Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #82 "Bringing Sexy Backs"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. Are you interested in tattoos? Do you sport a few yourself, perhaps? Have you ever bemoaned the fact that there are so many tattoos, so little skin? If so, or if you're just a connoisseur of body art, then this week's fake book is for you. Get this tale of an artist who reinvents himself with the personal motto of "Go big or go homeless."

Bringing Sexy Backs

Dustin Forestpond soon found that life as a Justin Timberlake impersonator did not pay all his bills. He put his artistic talents to use, designing tattoos for the 600-pound market. To promote his new business, Dustin booked himself at the Bigger Than Life convention at the Motel 6 out on the interstate. His advertiser's fee was comped by convention organizers in lieu of Dustin agreeing to perform a mini concert during the buffet lunch. Not that anybody noticed.

Will Dustin's prospective customers embrace their wild side, or tell Dustin, "Bye, bye, bye!" And encourage him to hit the road on his absurdly tiny feet? (104 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

Tiger..."Thevictorian doesn't have me by the tail, that's plain to see. This fake book has no redeeming value. I would, however, like to give the fake author an all-expenses-paid vacation to a small village in India, near where my relatives live."

Shere Khan..."Yes, please. Come for a visit, Thevictorian. I will welcome you with open...ah...arms. Yes, that's right. I am not much of a reader, but I can devour a...um...fake book like nobody's business. Bring me one of your fake books, won't you? I'll make sure you get a lot of publicity."

Tony the Tiger..."It GRATES! This fake book gets on your nerves and makes you miserable. The fake author is obviously a flake, and not the good kind."

Eye of the Tiger..."There's no thrill in reading this fake book. I do not see Thevictorian as a survivor in the cut-throat publishing world. She seeks glory, yet has no passion."

Cat's Eye Glasses..."I will dash myself into a million little pieces before I let anybody who is visually challenged read a book by this fake author."

Woodsy Owl..."Give a hoot, give Val the boot! Kick this fake author out of you neck of the woods. No more trees should die to perpetuate Thevictorian's rotting career."

Every Owl Who Ever Hooted..."I would spin my head around backwards, faster than a young Linda Blair in The Exorcist, to avoid reading a single word of this fake book. It makes me want to loose my pellet!"

Great Horned Owl..."I am watching Thevictorian like a hawk, with my eagle eyes, to make sure her career is over before it gets started. It is clear that she is not talonted in the least. If I was Thevictorian, I would seek the cover of darkness and stay there.

Night Owl..."You've gotta get up pretty early in the morning to fool people into reading this fake book. I'm just not up for it." 

Barn Owl..."Thevictorian has lofty expectations, but she's about as powerful as a mouse fart when it comes to selling this fake book. It doesn't take a weathervane to see which way the wind blows. Her career is stalled, and she is unstable."