Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Comeuppance Is Not Just a Literary Plot Element

Last night, as I was catching up on my reading and commenting, I saw that blog buddy Joe H had a minor crisis with a lost credit card.

Always the helpful blogfriend, Val was just warming up her fingers to type smugly that SHE always leaves HER credit card laying on the speaker next to her New Delly. Yes. Val IS so old that she has an ancient desktop computer, with actual speakers hooked up to it.

Anyhoo...as I was readying my words in my head, I glanced over to reaffirm my smugness by casting eyes upon my own credit card, that little blue piece of plastic for some reason labeled slate...and found NOTHING! Nothing but the dusty top of my speaker with the six flash drives lounging atop it like post-carcass-feast lions lurking without their pride-leader, my credit card!

CRAP!

What in the Not-Heaven? I never take it upstairs. Unless we're going on a trip. And Casinopalooza 2 is still two weeks off. Wait! That's it! Seven hours ago, I called to make reservations. That's another story entirely! It may have to wait and be pre-programmed to run while I'm away. Not sure I'm taking Shiba with me on this trip.

Anyhoo...I started to think about how that reservation transpired...and recalled how I wrote down my information on my lunch plate (all about being a friend to the environment here in the dark basement lair) and then set it aside with the pertinent details. So my credit card would probably be with that plate...

Aha! There it was. With my important papers, on top of my New Delly computer tower. The tower that Genius built. Uh huh. There was the plate. And on top of the plate, the oversize postcard thingy I need to take when I check in. And the booklet of offers that I was discussing with my sister the ex-mayor's wife over the phone.

I picked up the plate. WHAT? No credit card! I looked under the oversize postcard. Under the booklet. NO! I lifted that plate down to desk level to look again, and my sneaky credit card did a double flip and bounced off my belly and then did a full gainer off my left thigh and ended up on the floor, up against the wall under my desktop, behind my electric heater, in a nest of dust bunnies and assorted gas station chicken crumbs.

Sigh.

The good news is...I found my credit card.

The bad news is...I had to pick up my credit card. From way under the desk. Out of the dust bunnies and gas station chicken crumbs.


It took a red plastic ruler from the early 1980s (Missouri School Measure Up!), and a heavily-suppressed gag reflex to rescue my precious plastic from its temporary resting place.

Smugness goeth before the credit card falls, I guess.

14 comments:

  1. At least you found it. Replacing a credit card is such a hassle.

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    1. I will take your word for it, and as unsmugly as possible say, "I have never had to replace one."

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  2. Well at least you found it! Or did it find you?

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    1. I think it found me, because it came out of nowhere and bounced off me as I was frantically re-searching the area I last had it.

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  3. Val--The last time I was incredibly smug and said, "I NEVER have gotten a speeding ticket... I even got out of one in a school zone in Calverton Park," (if you know that speed-trap of a township) I got one... for doing 78 in a 60 while jamming to "Uptown Funk." Thankfully the cop only wrote it for 70, and also thankfully, he got me after I'd only been on the highway for less than a minute. Who knows what the speedometer would say if I'd been tooling along even longer...

    Yeah, smugness (like karma) will bite you in the butt.

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    1. Well, Madam, it's a good thing you weren't Uptown Funking around in Haddonfield, Illinois. Because Jamie Lee Curtis's smart-mouth friend might have yelled, "Hey, Jerk! Speed kills!"

      From the original "Halloween." In case you think I'm making up an idle threat.

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  4. At least you didn't cancel it first

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    1. Yes! Thanks to your public service announcement about your own lost(and found)card.

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  5. I wonder Val, does the credit card now smell like gas station chicken crumbs? if so you know that you can never get that smell out.

    At least Joe talked you out of canceling it, after reading you there I thought I'd come here, glad I did.

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    1. Mmm...gas station chicken crumbs! I'll have to give it a sniff and find out.

      Welcome, Jimmy. I hope that you are not thin-skinned. We tell it like it is here. Okay...mainly it's ME telling people what I think. I'm pretty good at dishing it out, and sometimes, I can even take it.

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  6. I have a pocket habit ... I stuff my money and credit card in my pocket and forget it is there until I find it in the washer. The good thing is that it drives HeWho nuts!

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    1. Heh, heh! There's your silver lining!

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  7. My big guy laid his wallet on a dresser in our guest room, when he was replacing a light bulb. Because he is a tightwad and heard the Europeans heat only necessary rooms, he closed the door to the room not in use. Then he panicked a a day later when he went to use his credit card. Canceled every thing. And then I found his wallet. he was too embarrassed to admit he's not European.

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    Replies
    1. Well, at least you saved him from being a day late and a credit card short!

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