I am compiling a disguise. The Blogger Protection Program does not provide clothing, you know. I would be naked as a jaybird if I didn't have my comfy loungewear to go with my black socks and red Crocs. Even in Backroads, going about your business while naked as a jaybird is not considered polite.
The reason for my sudden sartorial quest is that just in case I make a trek north to a book signing, I will not be recognized. Since one of the signers says she will know me on sight, I will have to avoid that venue. Of course, she is the same someone who has been known to beat the stuffing out of black sock lint on the bathroom floor, read articles about HOW TO STOP ADULT BELLY, let a real creepy critter get away, find accidental bacon in her purse, and just about de-skin her nose trying to scrub off toothpaste that was actually on her reflection in the mirror. So, Linda, let's just say I'm not all THAT concerned about your eagle-eye vision picking me out of a crowd.
That said, I remain ever-vigilant. Missouri is crawling with ne'er-do-wells eager to reveal my secrets. In have not yet been able to locate a handbasket in which to hide. You'd think a handbasket maven like myself would be able to latch onto a prototype, at least. But no such luck. I have had to resort to one of Hick's auction finds. It might look familiar. I already blogged about it here. However, little did I realize at the time how grateful I would be for one of Hick's hoard items.
Yeah. That's me modeling it. Uh huh. That's the ticket. My old friend Jon Lovitz would vouch for me, I'm sure.
Get to know me!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I know someone with a secret identity. It's like you're Wonder Woman.
ReplyDeleteToo far to go to see if I can pick you out of that crowd. But if I were there I'd be checking for red crocs. By the way. WHY do we say, "Naked as a jaybird"? Jaybirds aren't at all naked. They are well dressed in a polyester blue tux right out of a 1960's wedding. Jaybirds know classic when they see it.
ReplyDeleteHa ha you make my cheeks hurt from laughing. Come out and play.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteYour rough command will get you nowhere, Madam!
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Stephen,
Of course I'm Wonder Woman. Oh. Wait a minute. I thought you said, "Wonderful Woman."
The clues are all here to find me. I'm easier than Waldo! To find, that is. The needle in this haystack is somewhere between my very first post on my old blog, unbaggingthecatsone.blogspot.com which can be found on the sidebar, and this post right here right now. Good luck.
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Leenie,
Wait! No fair! You are feeding clues to the bears on my trail. Clues must be hoisted into the air, and dangled from a frail branch to keep them out of bear hands.
Jaybirds get a bad rap. Just the other day I read that someone's face was as red as a jaybird's butt at pokeberry time.
Linda,
ReplyDeleteIs that a polite way of saying that I am a pain in the butt?
You have already cottoned to my time schedule, as in commenting while I am responding to comments. I fear your powers of deduction.