The King and Queen of Garbled Information

As you read this, it's the day of our closing on the sale of the Double Hovel flip house(s). I really hope everything goes off without a hitch. No small feat when two of the involved parties are Hick and Realtor. 

I have only spoken to Realtor at other closings, and she seemed fairly normal and savvy to me. Hick is another story. But lately, I don't know which one is wielding the monkey wrench. Dealing with them is like watching a performance of "Who's On First." The amateur junior college theater version.

You may recall the NO CONDITIONS contract on our property. And the "inspector" that turned out to be an inspector and an appraiser. Then there was the "behind the courthouse" site for our closing. And just a few days ago, Realtor called Hick in a panic, asking where the report from the building inspector might be. 

I thought this "report" was in reference to the inspection/appraisal that just happened last week. And shouldn't Realtor be the one who had that? Why would Hick know where it was? Surely the buyers and/or their own realtor would have a copy. 

Hick said no, this was about the original report from the building inspector from the city, back when work was finished, and he certified the residences for occupancy, and we listed the property with Realtor. "She took it because she was afraid somebody would pick it up." WHAT? That report was just lying around the house? Hick said he told Realtor that she had put it in our file, saying she wanted to keep everything together. Realtor didn't have it, but said that she was sure the city building inspector could send her a copy.

Anyhoo... I'm not sure where all this confusion originates. Realtor has been around here doing business for a long time. She's no spring chicken. You'd think she has all her ducks in a row, though Lawyer mentioned to Hick that Realtor has been sick lately. Small town, you know...

Anyhoo... midweek, Hick said he had a text from Realtor with the closing time, and the location was different from that "behind the courthouse" place Hick had ASSUMED it was before. Not sure if this is a Hick problem or a Realtor problem, since Hick could never actually give me the name of the place, and consulted my estranged BFF Google for the info. This time he read off the name from Realtor's text.  It is NOT behind the courthouse. It is over a mile from the courthouse, and across the road from a Colton's Steakhouse.

Hick can do a lot of things well. Providing reliable information is not one of them.

I really hope we show up at the right place for the closing!