A Valedictorian, a Hick, an Ex-Mayor's Wife, and a Former City Official Walk Into a Casino For Free Stuff

Freebies are a big deal for cheapskate gamblers. CasinoPalooza 4 did not disappoint. Not only did each of us get a free hotel room for both nights, and a combined total of over $370 in free play, but we also had a group total of $88 in food comps. And let's not forget all the soft drinks we could swill while on the casino floor! So it almost paid us to go, see?

Imagine our delight when we checked our comp booklets, and found out that on the second day of our impending trip, Downstream Casino was offering FREE softside coolers! All we had to do was earn 40 points between 6:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m. on Tuesday. Then print out a voucher from the kiosk, and take it to the player's card desk.

You can never be sure how many dollars it's going to cost you to earn 40 points. Depends on what level you're gambling, how much you win, and how much you play back. The Ex-Mayor was the first to get his cooler. He spent less than $16 to earn his 40 points. Would he have paid $16 for a cooler? Probably not! But it was FREE, you see! Besides, we were going to gamble anyway, whether it was there with a FREE cooler dangling as a reward, or at one of the other six casinos we were headed for that day.

I was second to get my cooler. I'm pretty sure the fact that Ex-Mayor and I are higher rollers than Hick and Sis had something to do with it. Still, I was only on my second twenty when I earned my 40th point. I immediately cashed out and went looking for Hick. He was sitting at the same game I'd left him at 30 minutes earlier, betting 60 cents a spin. "Go on. I'll have it in just a minute! I'll meet you up front." That was our designated meeting place, and it was time to meet.

Ex-Mayor helped me figure out the voucher thingy. Sis said she wasn't spending her money trying to win a FREE cooler. She had accumulated less than 20 points so far. "I have to conserve my money. We have a lot of places to go today. I can't spend it all here trying to get a cooler!"

As soon as I returned with my FREE cooler, Hick showed up. He needed extra help to obtain his cooler. Sis nearly had a conniption, as she watched Hick go to the kiosk and touch the screen as instructed by Ex-Mayor, then WALK AWAY LEAVING HIS COOLER VOUCHER HANGING OUT OF THE KIOSK! "Ex-Mayor! Go get Hick! He left his voucher! Someone else is going to grab it and get his cooler!" You know, because casinos are full of old folks hanging around the kiosks to steal free stuff. I doubt they could have gotten it, anyway, because we had to show picture ID along with our player's card and voucher to get it.

I chose the blue, and we were all hollering at Hick in the line so he'd get red. It's a Samsonite 36-can soft-side cooler. All that excitement and drama and money spent getting them... and I didn't even carry them in the house until yesterday, one whole week after we got them!

Aside from the free food vouchers, our other favorite freebie this trip was HOT CHOCOLATE. It's on the free beverage station at High Winds Casino. Believe me, we looked at all the others, too, but they only had coffee and tea and soda. The hot chocolate comes out of a machine. Sis remembered it from their trip over Christmas. "Make sure you take your thumb off the button before your cup is full! It will run over. It keeps going." Good thing we listened to her. It never pays not to listen to Sis.

Ex-Mayor was quite disappointed on Monday night, as we waited for him to come out to A-Cad. "Darn it! I forgot my hot chocolate! I was headed over there to get some. I was going to bring it with me!" Too bad, so sad! Sis and I had each enjoyed ours immensely. I doubt they would have let him walk out with a cup of hot chocolate, though. Carrying drinks out is frowned upon. I don't know if Oklahoma Indian Casinos have the same strict rules about alcohol as Missouri casinos. But you usually can't carry an open container out.

Tuesday, we stampeded straight back to the hot chocolate machine. Ex-Mayor went first. He dropped an ICE CUBE into his cup of hot chocolate. To cool it off faster, he said. That is just wrong! Though I probably should have done so, because I burned my tongue. Even though I knew to wait, and to blow on my hot chocolate before trying a tiny sip. It did not help that I double-cupped it. More to keep the floppy foam cup from squeezing too much than to keep it extra warm. I confess to having TWO cups of hot chocolate on Tuesday night. Mmm.

Yes, CasinoPalooza 4 was a bargain. The credit card statement came in the mail today. Time to pay off all the incidental expenses for our freebies.