Val's Skill at Interpreting Hick is Sometimes Lacking

I've grown accustomed to Hick's language. After 36 years, I can basically figure out what he's trying to say. By that I mean I know what he's texting or leaving notes about. Not that I can understand what he's trying to convey when he speaks. That's something I have not yet mastered. But I DO know that when there's a note on the predecessors to FRIG II saying, "Gone to look for dear," that Hick is in the woods somewhere, not at a honky-tonk seeking companionship.

Thursday, I was stumped.

"Im going to Bill-Paying Town to get two freedoms for Bargain House"

Well. I suppose that's a good thing. Who wouldn't want two freedoms? For themselves, or a random flip house. Surely Hick would be improving our situation by picking up two freedoms. I didn't have time to text back. I knew where he was going. I could be pleasantly surprised later when I saw those freedoms.

Except I was dying to know what accoutrements lay in store for Bargain House. I had to call Hick anyway, once I was in town where my phone works, to remind him to check the mailbox. I knew there was no mail service on Juneteenth, but our mail has been getting here in the evenings, after Hick is home. So I wanted him to check for the previous day's mail while he was out. It has become his chore, as I'm saving the number of times my knees must hoist me in and out of T-Hoe.

Anyhoo... at the end of that call, I asked Hick what he was picking up.

"I'm trying to figure out WHAT you are picking up for Bargain House. You said you're getting two FREEDOMS!"

"I did? Heh, heh. I ain't gettin' no freedoms. I guess the phone did that. I was texting you and got a call from a gal I'm doing some house repairs for, and then another call from my buddy who said he knew somebody giving away stuff I might want, and turns out I knew who that lady was, so I called her to say to hold them for me. I'm getting two DOORS."

"I don't know how the phone could change doors to freedoms, but okay."

"I don't know either. I'm just picking up two free doors."

AHA! When he put it that way, I can see how it might happen. The Pony was stumped as well, when I relayed the tale the next morning. Stumped how autocorrect might turn doors to freedoms, until it came to the FREE part.

Every day with Hick is an adventure.