...Val is sprung from the hospital that held her captive for three days!
If you thought the saga of her (non)broken back was never-ending, wait until you get a load of this tale of death-defying pulmonary-embolism survival. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll crawl on your belly like a serpent. Or you'll just click the "close" button.
I'm baaaaack! Thank you all for your words of encouragement. They gave a lift to my spirits when Genius logged on to my blog from his phone as I reclined in my hospital bed. So much to tell, so little breath to gasp while typing feverishly at my upstairs Shiba keyboard. I'll get the story out, whether you want to read it or not.
Here's the short version, in case you want to skip the next five or six days of cat unbagging. I have multiple blood clots in both lungs, and I'm on blood thinners and limited activity for a brief time. My dark basement lair will have to wait. This setup is not conducive to witty regaling, what with hearing Hick's too-loud TV in my left ear, and The Pony's surround-sound hubbub in my right. Plus, it's LIGHT in the living room.
More tomorrow. And the next day. And the next...
Val--We don't want any of your stinkin' posts that are written in cheery light. We want the dark and murky stuff we usually get from you.
ReplyDeleteBlood clots in your lungs? What lengths a teacher will go to miss the chaos of the end of the school year! Is it kind of like carrying some dead roaches in your purse, so you can place them in your restaurant salad and get your food free--could you pass me a couple o' clots so I can snort them down?
Seriously, I'm glad you're back home. However, being in the hospital is the only vacation moms get. Do you think it's too late to get yourself readmitted, for a few more days away from Hick's loud TV and his infernal CPAP?
Wow! Glad you're still with us! P.E.'s kill people. Life would not be good without Val Thevictorian and her tales from The Backwoods (she said selfishly). Sending healing vibes from the Rocky Mountains.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're out of rthe hospital and, hopefully, on the mend. Do take care.
ReplyDeletePheew! Glad your back. Take it slow.
ReplyDeleteYou take care of yourself and have those men in your life treat you like a princess!
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteIn retrospect, I think, perhaps, I would choose another method of obtaining a four-day holiday weekend and getting out of walking down the aisle at the graduation ceremony.
Believe me, Madam, if it was easy to snort out these clots and give them away, I would surely put you at the top of the list. I'm a giver, you know. I'm not ready for readmission unless I can get a private room. My horror story will curl your hair.
******
Leenie,
The vibes have reached me and I'm on the mend. The embolisms are being melted like the Wicked Witch of the West.
******
Stephen,
Thank you. I'm making a little progress each day. I might even make it down the steps to my dark basement lair tonight. Getting back up will be the challenge.
******
joeh,
That's the only way I can take it. No tiger in my tank.
*****
Lynn,
HIck has been grilling so I don't have to warm food in the oven or heat it in the microwave. The Pony is my gofer. Now all I need is a tiara.
Yikes! Val, please do take care. This is no time to paint the house!
ReplyDeleteCatalyst,
ReplyDeleteI am taking it slow. Not even a primer has been applied to the house.
Good grief girl! How do you get those horrendous things? Hope you are feeling better and better day by day. Guess this ends the school year for you. We care about you! Take care.
ReplyDeleteLinda,
ReplyDeleteAccording to the doctors, it was a side effect of HRT. Yes, I'm officially on vacation. One that was almost permanent.
Do not eat spinach. It will throw your clotting time off. I am so glad you are okay! Missed your wit.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteNever fear. I will NOT eat spinach.