Val is Relieved That No Scandal Broke on Election Eve

I just got off the phone with the president.

Yep. He was leaving Goodwill, where he bought some beer glasses, a mask to hang in The Sword Shack, and a bear holding a fish.

Hick had the day off work Friday, to travel to his election. It was a meeting of an organization that deals with plant safety. Not green plants, like those that undergo photosynthesis. Work plants. Factories. I'll not reveal their acronym, but let the record show that Hick was the incumbent in this election. He didn't even tell me he was running until Friday morning at 6:10, the earliest I could get him out the door.

"Where, exactly, are you going?"

"To my safety meeting. I'm running for president again. This is the meeting where we vote."

"Are you campaigning?"

"Not really."

"Do you want to win?"

"Yeah, I want to win! Because if I'm president, I get off work to go to all the meetings. And work can't say a word. But if I'm only a member, they might not want me to go to every meeting."

"Okay. Good luck. I hope you win."

"I have six ballots out in the car that I'm taking."

"Are you stuffing the ballot box? Won't you need more than six?"

"I'm not stuffing the ballot box, Val. People have given me their ballots to take and turn in. Mine is one of them."

If I was his opponent, I might look askance at Hick, carrying in six ballots. When he returned home Friday evening, I had to ASK him if he won the election.

"Yeah. I won. By three votes. There was nineteen votes all together."

You'd think he could have mustered more excitement over such a narrow victory. Nineteen votes, he won by three...that means it was 8 to 11. Hick said his opponent was a woman, younger than him, but still old, who works in personnel at a factory that makes spices.

No word on Hick's platform, or what promises he made his electorate.