Thursday, December 29, 2016

A Very Special Episode

A while back, blog buddy Bruce mentioned how he had planned to accompany his wife to his daughter's house (THREE TIMES IN ONE WEEK!), being chivalrous, you know, making sure she didn't slip and fall on the walkway...and out of the blue, she told him SHE DIDN'T REALLY NEED HIM THERE!

That's my take on it, anyway. Here's his exact quote, so as not to put words on his fingertips:

My wife was cat-sitting for the BRD and was going to make three trips over to her house in a week's time. On the first visit I insisted on going with her because of the irregular sidewalk and steps outside the BRD's home. I was CONCERNED for her. Sometime during the visit she SNARLED at me..."See, that's why I didn't want you to come along. This is my only chance to get away from you for awhile!" Women. I just don't understand them.

Yes, it's just like Hick always telling me that he's HELPING me, when the only help I really want is for him to leave me alone.

Here's the thing, blog buddy Bruce...

You guys adore us SO MUCH that you want to spend every spare moment with us. To constantly bask in our presence. Whether it's so you know where we are at all times and who we're with, whether it's because you might need to hand us something like used gum or a turnpike ticket or change from the drive-thru window, or whether it's because you need someone to admire everything you do, or whether you are genuinely trying to protect us...we are over it!

We’ve spent a lifetime hunting you down, flattering you enough to convince you to marry us, feeding and dressing and grooming you, raising your kids, telling you when to breathe in/breathe out…and now we just want some ME time. To not answer to anyone, not be anyone’s gofer, not be anyone's cheering section.

Oh, we still love you. We just don't see the need to drench you with our love 24/7 when we are both retired and around the house all day.

Maybe the best thing we could do to make you understand our predicament is to point you towards the Julia Sugarbaker speech to Ray Don. Granted, Julia was geared more toward the single man, but concepts still apply. The main point being..."sometimes we like talking just to each other, and sometimes we like just being alone."

It's not you, it's us.

I sure hope Hick remembers watching Designing Women.

11 comments:

  1. Val--If only we each had our own Julia Sugarbaker. She could tear into our husbands, and set them straight in no uncertain terms.

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    1. AND we could make fun of her when she mooned Atlanta by walking down the fashion show runway with her skirt tucked into her pantyhose!

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    2. I am not proud of it, but back in the 80's I had my very own moment with my butt on display. I was a district manager for a fabric chain on the east coast. I was in my Dothan, Alabama store when I was unaware that I had tucked the end of my full skirted dress in my pantyhose. I was teaching a new clerk how to drape fabric bolts and we were working on a round table in the window of the store. It was evening and the lights were on, you know to showcase me! A little old black lady came up behind me and whispered in my ear, "Get your dress outta your butt!" My life of mishaps did not begin in a campground.

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    3. Well, at least your butt received the proper showcase...

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  2. Mrs C. misses my weekly babysitting trip, it was her day off. Now I disappear into MY basement lair to watch TV, play guitar and hit the Total Gym so she gets her time off.

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    1. Joeh--

      Just so you know: staying in the basement does NOT count. You're still in the house. You need to vacate the house, preferably crossing several state lines, for her day "off" to count.

      Get involved in the scouts. Go on week-long camping trips. Volunteer at the local prison during times when a lock-down seems likely. Take a slow boat to China. Doing any of those things would be most appreciated by Mrs. C, I imagine...

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    2. At least you're TRYING! Let the record show that I will be satisfied if Hick stays OUT OF the basement. Preferably out of the house...but I can deal with hearing him tromping mud all over the upstairs.

      I think Sioux sets her expectations a bit high...

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  3. Oh, no, hoist on my own petard! If you ain't a literary cuss like me you may have to Google that.

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    1. Thank you, kind sir, for directing me to my estranged BFF Google...but I am well-versed enough in petards to make it through an ordinary day.

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  4. One would think Hick has enough sheds to while away the hours in ....

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    1. And if NOT, he'll build another one!

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