"Look at that! My buddy sent it to me."
You can't be too careful looking at something on Hick's phone after such a preface. There's a reason both Genius and The Pony have decreed that Hick is not allowed to send them random pictures. I guess Hick thought it was safe, since I was strapped down, and in a moving vehicle.
It was a house.
Hick is like that Cookie-Mouse. If you give Hick money to buy a $5000 house, pretty soon he's going to want another house. And the 'nother house has to be a better bargain than
A $5000 HOUSE!
"It's over on Sixth Street. I'm going by later to look at it. It's ONLY $1600!"
Seriously. Just when you think houses can't get any cheaper. I told Hick to drive me over there. I didn't want to be hearing about it second-hand. Sometimes Hick's eyes glaze over with a lack of dollar $igns.
It's a house only Hick (and possibly HOS) could love. On the drive over, Hick already had grand plans to get this house. "I figure if I offer $1000, the guy'll probably jump at it, just to get rid of it." And grand plans to fix it up in three months and flip it. "I can do most of it myself. I'm sure HOS would help me for a share of the profit. I'd just need him for some plumbing, or climbing on ladders."
This is why I demanded to ride along with him!
Hick knew this house right away. "It's This Guy's old house! One of his rental houses, that he sold to Another Guy."
"I don't think this one is even worth $1000. You'd have to put so much money into it, even with just the basics. It needs a roof. There's a sag in the middle of the foundation. That can't be good."
"A roof for that would only run you about $2000. You could jack up the foundation. It may be nothing. I wonder what the inside looks like."
"You can go look in that end window. Because there's no window in it!"
With Hick so excited about his new flipping hobby, there's a slight chance that another flip house is on Thevictorians' horizon.
This house ain't it.
Oh, this is such a pass. Hick, what is he thinking? Can't he finish the $5000 house first?!
ReplyDeleteHick has a history of taking on new projects before the old one is done. He's got flipping fever, I guess. Glad I talked him down from the ledge of insanity.
DeleteWTF? A 10 X 12 shed at Home Depot costs $1000 in Jersey!
ReplyDeleteI can't let Hick know that, or he will build one on skids, and drive it there to sell for a profit.
DeleteHaving two front doors, it looks to me like it might be divided inside into two small flats. Am I right in seeing two extensions out the back plus an outdoor outhouse? (a backyard dunny (toilet)as wee say out here)
ReplyDeleteI mentioned the doors, asking if it was a duplex, and Hick, said it's just how they did the doors. He knew the old owner rented it as a single unit.
DeleteI see the extension out the back, but I'm guessing the rest is just sheds. I don't think an outhouse would have been allowed in the city limits.
We used to flip houses before it became a thing. Our first house had no heating system, no windows on the main floor. I thought it was a palace.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a palace to someone living in a cardboard box! Not saying YOU were living in a cardboard box, of course. Just that "palace" is in the eye of the beholder.
DeleteNo matter which house you get, there will always be people with better houses, and people with worse houses, and people with no house at all. Hick is quite proud of Hick House, and looking to adopt another one before the ink on this deal is dry. Oh, wait! We don't have a formal document of ownership yet...
Hick is looking at a new hobby, seeing possibilities all over the place.
ReplyDeleteYes, Hick has always been a man with a vision. He made the dirt-floor basement of my $17,000 house into a living room/play room for his boys (who were 9 and 7 at the time), a bedroom with built-in bunk beds, and laundry room. It had windows on two sides, and a walk-out door. Couldn't see wasting that space.
DeleteOf course we poured concrete and put down a tile floor!
You ruined my vision when you pored concrete and put actual flooring in!!
DeleteWe may be hillbillies, but not to the degree that we'd make our young 'uns live on a dirt floor!
Delete