Lap House Intentions

It's been a month since we closed the purchase of Lap House. Since then, almost nothing has been done. Hick says he cleaned some stuff out of the basement, but I have a suspicion that the "stuff" was the tools he made a separate deal for with the previous owner.

Anyhoo... one evening Hick came from the shower to the kitchen, and said,

"I've got it! I know what I want to do with the house. This one has taken a while. Usually I can see a plan when I walk through it. Remember how it has that funny layout where you have to walk through a bedroom to get to the kitchen and the bathroom? I'm putting in a short hall, and moving the living room to where that bedroom is. So the two rooms on the front of the house will be bedrooms. You'll go down a short hall as you enter the front door. It leads to the living room and kitchen. The bathroom will be off the living room.

I want to get entrance to the basement from the inside of the house. I'll do that by extending the roof that's on the outside entrance to the basement now. Then I'll cut a door from inside the bathroom to get to those steps leading to the basement. There's no way to move the steps. They're concrete."

Here's the outside of Lap House. The front left is currently the living room, and the front right is a bedroom. The living room will turn into a bedroom, and the back bedroom will turn into the living room.

Here's the back, showing the basement entrance that Hick hopes to connect with a roof and a door into the bathroom.

Hick had his regular roofing buddy take a look at Lap House. A guy from his SUS2.5 said that he does roofing, and could give Hick an estimate. Hick was pretty sure Lap House needs a whole new roof, not just a patch job. It's a good selling point, too. Anyhoo... the SUS2.5 guy said he could do it for $8200. Regular Roofing Buddy said he will take $6300. I guess Hick knows his roofers! That's why we've been using the one guy all along.

Hick plans for the roof to be metal, and black. He hasn't decided on whether he will paint the red porch black, or the same color as the siding. Hick's HVAC guy also gave his estimate for heating and cooling, which Hick said was either $7600 or $6700. He can't remember (CAIN'T REMEMBER NOTHIN', heh, heh) because it was by a phone call, not a text.

I don't know when Hick will get all of this in motion. His harem is pretty needy lately, heh, heh. But at least he's taking my suggestion to get the roof and HVAC done now, while the weather is mild, so he can do inside work through the heat of summer and cold of winter.

Inside Lap House

The tour of Lap House won't take long. It's not that big. Just a living room, kitchen, two bedrooms, and a bathroom. I haven't seen the partial basement yet. That will have to wait until my official photographer can fit it into his schedule, heh, heh.

Living Room. The old guy who sold Hick this house had apparently been doing a little work on it. Looks like he ripped out carpeting, and painted some walls. I didn't ask if the wood floor is salvageable, but I imagine Hick has budgeted in his mind for laminate flooring.

Front Bedroom. It looks fairly decent, but might need new windows. That's me talking, from one photo, not Hick, who has walked through several times.

Kitchen. It seems cheery, with lots of light. Again, that might mean a lot of windows to replace. Pretty much everything in here has to go. EXCEPT... the countertop. Hick says it's the old granite kind of counter, and he'd like to try to save it. It's short, though. Just the part with the sinks.

Middle Bedroom. This might be the "problem" room. Due to its location, and awkward shape. Hick thinks it might be the only place to fit a washer and dryer. Not ideal, but I'd rather have a second bedroom, even if it meant having the laundry in there. Just like I'd rather have a washer and dryer in my house, as opposed to not having them. The other option would be the kitchen. I've had a washer and dryer in a bathroom before, but this bathroom is not big enough.

Bathroom. At first glance, it looks horrific. Upon closer inspection, the tile seems good. The floor looks interesting. The toilet is in decent shape. The tub is not pink, as I thought. Hick says it is kind of brown. He said it looks usable, which could save $1000 for a new one. He would paint it to match the toilet. I haven't seen the sink yet.

For handy reference, here's the outside view again.

Lap House isn't big enough to create new rooms. So there won't be a second bathroom. Hick DID note that there's room in the bathroom to put inside access to the basement. He said it looks like that's where it used to be, before somebody moved the entrance to the outside of the house.

