The Pony Gives a Hand

Let the record show that The Pony is more than likely setting man’s communication skills back by tens of thousands of years. He has never been the loquacious sort, like his dad, and like Genius, and like Val on the printed page. Nope. He’s reserved. A thinker. Not one to offer his opinion.

So the other night, I asked him if the gold rush started at Sutter’s Mill. Because The Pony is quicker than my BFF Google, and history is my worst subject. My Achilles heel, right after geography. Which you might have suspected, after that whole England is an island! ordeal.

The Pony was in my office for something. I’m sure I called him in. Otherwise he does not rise from his couch and laptop, where he is perfecting the boneless physique as his muscles and skeleton atrophy. In answer to my question, he held up his right hand, palm toward me, on the way out the door. On that palm, written in ink, was the word YES.

“What in the world are you doing? Did you have that on there all day at school?”

“Uh huh. I’ve found that it saves time. And my left one says NO.” He showed me.

Later, when I had moved to the recliner to watch Survivor and Cutthroat Kitchen (superstar sabotage edition!), I forgot about the palm language.

Aarti, one of the celebrity chefs, was given no sabotages the first round, but was having difficulty getting all the components ready for her proper English breakfast. Being of Indian descent, and having attended a British boarding school, she had the concept down pat. She was running out of time, and I think she meant to say, “I have all these balls in the air,” like she was trying to juggle those components and plate them at the right time. But she started out saying, “I’m holding all these balls…” and I didn’t hear the rest, because I started hooting at The Pony.

“Heh, heh! She’s holding all those balls! And she’s not even in Little Caesars, and they’re not YOUR balls! Heh, heh! ‘I’m holding all these balls!’”

The Pony gave turned his attention from his laptop, and stared me down with a droll expression. He raised his left hand, palm out. NO. But then he elaborated.

“You are not allowed to say that. Ever.”

Kind of like he told me after the Little Caesar’s incident. Without the hand.

As if that will be effective.