The Universe Even Smiles on Val's Rumpus Some Days

Wednesday evening, Hick came in with a stack of three papers. Papers that needed filling out by Thursday. Papers that would not be filled out by Hick, whose writing is virtually illegible. His Rs look like Ws. I can barely decipher the NUMBERS on the monthly itemization of cash outlays for Bargain House. At least there are only 10 numbers. Not 26 letters.

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Welp! Here's a prime example of why I must do the filling out of forms. I just had a space cadet moment, forgetting if there are 24 or 26 letters in the alphabet. I called out the question to Hick. 

"How many letters in the alphabet?"

"27."

"No way! I know it's 24 or 26. It's definitely not 27!"

"A...B...C..." Hick was counting on his fingers. "Yep! 27!"

"NO! I know that's too many!"

"Look it up on your phone, then!" Hick said as I sat in front of HIPPIE, typing.

I consulted my estranged BFF Google. "It's 26. What'd you do, make up a letter?"

"I guess I left one out." 

Looks like I won't consult Hick about math, either!

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Anyhoo... this paperwork was forms from the title company Hick brought home to fill out for the sale of HIS LAND.

"I thought they were doing all the paperwork. That's what we're paying them for."

"They just need this basic stuff to put in. Like the legal description of the property. And our signatures saying we're married. That's why you have to go by there tomorrow to sign papers. Because I'm married to you. I signed all the papers today. Now you have to."

This was not something I particularly wanted to do, but I looked up the legal description with township and plot and block from the tax receipts, and filled out all the info I knew. Then I had to call The Pony so we could meet earlier for Errand Day, to allow time for the title office. 

Usually we are all there together for such a transaction. Now Hick had abandoned me. But The Pony was willing to accompany me, to stop my rolly chair from sliding out from under me, and to assist me with a hand in getting up from the table after the signing.

"I really hate this, Pony. I've been stressing all night. I think I'll take my cane. I feel more secure. Nobody wants to have to get me up off the floor!"

"I'll help you, Mom. No problem."

"Maybe you can take in these forms, and just say, 'My mom needed to drop these off and sign papers. Are you ready for that now, or should she come back. She wanted to know before she walked in.' They know us there. They know how I hobble."

"Yes. I can do that."

The Pony trotted in, while I readied my cane. They have a nice concrete ramp there, with a rail. Or three steps with a rail. But the doorjamb is a step up. The Pony returned in five minutes.

"She looked at the papers, and went to the file to see if they were ready. She says she can bring them out to you if that would be more convenient."

"YES! That's great!"

The Pony went back to tell her. The gal came out. It's not the one we usually have at closings, who Hick had talked to and was doing the title search. I don't recall having met this one. But she was SO NICE! I got those papers signed in no time, from the comfort of T-Hoe's leather seat.

"Thank you so much for bringing these out. It really helps me. Oh, and my name is spelled wrong on all three signature places."

"Oh, no!"

"Maybe I could cross through them, and print the right spelling, and initial?"

"No. I think we have a way we can fix it. I need to check the other papers, too. To make sure we get it right. We already have a copy of your ID from the last closing, so I don't have to get that."

It was the easiest closing ever! Hick asked later if she gave me the check. But she had told us the other party had not yet been there to sign. So they'll call Hick when they have the check ready, after subtracting out our half of the closing costs.

That darn Hick needs to learn how to spell my name! And if the title company had my ID, why didn't they check THAT to make sure the spelling was right? Probably because they trusted Hick to know how to spell his own wife's name the first time we were there, and he got it wrong. They must have been referring to those initial papers when drawing up new ones. Because I've had to tell them it's wrong at other closings, too. Oh, and Hick still hasn't changed my name on the title on his new old trailer yet.