There won't be much to see in the beginning. Hick plans to start with the electrical wiring. He will have to take off some siding, because some genius ran wires on the side of the house and covered them with siding! Then he will work on the plumbing. Not sure what's going on with that, other than there being several different kinds of pipe, from galvanized to PVC. 

I'm going to suggest that Hick work on the outside of Lap House while the weather is good. And save the interior for when the weather gets too hot or cold. Not that Hick is one to take my advice...

Introducing: Lap House

Yes. The photographer is of questionable talent. At taking photos. But he's a whiz at fixing up old houses. Hick was sitting in SilverRedO, parked across the street in front of an apartment building, when he took the front picture of Lap House for me. You may recall that Lap House is so named because the deal fell into Hick's lap when he was least expecting it.

Lap House has a generous yard. Out of sight on the left is an old brick church. A street runs by on the right side. There's a public sidewalk out front, but strangely, no sidewalk to the house. I image any residents would park in the back, off the alley, and use the back door.

Let's zoom in a bit, so you can see the actual house, and not a panoramic view of the neighborhood.

Lest you think the previous owner was a patriotic sort, let the record show that the school colors in this town are red, white, and blue. So the windows in the front door, and the railings by the back door, as well as the foundation, are likely those colors to support the team.

The roof has a few missing shingles from where the wind took them. Hick has not been in the attic yet. He says it's possible that the roof may need to be replaced, depending on what he finds there. Or it may just needs a patch. The tall vent pole on the front of the house will go away. Hick has already talked to his HVAC Guy, who says that there's a new way of doing the vent for the gas. Hick is planning to put in a new furnace and add central air, because the only cooling the house has now is a window unit. The vinyl siding is fine, it just looks wavy from the shadows, and my zoom-in on the original photo.

The front left window is the living room. The front right window is a bedroom. The kitchen is the part sticking out at the back with the back door. There's a single bathroom, behind that front bedroom. And behind it is a second bedroom. It's basically a 4-room house. I guess five if you count the bathroom. From the looks of them, the windows are old, and might need to be replaced. Hick hasn't mentioned that specifically yet.

Interior views will be coming soon.

The Deal is Done: Another Flip House, Coming Soon

The(flippin')Victorians bought another house on Thursday. The one I shall call Lap House, because it fell into Hick's lap without any search or real estate listing or sign in the yard. It was a call with an offer to sell, from an old guy referred to Hick by the old guy we bought the Double Hovel from.

In true Hick photography faux pas fashion, the picture is from the BACK of the house! 

Lap House is on The Pony's street. Three doors down. It's a nice wide street. This is a corner lot with a decent size back yard. That's the entrance to the partial basement. Much better than a crawlspace for flippers, because it's easy access for plumbing and electric and ductwork.

Across the street is an apartment building. It used to be an elementary school, which is pretty obvious to me from the windows. Next to Lap house is an old church. I don't think there is any activity there these days. I never see any cars or people. Whoever eventually buys Lap House will have better-than-average privacy, with a street on one side, an abandoned church on the other side, an alley in the back, and apartments across the street. I don't expect those residents will be hanging out in front, or complaining about goings-on.

More pictures as they become available.

Don't Trust a Gift House in the Lap (Part 4)

When we last convened, Hick and Val were holding their respective breaths, waiting to see if Some Guy would indeed show up at the title office to sign paperwork to sell Lap House to us as per the verbal agreement. I don't like stringing you along like this, but to put ALL the details in one post would be quite unwieldy.

SOME GUY SIGNED THE PAPERS!

But before he did, he'd made several more calls to Hick. He was worried that his truck deal would be off. Hick promised that the truck deal was still on. "I'll give you the money tomorrow. $2000. It's fine. No problems there. I'll bring it to you."

Hick just opened a whole new can of worms! Or maybe it was the old worms, which Hick had tried to keep in the can, but kept crawling out until they demanded my attention. 

