Friday, December 23, 2016

Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #40 "His Tuberosity Got the Best of Me"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week, you'll be all eyes when you read the tale of Tater Hill, a sleepy burg with all the starch taken out of its population by an unplanned propagation. Reserve your copy now to find out if there's going to be a fryin' pan wedding. Don't delay! Eager readers are hungry for Val's newest fake book, and they're going to eat this one up! Get it while it's hot, and don't rely on playing ketchup! Heh, heh. I crack myself up sometimes.



His Tuberosity Got the Best of Me


Poutine had chosen Old Vienna over Cape Cod for her date with Spud. He Ruffled her the right way, and made her feel all a-Pringle. She knew it wasn't Wise for Spud to invite her to a steak dinner, and the way he buttered her up and helped her off with her jacket should have set off an alarm. Poutine didn't want Spud to think she was just another Lays. Herr's mother raised her better. But now Poutine and Spud are in a fine kettle of chips.

Poutine wakes up with a peeling forehead, no memory of anything since her date, and six newborn small fries. The townspeople of Tater Hill are all eyes. Will salty Spud waffle, and spiral out of control? Or will he and Poutine hash it out and raise their tots in Tater Hill?
(138 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book


Hot Potato..."It's absolutely not true that I'm the father, even though most of the fairer sex find me irresistible."

Grandma OreIda..."I hear the father is French. Such a scandal for our little town! This fake author should make like a mime in print."

Twice-Baked..."Whoa, man! How'd all them small fry come outta that new potato? I must be hallucinatin'. Whadda ya mean this is a book? A BOOK? That author is messed up."

Sweet Potato..."Aww, look at those babies! Aren't they just the cutest things? I am so glad Thevictorian shared their story with us. Everything happens for a reason."

Klondike Rose..."It'll be a cold day in the Yukon when I buy another fake book by Thevictorian! I love it! I can hardly wait for this author to compost another story!"

Loaded Baked Potato..."I'm not just seein' double, I'm seein' triple double! This fake author oughta have a warning label."

Potato Skins..."This fake book made us feel all hollow inside. Like we needed something to stuff the empty space left by reading such a thin plot. This fake author is not very a-peeling."

Tater Tots..."Yay! New playmates! The adult theme of this fake book is way over our heads, so Thevictorian might also be able invade the youth market with her salty tale."

Russet..."I am boiling mad that this fake author had the nerve to serve up this rotten story. It was a real eye-opener. Thevictorian should be whipped."

Mr. Potato Head..."If only someone would pluck out my eyes so I don't have to read another word! This author is faker than ME!"

12 comments:

  1. I count 27 potato puns, not counting reviewers. How many did I miss.

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    1. I don't know. I don't have a count, and the holiday limits my devotion to my commenters.

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  2. Your puns are fun, and I'm amazed at how effortlessly you do this.

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    1. They come to me in a rush. In this instance, on my way to town Friday morning. I had to pull over twice to jot down cryptic notes.

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  3. One of your best fake books; I'd like to fake order one to add to my fake collection!!

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  4. Much too starchy for my taste. Wait a minute; I like starchy. Merry Christmas.

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps you'd like to fake-order several more for stocking stuffers?

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  5. As usual, your post is full of puns.

    Or your pot is full of punts.

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    Replies
    1. No need to bring my pot into the discussion, Madam.

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  6. I want some potato chips, Lay's, plain.

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    Replies
    1. I LOVE Lay's plain. They're so tender. But I don't eat the plain chips plain. I use Hidden Valley Ranch Dip made by stirring the powder mix into a tub of sour cream from Save A Lot.

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