Thursday, October 17, 2019

In Case Anyone Doubts That Val Lives In Outer Hooterville

Once again, Val had the nerve to assert her customership, and interrupt a lengthy conversation between a cashier and the customer ahead of her. This time, it was in the Backroads Country Mart. I leaned on my cart, and refrained from tapping my toe. I DID eavesdrop. It's not like they were keeping it hush-hush.

This is the oldest cashier, who works the short line. Sometimes she's the only one working. Hick has befriended her. He says she's 81 years old. How he knows that is a mystery. Surely he didn't ASK her age! Or cut her open to count the rings. She has a really gruff voice due to some kind of surgery many years ago. She does not look 81.

CASHIER: "I'm waiting for animal control to come back. They took seven raccoons and two possums."

CUSTOMER: "Did she have babies?"

CASHIER: "Uh huh."

CUSTOMER: "Coons are crazy about protecting their babies!"

CASHIER: "I just want to sit on my front porch and relax, without raccoons running up and biting me."

Once the customer grudgingly wheeled her cart out of the way, I tried to be friendly to the cashier.

VAL: SEVEN raccoons! That's a lot."

CASHIER: "I got bit. Had to have the rabies shot. After the second raccoon bit me, the county health center said the shot is good for three months."

Alrighty then! I, myself, might have quit sitting on the porch after being bitten the first time. But what do I know? I was bitten by a chipmunk, and the county health center didn't know if they carry rabies, so just gave me a tetanus booster.

I would swear that CASHIER told CUSTOMER that animal control  "...let them go over the state line."

Surely that's a mistake. That would be quite a drive north, south, or west to a state line. East runs into the Missisippi River about 30 miles over, as the crow flies, and I wouldn't call it a state line. Or think a raccoon-capturer would toss raccoons into Old Man River.

Maybe I need to work on my eavesdropping skills.

As I typed up this tale, I thought of another one that had slipped my mind.

10 comments:

  1. WE are far from Hooterville, but I checked my backyard security camera last week and it had been set off by a raccoon. Cute thing, but not if you see them in the daytime, then beware.

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    1. I'm pretty sure that if you'd seen one in person, you'd use your city-smarts to skedaddle back inside, rather than sit and get bit. TWICE!

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  2. They are cute little biters, for sure. Once bitten twice shy or something like that?

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    1. I bet that's where that expression came from! An 81-year-old cashier being bitten by raccoons on her porch! Yeah. That's the ticket...

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  3. Blogger Steve, in London, set up his night vision, motion controlled camera and set out a boiled egg as bait. When he reviewed the night's video he saw a squirrel who ignored the egg, a bushy tailed fox who ate the whole thing rather daintily, and finally a rat with sealed beam headlight eyes. I'd keep my doors locked.

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    1. Ooh! Raccoons have those little HANDS. I might need the doorknob protectors that keep toddlers from turning them! I will NOT be setting out any boiled eggs. Sometimes we get a raccoon on the porch (or a possum) eating the dry dog food that our over-snacked dogs leave in their pan.

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  4. I'd give up sitting on the porch too, if it was something I didn't do often anyway. But if I enjoyed sitting on the porch, maybe watching a sunset, reading a book, just chillin', then I'd be calling animal control and helping them catch the bitey little buggers. Or perhaps I'd screen the porch so they couldn't get to me.

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    1. I sit on the porch with the dogs, which seems to discourage any racoonigans.

      Hick said this cashier lady has a LOT of cats. She rescues them. So there might be cat food sitting around to temp the raccoons. Or cats AS FOOD, that tempt them.

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  5. Well we have rattle snakes and skunks I don't know what is worse. We had a rattlesnake laying lengthwise under our two andorandack (sp) chairs on the front porch. I always look now.

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    1. We have them as well, but at least the skunks don't come up on the porch (that I know of), and the dogs have never tangled with one. We just smell them occasionally, or see a carcass on the road.

      Haven't seen a copperhead around here in a while. We used to find them on the gravel driveway in the evening. I encountered a bunch of BABY copperheads on the asphalt trail at the state park, where I used to walk after school. I thought they were so cute, until they started striking at the sole of my New Balance.

      You might want to look TWICE under the chair! I'd freak out if I saw a rattlesnake on my porch. OR a skunk!

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