A Hick Walks Into a Lawyer's Office

Hick spent a half hour talking to our lawyer on Tuesday morning, explaining the Double Hovel flip house property, and how he had asked the city for a variance to split it into two separate lots. The first thing Lawyer asked Hick was:

"Are you sure I'M the one you want to do this? Mayor does not like me. In the past, I've been involved in a property case with a relative of Mayor's, on the opposing side. Mayor has asked me twice to represent him in other matters, and I declined. I don't want it to go against your best interests, just because I'M the lawyer you chose."

"Yes. I've done business with you all these years, and I don't think this will be a problem. I told Mayor I was going to talk to you, and he said he would be interested in what you had to say."

Hick gave Lawyer the meager paperwork that we have. A copy of the blank form to request a variance. He did not have a copy of the one we filled out to accompany the $125 fee he paid at city hall. Hick had a copy of the letter he handed out. The five pages of city codes given to him by the gal at city hall, explaining how to request a variance. Also a sticky note written by the city hall gal with the date and time of Hick's meeting. 

Lawyer said he would start with a phone call to the city attorney to see what the process might be. Then he would call Mayor. He wanted the filled-out request form. So Hick called Mayor, who said he'd have the office get it ready for Hick to pick up later in the day.

Hick is cautiously optimistic that he might get a new meeting. When he got the completed form to drop off at Lawyer's office, there was NOTHING written at the bottom in the section for Action Taken by Board of Adjustment.

Hick thinks Lawyer might ask for the minutes of the original meeting. If the gal recording put everything in, it would show that Hick had asked about the "mystery" letter in the packet, and offered to show his letter he gave to the surrounding property owners, but was turned down for both the request and the offer.

Still, Hick shouldn't have left the meeting without something in writing, or assurance that it would be mailed to him. All he has was the unanimous vote of the board members present to deny the variance request, with reasoning that if they did it for him, they'd have to do it for everybody. Even though the five pages of papers handed out said each case would be considered on an individual basis.

Lawyer also asked why Realtor said she can't sell the houses together. Hick said Lawyer should talk to Realtor specifically, because it has to do with low- or no-down-payment loan regulations. People can't get them for a property that has potential to make money for them, such as renting the second house. Realtor said people WANT to buy the Beauty Shop, but can't afford a down payment. Splitting the houses would allow potential buyers to get these loans.

We'll see what develops...

Not the Salad Days, but the Salads Day

I asked Hick to bring me a Senior Center lunch for my supper on Tuesday. They were having chicken salad. I love their chicken salad! Actually, the rest of the menu was not as appealing:

Chicken Salad Sandwich

3 Bean Salad

Potato Salad

Fruit Fluff

As I was telling The Pony on our 6:00 a.m. phone call, thrilled with anticipation, The Pony said: "That's a lot of salads." I agreed.

As I type this, I have not yet consumed my requested meal.  I did take a picture:

Hick said they gave everybody a LOT because not many people came to lunch. He brought home part of his chicken salad, a roll, and some potato salad. I volunteered Hick both of my rolls, which he ate for supper, and my potato salad, which he said to save for another night.

I plan to have some chicken salad on Nutty Oat Bread toast, and to try that 3 Bean Salad, of which I'm not a fan. I'm thinking of adding a little French Onion Dip, and sprinkle some Crispy Onions on top. The only Potato Salad I like is my own, so I'm not even tasting this. Hick also got my Fruit Fluff.

I think the fruit part of the Fruit Fluff might have been peaches. Not sure.

This might not be the best meal the Senior Center has offered, but it sure beats Monday's lunch. Even Hick was not a fan. "We had bologna and cheese on a tortilla." The official menu said they were serving:

Turkey & Cheese Wrap

Pasta Salad

Cottage Cheese

Fruit Cocktail w/Marshmallows

Anyhoo... I will have Chicken Salad left for Wednesday night's supper, when Hick won't be here. Hick is going to PLAY BINGO again! Maybe he'll send me a picture.

Next Stop, Litigation?

The tangled web of the Double Hovel flip house split needs to be unraveled. Unfortunately, the whole process of our request for a variance resembles a 1970s public service announcement showing a spider's LSD-induced structure!

You may recall that Hick was told by the city building inspector that he may be able to split the property if he got a variance from the Planning and Zoning Commission. Hick went to city hall, and got the necessary paperwork. He followed the instructions on the packet of papers the gal there gave him, and handed out his letter accordingly. Went to the meeting, and the variance was denied. That was January 15.

The mayor of that city contacted Hick for a meeting right after the recent election. Same mayor, some different members on the Commission. He said he'd call Hick after he checked into some details. That call came Thursday night.

Mayor said that it appears Hick's meeting back then was with the Board of Adjustment! What in the Not-Heaven? This was news to Hick, who said no, it was the Planning and Zoning Commission. "You were there!" said Hick.

