Everywhere
you turn these days, somebody is out to defraud you! Intentional or
not, I have grown tired of being bamboozled. I'm mad as Not-Heaven, and
I'm not going to take it any more!
On Thursday, I had a
visit planned with my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel, the occasion
being her birthday. Yes, the visit was after her birthday. We have
booked-up schedules, Mabel and I, what with being retired ladies of
leisure. I knew what I was getting for her gift. It required online
ordering.
HOWEVER...due to a visit planned with The Pony
over Thanksgiving week, I was leery of ordering too soon. It would not
be prudent for the present to arrive while we were away. Let's not
forget that we are only three years out from the case of Jack vs Genius's gift wallet made of Bison leather, monogrammed, with RFID blocker, from Sharper Image. AND the replacement.
When
we returned from our Thanksgiving trip on Friday evening, I knew that my order would
not go out until Monday. Knowing such, I placed my order, using 2-Day
Shipping. I knew it would be two business days. The gift would ship on
Monday and arrive on Wednesday. Easy peasy. It would be all ready to
load up in A-Cad for our luncheon visit on Thursday.
Val
plans, the USPS laughs. Wickedly. BWAH-HA-HA-ly. Monday afternoon, I got
an email that my order had shipped. It contained a tracking number.
Information on the USPS Tracking website showed that my parcel would be
delivered Wednesday, by 3:00. Easier peasier. I had a timeline, and a
way to track the progress of my order.
Wednesday, I was
around all morning, jumping up every time the dogs started baying, to
peep outside and see if perhaps the dog-shy FedEx man was quivering in
his van with my package. Or maybe it would be the more sensible UPS
driver who flies up the gravel road at 100+ mph. No wonder they sponsor a
NASCAR driver.
That's the thing, you know. Just because
the order is supposedly sent by the USPS doesn't mean the final delivery
will be by them. Or maybe it works the other way. But I know previous
packages have arrived by a combination of USPS and FedEx resources. I
just did not know for sure how this one would get here.
Anyhoo...on
Wednesday, I was only gone for one hour. From 1:00 to 2:00, to get my
magical elixir and scratchers, and a loaf of Nutty Oat Bread, two
bottles of Worcestershire Sauce, and one bottle of Honey Mustard
Dressing. I checked my mailbox for a key to the lockbox. Nope. Nothing
delivered that way. No boxes in the yard or on the porch when I got
home.
I was sitting in the La-Z-Boy when the brown UPS van
went barreling up the road at 3:10. I decided to keep an eye out, in
case it made a stop here on the way out. I had been waiting 7 minutes
for its return when the phone rang. Hick, of course. Which pulled me
away from the window to answer the landline. When I got back to my post,
I didn't know if UPS had escaped. The dogs were silent, snoozing in the
front yard. I waited another 35 minutes. That UPS van did not appear. I
was sure it had left the compound.
Anyhoo...further
checking after 6:00 p.m. still said that my package was being delivered
by 3:00 p.m. But the details showed that it had been in the city at 9:59
a.m., and arrived down in New Favorite Casino Town at 11:59 a.m. Huh.
for sure it hadn't made it to my house by 3:00.
Thursday
morning, while getting ready to leave for Mabel's birthday lunch without
a gift, I saw that my package was now OUT FOR DELIVERY. Of course it
wasn't at our mailbox by the time we left. I figured it would be there
by the time I got home. But it WASN'T! All I had was an orange note to
PICK IT UP AT THE POST OFFICE the next day!
Am I wrong to be mad as
Not-Heaven over this shoddy delivery for which I paid a pretty penny to
get in TWO DAYS? That was not in my hands until FIVE DAYS later?
Yes. A call has been made to the sellers of Mabel's gift, who OWE ME A BIG REFUND ON SHIPPING! More on that another day.
Friday, December 6, 2019
Thursday, December 5, 2019
The Power of Val's Weirdo Magnet Crosses State Lines
You'd think I could escape weirdos by driving (riding) 9.5 hours from home with a jabbing sweaver. But no. My weirdo magnet's pull is epic.
Thanksgiving night, after our casino buffet feast at Riverwind Casino, The Pony and I worked our way towards the front of the casino. We parted ways as I entered the women's bathroom and The Pony continued losing. Let the record show that riding 9.5 hours does my knees no favors. Nor does traipsing around a casino. I move slowly.
When I came out the open maze-like entrance of the restrooms, a man was standing against the half-wall across from it. I assumed he was waiting for a companion to exit the restrooms. He met my eye briefly, as I hobbled down the slight ramp to enter the FREE SODA room. Imagine my surprise when Waiting Guy followed me.
There are two soda fountains in there. I went to the one on the right. Pulled a cup. Pushed the lever for ice, and started filling my cup with Diet Pepsi (!). I don't like people behind me. I glanced around to keep track of Waiting Guy. He was just standing there, looking at me. CREEPY! When he saw me looking, he went to the soda fountain on the left. Stood there. Didn't pull a cup.
What in the NOT-HEAVEN?
I added a dash of lemonade to my beverage, and got the Not-Heaven out of there! Of all the times for nobody else to be lined up at the soda fountains! The entrance is wide, but the soda fountains are in an alcove to the right. Not seen from outside on the main walkway.
Sure, Waiting Guy probably had no ill intentions. But he could have easily knocked me in the head, or grabbed my gambling over-the-shoulder purse and toppled me over while making a swift getaway. Although a 30-something dude running with a purse MIGHT have seemed suspicious.
But that's not my WEIRDEST Oklahoma weirdo encounter this time.