The way Hick had presented the truck information to me was that he was trading two guns from his shop to Some Guy for his old pickup truck. Which he would then sell to Old Buddy, to be paid for by physical labor. Old Buddy also helps Hick with maintenance of the senior apartments, out of Hick's pocket. That was not quite the truth! (Are you shocked? I think not. I will not be investing in smelling salts stock.)

My first truck clue came when Hick asked, 

"How are we getting the $2000 to buy the truck?"

"What do you mean? YOU are the one buying the truck. I thought you were making a trade."

"No. WE are buying the truck. And Old Buddy will pay us back by working on the house."

"You never told me that!"

"I did too. I sent you the text last night from the auction. So you knew."

Here's the text: "Got all papers signed and started i told him I'd by the truck tomorrow"

That's straight from the Hick's fingers. Nothing in there says that WE are buying a truck.

"I have enough money to pay him, but I have to have it back by tomorrow, because I'm going to Illinois to pick up an order."

"I didn't know this was part of the house deal. We might just as well have paid him what he asked for at first."

"Then we wouldn't have the truck."

"Where IS the truck? You're not going to license it, are you?"

"No. I'll get the title. Then Old Buddy gets it when he's worked it off. It's over behind the house. It don't run."

"You bought a truck that doesn't run, to give to somebody else, but we're paying for it. That will be really hard to keep track of on the flip house expenses. And what about Pony's part?"

"I'll write his hours down on my paper every month that I give you. It's just not actual money I paid him out of my pocket. So I won't get it back."

"The truck doesn't even run!"

"It was in a wreck. It has front end damage. And a safety switch that needs to be replaced."

"I don't know how Old Buddy is going to fix it up and get it off our new property, without you paying him so he has money to fix it up! The city will probably send you a nasty letter about a nuisance vehicle. You know how they love to find things wrong with your properties."

"It will be fine, Val. Old Buddy said he wanted the truck."

A call to The Pony with this revelation garnered the following response:

"I'M not buying a junk truck for Old Buddy!"

We're off on another adventure...

Don't Trust a Gift House in the Lap (Part 3)

On Monday at 11:00, Hick came home early to take little Pepper to his first puppy appointment at the vet. He had no sooner come in the door than his phone rang. It was Some Guy. I could hear the whole conversation.

Some Guy was expecting Hick to pay him cash TODAY for Lap House! He said, "Like we talked about yesterday." Hick reminded him that he'd said he'd have to ask me about the cash issue. And I said no! If Hick was my detective partner, he'd always be Good Cop, and I'd be Bad Cop.

Hick explained that we would only do a regular cashier's check to the title office, once the title cleared. Some Guy asked if we could give HIM the cashier's check. No. He would get one from the title company. Then he asked if Hick could do the deal for less at the title office, and pay him $10,000 in cash. Because he was worried about his taxes on the house.

Hick explained that we would only do the standard deal, for the amount agreed upon. That Some Guy would NOT be cheated out of any money. Once the papers were signed, we were legally responsible to pay him his money, as long at the house title was clean.

It took several calls, with Some Guy saying he needed to talk it over. Asking Hick about taxes. Hick said he was not a tax expert. That there's a tax guy with an office over by Casey's who does his business taxes and only charges him $10. Maybe Some Guy should go talk to him with tax questions.

The longer this went on, with me being Bad Cop every time Hick opened his mouth, the more I got a read on Some Guy.

"I don't think he's trying to weasel out, or cheat us. I think he just doesn't understand how this works, and he's nervous. He acts like he thinks the tax bill is due tomorrow. It will be on next year's taxes. He's not considering he'll have the house money to set some aside to pay it. He may not owe much.

Maybe you should tell him that you can reschedule that title office appointment later in the week. So he doesn't feel rushed. Maybe he can actually talk to a tax person before then. I'd even pay the $10 or $20 for him to get tax advice."

"Yeah. I'll call him back in a bit and tell him we don't have to rush into it today. Or maybe the gal at the title office can explain it to him."

Still waiting to see what happens this afternoon...

