Friday, Hick went to Walmart to buy his soda. It's cheaper there than at the store, and he also needed dog food. And apparently, a package of Oreos that never crossed our threshold. When I inquired, and asked if he understood the significance of diet in living with diabetes, Hick exclaimed and proclaimed, "I share them with customers and my buddies at the locker, Val!" Uh huh. Wouldn't most of you accept a random Oreo from a guy running a flea market stand?
Anyhoo, Hick had asked if I wanted anything from Walmart. Since I had not yet found a candy aisle at 10Box, I told him to get some Twizzlers. You know, the red "licorice" that some hillbillies like us prefer over "Red Vines," which I've never seen in this area.
Of course that meant I would discover the candy aisle that very day at 10Box, though I had been looking for it since last October. I picked up a package of Twizzlers, in case Hick was unable to find them at Walmart.
I'm sure you have already figured out what happened. Hick came through the kitchen door as I was scratching my first lottery ticket. Yes, I had stopped when I heard him on the porch. I'm not letting his bad luck interfere with my potential winnings!
Hick set down four 6-packs of soda, then removed a pack of Twizzlers from a plastic bag, and set it right in front of me, in the space I use for scratching scratchers. What's the deal with you guys? Why must you fill any open space with your "gifts?" Just like a cat leaving a dead mouse in front of the door. Hick has ALWAYS done that. Like putting his 6-pack of soda in the space I cleared on the top shelf of FRIG II, for the big pot of soup or chili or beans.
Anyhoo, Hick had outdone himself this time. Just like thinking the giant pair of gloves he found in the hall closet were obviously mine, Hick figured I wanted a giant package of Twizzlers.
I had bought the standard pack of Twizzlers. A 1 lb package. But Hick had to double my efforts, and provide a 2 lb bag of Twizzlers! The candies themselves are the exact same size, but Hick's package (heh, heh) is longer and wider. Let the record show that I eat a single Twizzler after supper. And that if I want some as a treat, I take three to consume at the short couch while watching TV. These Twizzlers will last a while. Unless Hick plans to have some.
I'm not complaining about the big bag. Just the idea that Hick believed I needed EXTRA Twizzlers. It's always better to have too may Twizzlers than too few!
HeWho will try to hand me something when my hands are occupied. Like breading ckicken to fry and he will stand impatiently wait for me to take the mail from his outstretched hand! When I tell him to just put it down he acts offended that I did not appreciate his delivery method! Idiot. I am a big fan of Red Vines. They are hard to find. $ Tree is the only place that has them around here and some of those stores don't stock them. Three is a snack? Not for me, I want a fist full!
ReplyDeleteI am quite familiar with the "hand-off" pouting. It's like Hick is oblivious to any task I am doing at the moment. He just needs to get his hands empty RIGHT THEN.
DeleteI choose three Twizzlers, because I am too lazy to chew any longer than that many take!
Tommy decided to buy me Chips Ahoy because he knows I love them, and I was ill. So, he brought the Family Pack or whatever the largest size was. He was being generous and trying to please me, but that will just kill me sooner. Maybe that was what Hick was doing. I can see how it would not be a good thing.
ReplyDeleteSee there? It's right in your explanation about your cookies. THIS is why I'm pretty sure Hick is trying to KILL ME! At least he can't do it with these Twizzlers, because I'd likely develop TMJ and throw out a jaw before I could overdose on them.
DeleteI figure Hick will join me in devouring these Twizzlers, so I'll survive for him to try killing me another day.
Mrs C loves Twizzlers, me not so much. She doesn't even need to hide them under a towel.
ReplyDeleteGood to know. Mrs C will not go to grab her last Twizzler that she has been saving, and find it GONE!
DeleteI used to love black licorice jelly beans but Judy taught me they're bad for my health for some reason so I've quit eating them. Plus I can never seem to find them in any store anymore.
ReplyDeleteBlack licorice raises blood pressure. Kudos to Judy for saving your health. I LOVE black licorice, but have stopped eating it for that very reason.
DeleteHere in Australia black jelly beans are available at pharmacy counters. There's usually a little shelf right in front of where you go to pay that has baskets of goodies.
DeleteI used to find packs of "Australian-style" black licorice bites at Walgreen's pharmacy over in Bill-Paying Town. Not the jelly beans, though.
DeleteI think he got the big pack so you wouldn't need to ask him again too soon. But now you have enough to last at least until, well I was going to say Easter, but that may be too far.
ReplyDeleteI think he bought the big pack because he wanted the big pack! I don't think it will last until Easter, unless Hick forgets about the Twizzlers.
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