Hick Does Not Suffer Rumpusholes Cheaply

It doesn't pay to be a rumpushole to Hick.

"The guy with his driveway on my land called me. He just said his name and jumped right in before I even had a chance to think. He said, 'So what are you thinking?' I said, 'I have to at least get out what I've put into it. Around $1200 to $1500.' Then he said, 'That ain't happenin'.' 

His attitude kind of pissed me off. I said his son had talked to me about it, and he didn't say much. Like his son shouldn't have said nothin'. Then he says, 'Well, I've maintained it all these years.' And I said, 'You ain't done nothin'! You put your driveway on it. And I don't think you own that other section that the other half of your driveway is on, neither!' He basically told me I can't do nothin' about it. And he said, 'Why would you buy a piece of land like that?'"

"That's what I said! About the shape of the lot."

"It was on the courthouse steps. I didn't have a map. I just bought it because it was in the city limits, and it was cheap. I found out later it was just a strip. And I'm not sure his sign is really on my part. Technically, I think it's on the road right-of-way. The reason the city wants the sign down is because he never applied for a building permit to build the sign."

"So this guy thinks it's his right to build his business on whatever property he feels like? And that the owners of it have no rights, but should pay the real estate taxes on it for 35 years?"

"Seems like it. I'm so mad that I feel like having Lawyer send him a letter."

"I guess first you should make sure you actually have legal recourse to start something. It's not like an easement where you have to let people travel across your property because there's no other way to get to theirs."

"I'm not sure. There might be a law in Missouri that after a certain amount of time, if you don't say anything, you can't claim any damages. Seems like one of my buddies told me that a while back. Like at your $17,000 house. That driveway next door? It was technically an alley. Your neighbor used to put posts in it and block it off every now and then. When nobody did anything about it, the alley eventually became his driveway."

"Whatever. I don't really care either way. You'd think this guy would just agree to pay you, and be done with it."

"You'd think so. But I'm enough of an asshole that I'll pay money to see if I can fight it."

"The thing that bothers me is that we DID pay the taxes on it for 35 years. Even though it's not much, it's the idea that we're paying for land this guy is claiming to have a right to use. Send HIM the tax bill every year!"

"IF there's anything we can do, he'll have to get it surveyed. That'll cost him. And he'll need a lawyer. And then he'll have to get the deed recorded at the courthouse. I'm gonna call Lawyer and see what he thinks."

"Yeah. It won't cost that much. He'll know if you have any rights to your own land, heh, heh!"

This strip of land is worth nothing. Unless somebody needs it to expand his business, which is what this guy did. I don't know if he can legally do that. Maybe he can. Maybe anybody can decide to build something on land they don't own, and it becomes theirs. Just like squatters moving into a house and refusing to leave, and they can't be kicked out. The only people who benefit are the lawyers.

Like I've always said... Hick is happiest when he has a project. Even if that project is making a rumpushole miserable.