Don't Trust a Gift House in the Lap (Part 2)

On Sunday, Some Guy was back at Hick's SUS2.5. Not about the truck deal, but about the house. As if we need anything else to worry about.

"Some Guy was there again. He said a buddy told him that he'll have to pay taxes on the money he gets for the house. Maybe up to 30%. I told him yeah, he'll get taxed for what he makes off the house. I don't know how much. He asked if we could write the sale for less. For $15,000. And pay him the rest in cash. I told him I didn't think so. But I needed to talk it over with you."

"The point isn't if we are ABLE to do it. But if we WILL do it. That amount of sale will be recorded. It will look like we bought a $15,000 house. Then when WE sell it, that will look like a much bigger profit. WE are the ones who will get taxed on it then."

"He said if he had lived in it for two years, he wouldn't have to pay the taxes. I said that's right, too bad he couldn't do that, but he said his name wasn't on the title then."

"So he's particular about how he wants to cheat on the taxes, heh, heh! I don't like the idea of cash. It will be hard to get. The bank tracks every withdrawal over $1000. There will be a record that we took out a lot of cash. You'll probably have to ask for it ahead of time. It might set us up for a tax audit in the future."

"One of my buddies said he took out a lot of money to buy a car for cash. The teller asked him what it was for, and he said, 'None of your damn business! It's MY money!' So they have to give it to you."

"I'll call The Pony, since we're partners in this. Just to get another opinion."

The Pony heard the story, and said, "Sounds like tax fraud to me. But I don't care either way."

We have decided this is not an option for us. It's either done like a regular real estate deal, with a cashier's check, or we are out.

As of this writing, it's Sunday night. On Monday, Hick will tell Some Guy (if he shows up at the title office) that we expect a regular (legal) agreement and purchase, or he can sell to his other (higher offer) buyer. I seriously doubt that somebody else will hand over that much cash.

Don't Trust a Gift House in the Lap (Part 1)

On Thursday, Hick made a handshake deal with Some Guy to purchase Lap House. That's a flip house that fell into Hick's lap on Monday, a house inherited by Some Guy from a friend who passed away. They agreed to meet at the title office for an appointment the following Monday to draw up legal paperwork.

On Saturday, Hick came home from his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5) with a hope-dampening tale.

"Some Guy was at my unit today. I'd told him I'd trade him for a truck he has. He wanted a couple of my guns. He come in an picked out the most expensive one, and said, 'I'll take this one, and another one.' I told him, 'Well, I haven't had a chance to look at the truck yet. So it will have to wait.'"

"Oh, no! Now he'll be disgruntled, and might not go through with the house deal!"

"No. He also come in sayin' that another guy had offered him more for the house. Then he said, 'But I made a deal with you. So I'll stick to it.' I think he will. But we'll find out Monday if he shows up for the paperwork."

"Why are you trading for a truck? You don't need a truck! How are you gonna sell a truck?"

"Old Buddy wants the truck. I figure I can work the money out of him."

"Yeah, IF he shows up to work!"

Anyhoo... everything still seems to be go for the deal on Lap House. Right?

Tune in tomorrow for another episode of How the Gift House Drops.

Lap House Dance

Hick spent Monday and Tuesday evening talking about Lap House. With a gleam in his eye. I could tell it was his new love. So desirable. Bargain House was a fleeting memory. An old flame.

I couldn't really find any good reasons to reject Lap House, aside from cash flow. I'd talked to The Pony, who was on board with a new flip, given the understanding the money from the Bargain House sale was needed for investment. Hick kept emphasizing that he'd told Some Guy that he would need a couple days to think about it, and would let him know. So Wednesday night, I gave the okay.

Hick called Some Guy, and said he'd like another walk-through. That was on Thursday. On my way to pick up The Pony for our errand day, I heard a text come in. I was driving, and couldn't read it. My phone rang. It was Hick. I also shouldn't have answered, because that's illegal here now. But being a scofflaw for selective purposes, I did.

"Val. Some Guy wants more than we talked about. Three thousand more."

"Where are you?"

"I'm here now. At the house."

