Pardon me while I do some cheerleading for my ability to read mens and educate people.
On the way to town Thursday, I met Hick in SilverRedO, down on the gravel road beside the creek. Of course he stopped. I was kind of in a hurry to get past two schools before dismissal time. Yet Hick wanted to sit and jaw at me. Literally. He was working his jaw overtime as he talked. Even when his words had ceased, his jaw was still moving.
"What's in your mouth? What are you eating?"
"Nothin'."
"Oh, come on!"
"Just this..."
Hick held up a bag. Red plastic with some generic writing in white.
"I have no idea what that is. Just tell me."
"Casey's was givin' 'em away."
"What?"
"It's gummi bears."
"Giving away, huh? A special for diabetics?"
"Uh huh. They had a bunch of chips, too."
"Did you get some?"
"No."
"I can't believe you! The Pony goes through chips like a stray dog through a turn-over garbage can!"
"I only got the gummi bears."
I'm pretty sure I would never have heard anything about the gummi bears if I hadn't caught Hick in the act of chewing like a dog with peanut butter on its tongue. Smuggling them home. It sounded like he had several crinkly bags on the truck seat. He must have taken a big handful before he rounded the bend and saw T-Hoe. Gummi bears cannot be rushed.
Let the record show that no gummi bear has crossed the threshold. I suppose Hick is saving them all for himself.
I'm gobsmacked! All for him and none for anyone else? And no chips for The pony! Shame, Shame, Shame.
ReplyDeleteYeah! How hard is it to pick up a couple FREE bags of chips while you're getting free gummi bears? Which The Pony also likes.
DeleteIn other news, Hick got a whole box of green apples (Granny Smith, I think, firm and tart) FREE from The Ponytail Guy. He's driving them around in SilverRedO.
At least he brought a bag of them in the house when I asked. When they're gone, I think he'll bring in more. I'm afraid it's not good for them to sit in a truck parked in the sun.
In the big city they are warning parents to warn kids that gummi bears contain more than sugar of you know what I mean. Did Hick come home mellow?
ReplyDeleteIF ONLY Hick had been mellow! Hick's gummi bears were in a sealed bag. I saw the ragged edge where he had ripped it open down the front (good thing they stick together), when he held it up. So Hick's gummi bears were uninfused.
DeleteI can't even comment. Your cheerleader riff has nudged several years of Pop Warner Football and their cheerleaders from the deep recesses of my cerebellum. It did teach me how to spell aggressive a-g-g--r-e-s-s-i-v-e aggressive.
ReplyDeleteI've got spirit, how 'bout you? Let's move on to baseball. Hey, batter batter, do you want a pitcher or a belly-itcher?
DeleteGreed!! When I buy junk food, I share! Except for chocolate, HeWho can have it all.
ReplyDeleteYou are obviously a better sharer than Hick. I count myself lucky if he limits himself to not-sharing, and doesn't also help himself to MY stuff without asking.
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