But WAIT! You have to fake-buy the fake book first! Check under the couch cushions, the floorboards of your car, and the pavement of convenience store parking lots. Sorry, that little metal coin flap of pay telephones is probably no longer an option. You can always set up a Go Fund Me account, though. So let's get crackin' so you can get to fake-buyin'!
The Art of Manfred Hickcock
Manny's name is synonymous with suspense. His talent for building themed sheds is lauded worldwide. Sweden, France, Germany, Wales, Brazil, North Carolina, New Jersey...Manny has left his mark. What shack will Manny build next? World citizens are on the edge of their seats.
Manny's most famous work, "The Chickens," resembles a chicken house, with chickens rigged on wires to swoop at your head during entry and exit. Next in line is "Sicko." This shed displays knives, and is located right beside an outdoor shower. A "REE-REE-REE" sound plays if you pass a sensor. Manny's current project is "Rear Pane." This hobby house has a window that won't stay closed, and a low-tech surveillance system. No matter where you are in (or near) Rear Pane, there are eyes on you.
Each fake book comes with two tickets for the South by Southeast Tour, Manny's traveling shack show. You won't be disappointed. (150 words)
Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake BookA Little Birdie..."I am famous for spreading the word, and let me tell YOU, this fake book is nothing you want to read. Fake or otherwise."
Polly..."I don't want THIS cracker...writing any more fake books!"
The Condor…"I spent THREE DAYS trying to read this fake book. It's a killer. And I don't mean that in a good way.”
Turducken..."This fake book is stuffed with superfluous giblets. Thevictorian needs to learn how to trim the fat."
Tweety…"I taut I taw a litewawy mattepeed. I DID'T! I DIDN'T!”
Love Birds…"We HATE this fake book!”
Steinbeck's Buzzard Pecking the Eyes Out of the Pony Gabilan..."Sorry, Gabilan. I only wish I could do this to Thevictorian, to save us from any more of her fake books."
Woodstock...<yawn>"/ \ \ / \ / \ \ ."
Four and Twenty Blackbirds…"This fake book is definitely not fit to set before a king! Thevictorian needs her nose snipped off. A round of bread and honey for anyone who can do it. Better stay out of the garden, Thevictorian!"
Kookaburra..."I sit in the old gum tree so I don't have to see this fake book OR this fake author."
Sheldon, Garfield's Friend…"I'm never coming out of this shell as long as Thevictorian is fake-writing fake books."
A Mockingbird…"Somebody kill me now! I just finished reading this fake book.”
Mockingjay..."Doo Dee Doo Dumb! I will always warn you when Thevictorian is coming out with another fake book."
Woodsy Owl…"Give a hoot, don't let Thevictorian convolute! There oughta be a law preventing this fake author from wasting our precious resources to distribute her garbage!”