Thursday, November 7, 2024

Oh, the Lengths Hick Goes to While Trying to Kill Me!

For the past few days, the kitchen door has been sticking when I try to open it. With our record-setting rainfall since Sunday evening, I figured it must be the wood framing swelling with humidity. When I came home Tuesday afternoon, and tossed the dogs their treats... the door didn't close. Oh, it looked like it closed. But I didn't hear the "click" of the lock. I pushed, and that door swung open. 

Welp! We can't have that! I tried again, several times. Nope. The door still pushed open. A good slam didn't even work. I looked at the door frame. Aha! The metal plate with the hole in it for the doorknob latch thingy to fit into was sticking out! The two screws in it were loose!


How did THIS happen? I'll stop short of accusing Hick of loosening the screws a little bit every morning as he leaves. Perhaps those screws just vibrated loose with the daily opening and closing of the door. Of course I did not have a screwdriver handy. Scarlett kept walking into the house. It doesn't bother me all that much, because she just stands in the kitchen beside me, hoping for another treat. But Hick freaks out when a paw crosses the threshold. So I had a furry supervisor as I was figuring out how to handle my lack of a barrier to keep out... oh, I don't know... maybe an inmate escaped from the prison who might want to enter and kill me?

These were screws that needed a Phillips screwdriver. But wait! There on the kitchen table was my metal letter opener with its pointy flat end. It worked like a charm. I repaired the door, and it shut just fine, latching as a respectable door should. Otherwise, it's only as effective as the doors of the Long Branch Saloon. 


Hick gave me this letter opener when I said I needed one. He found it in a bunch of his junk. It has no meaning for either of us, but it works great for opening letters!

When I went to the kitchen to turn on HIPPIE on Wednesday morning at 10:00, I saw light coming from the door frame. The door was not closed! Hick had left at 7:00. I hope he didn't already pay off a prisoner for future duties...

6 comments:

  1. I have at least skaty-eight different screwdrivers of various sizes and types and I often resort to using a knife or a dime for things like this as I can't find the driver I need...until of course, after I use the dime.
    You may want to cxl your life insurance policy!

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    1. I told Hick when he came home that evening that the door was not closed behind him! I guess he was planning to let an escaped prisoner in at night, too, while HE slept with a shotgun under the bed.

      It still needed better repairs or a good slam. You can see in the picture that my letter opener was not quite effective enough on that bottom screw.

      Hick whipped his knife out of his pocket and fixed it. No fancy screwdriver for him! I guess it's back to the old drawing board for his next attempt on my life.

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  2. I have two letter openers and always use a knife to open letters. And I keep a small phillips head screwdriver in the kitchen drawer along with a flat blade screwdriver, because you never know when you are going to need one or the other. My mum always had the same in her kitchen drawer along with assorted plumbing washers and a roll of that plumbing tape to wrap around the thread before screwing something back on to whatever was needing fixing, like a new tap going onto the old pipe. Very resourceful she was and that's where I learned it, even though she packed up and left us when I was seven, I still remember.

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    1. The Pony tries to use the letter opener to pry up the edges of the flap! I guess his job only involves DELIVERING the envelopes, not knowing how to open them.

      It's good that your mom taught you to be prepared, and how to fix things. My dad taught me that stuff. I actually have my own toolbox (bought from a student who made it in shop class), but it's on the shelf above the washer in the laundry room.

      With the door not closing, I grabbed the quickest tool that could "fix" the problem. I could have gone to get the Phillips screwdriver once I had Scarlett shut out, but I figured that's a job for Hick.

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  3. Hick needs to pull out his A game if he is going to be successful. However, I hope he is not successful.

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    1. I hope so too! Good thing Hick is not a logical, nor efficient, alleged killer!

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