Mayor said he remembered, but that he was sitting in the "audience" section, and would have been sitting together with the Commission if the meeting had been with them. Hick said they never announced what body was meeting. They only called roll, and one of his buddies who says he's on the Planning and Zoning Commission was absent that night. Well. Hick asked the buddy on Friday at lunch, who said now that he thinks of it, he is indeed on the Board of Adjustment.

Are you getting caught up in this tangle yet?

Mayor told Hick that if it had been the Planning and Zoning Commission, the verdict could be overturned with a certain vote. But that since it was a decision by the Board of Adjustment, following proper procedures, that the only way would be through the courts.

Hick said that he did NOT think "proper procedures" were followed. Since Hick never got any paperwork, his letter was not given to the board, the building inspector was not contacted for info, and all Hick had at the end of the meeting was just a verbal rejection of his request. So how could he have anything to appeal, even if he knew he had that right? How do you appeal a verbal decision? And as for "proper procedures," how did Hick's new enemy DENIZEN get a look at the packet of info for the hearing, and Hick did not?

In going back through the set of five pages of the city codes that Hick was given by the gal at city hall, Hick found references to both the Planning and Zoning Commission, and the Board of Adjustment. Plus a paragraph about appealing a decision within 20 days. The form Hick had to submit with our $125 fee to request a variance had a place the bottom for "Action Taken by Board of Adjustment." Yet Hick never received even that form back with a decision. 

Hick discussed these items with Mayor. They are on friendly terms. After all, Mayor contacted Hick to try to help him. Mayor said that legal options tend to get expensive. Yes. But as Hick said, he's spending around $100 a month on water and electric, without being able to split the houses and sell them. So he might as well spend money on a lawyer. 

I told Hick that maybe Mayor is worried about the city's legal fees. Hick says they have a lawyer on retainer. I said surely they would have to pay their lawyer by the hour to represent them in court. He is, after all, the MAYOR, and has to look out for city interests. So maybe he was trying to discourage Hick from taking this action to overturn the decision. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Both parties have to look out for their best interests.

Anyhoo... Hick went by our lawyer's office Friday afternoon, and got an appointment to discuss the matter on Tuesday. Just to see if there's a chance the variance issue might be re-opened. As Hick said, he did everything instructed on the procedures handed out to him by the gal at city hall. Seems like there was some confusion about what was actually going on. Hick missed an appeal deadline. Then again, he wouldn't have needed it if he was talking to the group he THOUGHT he was talking to about the variance. 

Tangled web, I tell you! Both parties made some fumbles. Hick has no beef with the city. He just wants to pursue all options to divide this property.

It doesn't hurt to ask a lawyer if we have any recourse concerning the decision on the variance. The only hurt is the pocketbook, with about a month-and-a-half of utility payments spent to meet with the lawyer.

Hick Attempts to Set a Record Straight

Val knows nothing about social media. Doesn't have any accounts. Doesn't want them. Used to be, that was a condition of her employment. Teachers can't be voicing their opinions to the public, heh, heh. Back then, that was the policy at my workplace. It doesn't mean all teachers obeyed that directive. 

Anyhoo... Hick uses Facebook to promote his business. To find bargains to sell, and bargains to fix up our flip houses. He's always getting notifications. I guess they might come from key words he has used. Like I said, I don't' know how all that works.

 

Anyhoo... a couple days ago, Hick saw that a gal had made a post complaining about the Senior Center apartments. To the best of my recollection, she said the apartments were dirty and full of mold and everybody knows it. Of course Hick took objection. He left her a message.

"I said that I have been the manager of those apartments for two months. That my phone number is posted on the door of my office there, and that I can be reached any time if there is a problem. That I have had no complaints about the condition of the apartments.

So then she put up a comment that 'He's only saying that to make me look bad.' Then she blocked me! So I don't know what else she might be saying.

I was up there at the apartments later, and two old ladies was moving out. I mentioned that Facebook and asked if they had any problem with mold. It was a mother and daughter. They said they was just moving because they wanted to get a two-bedroom apartment. They got one over in Bill-Paying Town. And the one old lady said about the Facebook: 'I'm so sorry you had to read that. It's my granddaughter. She does things like this all the time.'"

"Huh. So I wonder if they had said anything about mold?"

"I don't know. They didn't act like it. They just wanted a bigger apartment."

Hick can't go chasing down every person who might insult him. That's a thing teachers know all too well. Sometimes, what you don't know can't upset you...

One More Service Hick Provides

Right after Hick performed his refrigerator rescue for a tenant at his new workplace, he had another business phone call.

"It was some old guy over in Illinois. He's wanting to rent an apartment. Asked if I could show it to him at 7:00 tonight. I said no, that wasn't convenient, but that I could show it on Monday morning. He said he has to get out of the place he's living now, and wanted to come look at the apartment and move in. I told him it doesn't work that way. That I'll show him the apartment, and if he's interested, he can fill out an application, and then it will get reviewed. It doesn't happen instantly."

