And Now, the Queen for a Day is Going to Bake a DiGiorno

Hey! I'm going to let you in on a little-known secret: I'm a mom! I know how shocking that must be. Maybe I should have warned you to sit down first, rather than spring it on you, after all these years of keeping my children secret, never mentioning them here on the ol' blog.

Genius sent me a wonderful card from college. So what if he had to sell a little plasma to get the money? He even mailed it in plenty of time, so I got it on Thursday. It was a card showing the loving influence of moms behind great people in history. And on the last page was a little mirror. Perhaps it's more of a statement by Genius that he has lofty goals and plans to become a great person in history. I particularly liked the vignette of Einstein, with his mother telling him to do something about his hair before he went out. The Pony preferred the one where Sacajawea's mom scoffed, "You mean you found a man willing to ask for directions?"

This morning, Hick started off my pampering by only huffing twice and giving me the stink-eye once when I asked to get in the bathroom while he was standing at the sink in his tighty-whities filling his old-man weekly medicine-dispensing gadget. He then allowed me to do the Save A Lot and Walmart shopping, and two loads of laundry while he sharpened his lawnmower blade for three hours.

The good times kept on a-rollin'. While on the way back from shopping, The Pony revealed that Hick was going to grill the evening meal. Huh. First I heard of it. Because if I had known, I would most likely have picked up some meat to grill while in Save A Lot or even Walmart. Since I did not plan to make a third store-stop, we agreed on frozen pizza for supper. The next best thing to not cooking. Hick even came out to carry in the groceries.

The Pony gave me a musical card with a 1950s housewife on the front, wearing an apron, pulling a roast beast of some kind from the oven, which played the tune, "Yummy Yummy Yummy I've Got Love in My Tummy." The inside said, "You really know how to make dead things taste good." He's such a little charmer. Hick's card was roughly the size of a sheet of 4' x 8' plywood. That's because he loves me so much. It had a little bow, and some sequins and rhinestones, and was very pink. That's because it obviously appealed to Hick's feminine side, and because he knows what a giggly girly-girl I am. Still, it brought a tear to my eye due to the message, and not at all related to the price. The stepsons kicked in with celebratory texts, so all accounts have been settled.

Next, we went out on the porch to see my present. I hit the jackpot this year. I got two yellow rosebushes to replace the one that died, and a concrete birdbath. Never mind that the concrete birdbath had the bottom of the bathing part coated with dirt. I asked if it was a used birdbath, and The Pony jumped to Hick's defense. "It cost TWELVE DOLLARS!" Well, then. It was a smart purchase. I hope the chickens don't poop up the water for the regular birds who may desire to bathe.

Oh, and on the way to town to mow my mom's yard, Hick and The Pony planned to stop and get me a $69 pear tree to plant in the front yard. Just around the time all my teeth fall out, I'm going to have some pears to gum! And it will blossom all prettily between now and then.

This was definitely better than the Box of Snowcaps/Three-Dollar Change Purse Mother's Day.

Hick done good.