Paging Doctor Genius!

I have reached a temporary solution to my internet problems. I shall only use the desktop in my dark basement lair. My desktop has a name you know, it’s D E S K Y. No. That’s not true. Desky is the name of Genius’s desktop. It was his idea to name all of our electronics. Yes. The odd duck does not fall far from the nest. My desktop is New Delly. That’s because it’s a Dell, and when I got it, it was new. My laptop upstairs is named Shiba. Short for Toshiba. That’s the one that’s sick. She has come down with the .dll flu. Something has gone corrupt with her XPCOM file. Not only is Firefox unoperational, but so are my blogs, even when I try Internet Explorer as the browser. No gmail, no Blogger. I can’t even open my Sprint connect card thingy.

Downstairs, however, I can open the connect card. Just as long as I turn on the laptop and hang that connector in the window upstairs, the internet connection runs.

Yes, New Delly is hale and hearty. Robust. He’s the workhorse. The Percheron, the Clydesdale, the Belgian. Shiba, however, is listless. Languid. Anemic. She’s the swaybacked old nag with an appointment at the glue factory on Monday.

Whereas New Delly is a Charles Atlas, a Jack LaLane, an Izzy Mandelbaum capable of out-powerlifting Jerry Seinfeld…Shiba is the 98-pound weakling getting sand kicked in her face, standing on the sidelines in a back brace and headgear, holding an inhaler and an epi-pen, a mini pack of tissues strapped to her wrist, wearing a T-shirt that says, “I Brake For Peanuts.”

The invalid will rest on her perch on a wooden TV tray in the front living room window until Dr. Genius has time to do a workup. The patient may require surgery, may require a transplant, and will probably benefit from a good wiping.

The doctor is in, but I fear the patient will not be seen until morning rounds.