"Can he HEAR you???"

"Nah. There's some other guys here."

"I think we can come up with that. Since it's still lower than what he asked for. You couldn't even do your 'split the difference, split the difference' bargaining. 

No. I tried."

"Well. It's only $500 more than splitting the difference would have been. It should be fine."

"Okay. I'll tell him."

By then, I was only a few blocks from The Pony's house. We drove down that way to get a look. Hick and some guys were standing out back in the alley behind the house. We waved. The front looked decent enough. Lap House has good lines. Nothing sagging. Nothing falling off. Not an eyesore.

After going to the bank, and getting gas for T-Hoe, and shopping at Country Mart, I drove The Pony home.

"Let's go by Lap House, up the side street, to get a good look at the back. I can pull into the alley."

No. I couldn't. Because there was still a bunch of guys standing around behind the house! Hick was gone. I didn't want to look like a weirdo. But I was already going up the side street.

"YOU look, Pony. So they don't suspect anything."

The Pony reported that the back looked okay. We'll have to go by this Thursday if we want to stop. IF there's nobody hanging around then. Hick reported later that there were two other guys hanging out with Some Guy, and they were all drinking beer. A lot of beer.

Anyhoo... Hick accepted Some Guy's price. He called the title company and got an appointment for Monday afternoon for him and Some Guy to go fill out paperwork to start a title search.

You'd think we just bought ourselves another flip house. Or DID we...?

Lap House Specs

Hick went to look at Lap House on Monday afternoon. Since this opportunity fell into his lap, that's the name I have chosen for this potential flip. The house was not listed with a realtor. Just Some Guy wanting to sell it, who was a friend of the guy who sold us the Double Hovel flip house(s).

Some Guy was waiting to show Hick the property. It is TWO HOUSES DOWN FROM PONY HOUSE! Of all the places it might be, there it was. Almost a neighbor of The Pony. Some Guy inherited this house from a friend who died.

Anyhoo... it's on a corner lot. Across from it is an old elementary school that has been converted to apartments. Beside it is an old church that is not occupied. There's a gravel alley in back, and off-road parking. A back door on the church side, for easy entry from the alley parking. The roof is shingle, and in good shape. The house has vinyl siding, also in good shape. There's a basement with an outside entrance. Hick likes this, because it makes running plumbing and electric easier than with a crawlspace. Inside, it's 2 bed/1 bath. Hick said the kitchen is outdated and needs to be completely redone. The only way to the bathroom is through a bedroom. It needs new electric. There's a gas furnace, but no air conditioning besides a small window unit. 

Some Guy has painted some of the rooms. Has torn out all the carpets. Hick doesn't know if he was planning to flip it, or update it to live there. Some Guy quoted Hick a price. Hick said he would have to talk to me and The Pony, and would get back to him. Hick thinks that after fix-up costs, we could make a $20,000-30,000 profit on Lap House.

A House Falls Into Hick's Lap

Hick was driving to his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5) on Monday when he got a phone call. It was some guy he didn't know. He said that he heard Hick buys houses to flip. Turns out Some Guy knows the guy we bought the Double Hovel flip house(s) from. Who is the dad of Genius's elementary school teacher.

"I told him I'd come by and take a look at it later this afternoon."

Well. We haven't sold Bargain House yet. The Pony's money is tied up in that. So we'd have to front the money until The Pony gets his cut of the Bargain House sale, then recoup it. Not a problem, but something I'd rather not deal with. We could still come up with the asking price without getting a loan.

With nothing happening on the foreclosure house that's been stringing us along since last fall, Hick is getting antsy for another project. Hick has told Loan Officer that he will not pay one penny more for that foreclosure house than he had first offered and been approved for. We have no idea what will happen when it goes up for bids on the courthouse steps.

"Maybe this is what's supposed to happen. So if we would get this new house, we'd forget about that foreclosure?"

"Not necessarily..."

Well. I'm sure I'll have something to say about THAT. I'm pretty sure The Pony will share my concerns. More details about the "Lap House" tomorrow...