"He probably doesn't have anywhere to go. Like maybe he's in a medical place, and his insurance days are up. Or what if he's getting kicked out for not paying rent?"

"You never know. I feel bad for the guy, but he can't just say he'll take it, and move in. He said he was planning to come down here, get some money, and stay in a motel until he can move in. It's not my problem. I have to follow procedure, and check out applications before I rent something."

I don't think it's unreasonable to refuse to show an apartment at 7:00 p.m. on a Friday, upon several hours' notice. Hick gave the guy an appointment for the next business day, during normal business hours. His application may prove acceptable, or it may not. That's why they pay Hick the little bucks, for this service.

On Call with Handy Man Hick

Hick was at his Friday afternoon bull session with his buddies when he got a call from a resident of the Senior Center apartments.

"It was an old lady who said her refrigerator wasn't working. And that she'd just gotten back from shopping with a friend. She didn't want her food to go bad. I told her I'd be there in 20 minutes."

Let the record show that Hick was still in town. Another town, granted, from where the Senior Center is located. But towns around here are often right next to each other. Travel time was about 5 minutes. It may have taken Hick five more minutes to park and go upstairs to that lady's apartment. I suppose he was wrapping up his bull-shooting before leaving. After all, it was not an emergency. Nobody was trapped under a refrigerator. It was not emitting sparks. Food should not spoil in 20 minutes.

"I saw the problem when I got there. The refrigerator door was not closing all the way. The lady said her son had been there helping her move some furniture. I guess he must have bumped that refrigerator. It was up against the wall, which prevented the door from closing all the way. I moved it a little bit, and it worked. I told the lady, 'See? The cool air is coming out.' She agreed. Everyone was happy, and I left."

Huh. Hold on there a minute. This didn't make sense to me. I don't doubt Hick's talents as a handy man. But I am no dummy where physics is concerned.

"Wait. I can see how being against the wall could keep a fridge door from OPENING. But closing? I don't think a door sticks out. It's flush with the side of the refrigerator. I'm looking at mine right now. Being against the wall shouldn't keep it from closing."

"It was a two-door refrigerator. The little freezer door on top, and then the refrigerator door on bottom. Maybe it was the hinge. But it wasn't closing all the way until I moved the refrigerator away from the wall a little bit."

"I'm still not seeing it. And what do you mean the cool air was coming out? Wouldn't that mean something is wrong with the fridge? Like the door isn't sealing?"

"You could feel with your hand that there was cool air coming out from the door."

"Maybe if it was open. But that shouldn't happen when it's closed!"

I did not get satisfactory answers from Hick. We know he has trouble communicating what he really means. He has no reason to make up stuff. HE'S the one who volunteered information about getting that call before he started home. It just doesn't make sense to me.

At least the resident of the Senior Center apartments was happy with Hick's "repairs."

Val Reaches Her Limit

All week, I've been getting calls on my cell phone from a number I don't recognize. Never leaves a message. Just calls five or six times a day. My phone even warns me: SCAM LIKELY. I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. Not even if they're within my area code, and with a local prefix. I figure if it's important, they'll leave a voice mail.

This call is disruptive when it comes as I am driving, or in the shower. I can't see my phone then, and worry that it might be Hick or The Pony needing something. I don't like to answer scam calls, because then the scammer knows it's an active number.

I was putting away groceries on Thursday evening, with my phone on the charger on the kitchen counter. I saw that it was THAT number again. Before my common sense could stop me, I swiped to answer that call. I did NOT use my indoor voice.

"HELLO! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME!!!"

"Hello, Val. This is Ryan. We will be inspecting roofs tomorrow--"

"WHY? Why would you inspect my roof?"

"There have been a lot of people with roof damage after the recent storms--"

"WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?"

"I'm Ryan. We will be in your area tomorrow--"

"WHY are you calling random people about their roof?"

"Val, do you know the approximate age of your roof?"

"Don't ever call me again! I don't know what kind of SCAM this is, but--"

Whoopsie! Ryan hung up on me! Can you believe that???

I know I shouldn't have answered, but this number was not getting the message that I don't answer, heh, heh! I'm tired of checking my phone to see if it's somebody important. In fact, this call comes from a couple of different numbers, but they all show up as Eminence, Missouri. Blocking one would not stop all the numbers they might use. I THINK maybe I made it clear that they won't be getting my info.

If this was a legitimate call or service, Ryan would have said who he was affiliated with. Insurance companies don't send out random crews to inspect roofs. Nor do agencies like FEMA. You have to file a claim with them. I'm pretty sure random roofers don't waste their gas money driving around to look at roofs, and give estimates to homeowners.

It sure felt good to let my feelings out. So sorry if I hurt Ryan's precious feelings. Okay. No, I'm not! And I'm pretty sure his name isn't really Ryan.