Nose Out of Joint, Val Nearly Flattens the Bride of Satan

Thursday is my weekly errand day, and the fact that it fell on Halloween made no difference to me. Off to the bank and post office and Casey's and Country Mart. I didn't have a lot to get in Country Mart, and even considered skipping it, but they did have Hick's Diet Mountain Dew on sale until next Tuesday.

We'll begin when my nose was still in joint. I went by the deli, and got a big salad for me, as well as some cold fried chicken. I'm making pasta for Hick, which will last him three days at least. So I'm not going to cook another meal for myself. I'm not a big fan of pasta, but will eat it when there's nothing else for me.

From the deli, I crossed the aisle for nine bananas. Four long ones for Hick, five short ones for me. I ripped a bunch in half to get his, but I didn't want to leave a single banana behind from my bunch. I grabbed a box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes for Hick. He has one every night, and I couldn't remember how many he had left. He keeps them in FRIG II, because he likes them cold. Then it was off to the soda aisle.

There were more people in the store than normal. I always get there between 3:00 and 4:00. Always just one cashier on duty. They kept announcing for somebody to come to the front to check. In fact, when I got in line behind two other customers, they called somebody up. Of course the four teenagers who had just stepped in line behind me went to the newly-opened register. The last come first, I suppose. I guess they had just gotten out of school. They each had one item. I figured they would all be paying separately. Looked like snacks. NOT eggs or TP or other shenanigan supplies for the evening.

Anyhoo... my nose started bending out of joint when the young man who is usually so nice put ALL of my items in ONE BAG! And then double-bagged it! What's the point? It was too heavy for me, and the plastic containers of salad and chicken were on top of my tender bananas! With Little Debbie jammed down on the side. I have extra bags in T-Hoe's rear, for the very purpose of re-bagging what the clueless cashiers give me. So it was not totally unexpected. But then...

Young Man Cashier asked how I was doing. Just making conversation. And I said, "I didn't expect you to be so busy today." You know, because he was the main cashier at the first register, and they kept calling others up to help.

"Reeeally??? On HALLOWEEEEENNNN?"

This is what put me off. Excuuuuuse me for being an idiot who didn't realize that Halloween afternoon was the new Black Friday! In my day, Halloween afternoon was a time to get the kids right home, get homework done, supper eaten, costumes on, and hit the road for trick-or-treating. Not a time to go to the grocery store. What last-minute items could these people possibly need? With the exception of buying shenaniganning supplies, the teens should be getting ready for a night out, and the elderlies rushing home to turn out their lights and sit, barely breathing, until time for kids to be off the streets.

I guess Young Man Cashier was just frustrated from his busy day. The people I saw were only buying normal grocery items. I suppose it being the last day of the month might have had an impact. I was thinking the main rush would be on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, the first weekend of the month.

Anyhoo... in a miniscule fit of pique, I pushed my groceries out to T-Hoe. I got into the driver's seat, and wrote down my purchase in the checkbook register. Then I started T-Hoe, and began backing out of my parking space.

What in the NOT-HEAVEN??? Literally! The Bride of Satan strode out of the pharmacy door, and angled herself across the lot right behind T-Hoe! While I was in motion! Not a straight-across path, either. She made sure to block my path for a long time, while going down the hill to the main parking lot section.

I know she was the Bride of Satan, all decked out for Halloween, because she was wearing a bright red full-length dress with ruffles, and had her jet-black wig in a style like the gals on that old TV show Here Come the Brides, with Bobby Sherman. Not that Bobby was satan or anything. It was just that style of hair.

T-Hoe is from 2008. No backup camera. The backup beeper has been broken for at least 10 years. We had it fixed at the dealer, and it worked ONE DAY. No more money down that rat hole. I guess the Bride of Satan assumed that I would magically see her in time to jam on the brakes and let her pass.

When I told Hick about it, I said, "One day, I'd really like to flatten one of those idiots, just to teach them a lesson. But I figure it would take too much time away from my scratchers to deal with the lawsuit."