As we were getting ready to leave the Grand Casino on our way to the Thanksgiving buffet, I told Hick and The Pony to wait while I made a stop at the bathroom. Again, it was an open entrance, with a little maze turn to block the stalls from view. Once I made the turn, I went to the first stall.
It was a handicap stall, which I have no qualms about using. I need the bar apparatus to hoist myself off the throne, my knees bullying me into such a process. The door was wooden, with louvers, and painted yellow.
I pulled the door open, stepped inside, and turned to reach for the door to pull it closed. The door would not move, because
A WOMAN WAS HOLDING IT OPEN!
It was like an opposite battle of Lucy and Ethel over the armrest at the movie theater. Instead of pushing, we were both pulling. She was a bleached blonde 50-something gal, leathery skin and sinewy arms. Pretty stong. She met my eye, and said,
"Oh. I thought this was the door."
Sheesh! At first, I'd thought she was protesting my entry into the handicap stall! Although she herself did not seem to be physically handicapped. A casino worker stood cleaning a nearby sink, watching us in the mirror. Grabby glared at me like I'd dared to renovate the entrance while she'd been in her stall. Then turned and left through the maze opening. I closed that door, shaken by the unexpected confrontation.
I'm glad that door had a good latch!
Thanksgiving night, after our casino buffet feast at Riverwind Casino, The Pony and I worked our way towards the front of the casino. We parted ways as I entered the women's bathroom and The Pony continued losing. Let the record show that riding 9.5 hours does my knees no favors. Nor does traipsing around a casino. I move slowly.
When I came out the open maze-like entrance of the restrooms, a man was standing against the half-wall across from it. I assumed he was waiting for a companion to exit the restrooms. He met my eye briefly, as I hobbled down the slight ramp to enter the FREE SODA room. Imagine my surprise when Waiting Guy followed me.
There are two soda fountains in there. I went to the one on the right. Pulled a cup. Pushed the lever for ice, and started filling my cup with Diet Pepsi (!). I don't like people behind me. I glanced around to keep track of Waiting Guy. He was just standing there, looking at me. CREEPY! When he saw me looking, he went to the soda fountain on the left. Stood there. Didn't pull a cup.
What in the NOT-HEAVEN?
I added a dash of lemonade to my beverage, and got the Not-Heaven out of there! Of all the times for nobody else to be lined up at the soda fountains! The entrance is wide, but the soda fountains are in an alcove to the right. Not seen from outside on the main walkway.
Sure, Waiting Guy probably had no ill intentions. But he could have easily knocked me in the head, or grabbed my gambling over-the-shoulder purse and toppled me over while making a swift getaway. Although a 30-something dude running with a purse MIGHT have seemed suspicious.
But that's not my WEIRDEST Oklahoma weirdo encounter this time.
As we were getting ready to leave the Grand Casino on our way to the Thanksgiving buffet, I told Hick and The Pony to wait while I made a stop at the bathroom. Again, it was an open entrance, with a little maze turn to block the stalls from view. Once I made the turn, I went to the first stall.
It was a handicap stall, which I have no qualms about using. I need the bar apparatus to hoist myself off the throne, my knees bullying me into such a process. The door was wooden, with louvers, and painted yellow.
I pulled the door open, stepped inside, and turned to reach for the door to pull it closed. The door would not move, because
A WOMAN WAS HOLDING IT OPEN!
It was like an opposite battle of Lucy and Ethel over the armrest at the movie theater. Instead of pushing, we were both pulling. She was a bleached blonde 50-something gal, leathery skin and sinewy arms. Pretty stong. She met my eye, and said,
"Oh. I thought this was the door."
Sheesh! At first, I'd thought she was protesting my entry into the handicap stall! Although she herself did not seem to be physically handicapped. A casino worker stood cleaning a nearby sink, watching us in the mirror. Grabby glared at me like I'd dared to renovate the entrance while she'd been in her stall. Then turned and left through the maze opening. I closed that door, shaken by the unexpected confrontation.
I'm glad that door had a good latch!
Wednesday, December 4, 2019
Finishin' the Winnin'
On rainy and windy Thanksgiving day, Hick drove us to a casino we'd never visited before. It is called the Grand Casino, in Shawnee, on I-40. You can't miss it. The 10-story hotel is quite noticeable over the Oklahoma plains. Let the record show that this casino was, indeed, GRAND. To me, anyway.
I wandered around with The Pony, who doesn't really have favorite slots like Hick and I. So when a slot beckoned me, I fed it some money.
I think this one was called Dark and Stormy Nights. I have no idea how it worked. I fed it a twenty, and after a few spins, I hit a bonus, which kept giving me free games, and expanded to a second screen! This is the very end of the last spin, showing my total win of $149.25. As you might imagine, I was quite pleased with myself.
A couple rows over, I saw a Nugget machine that I've only played once. Not sure how it works, either. But it worked for me!
Again, I fed it a twenty. I played a while going up and down with little wins. The Pony came to play the same kind of machine on my left. Much to his dismay, I hit the FREE GAMES bonus. I don't remember how many I had, but by the time it was over, I'd won $234.90!
We had to leave the Grand Casino to get to our Thanksgiving feast. I'd only had time to play four slots, none of them my regulars, but I was okay with that! On our drive back, I pumped Hick for information about the location of a new favorite, Spartacus, and old game I'd played back home. Hick saw one at Riverwind Casino in Norman, where we always take The Pony.
Yep! I KNEW I wanted to play Spartacus. Here's the end of my bonus, showing a win of $103.50. I must have played it for over 30 minutes, up and down, varying my bet. It hit the bonus on a bet of $2.50. So that's not really a great payoff, but one I was happy to take.
I lost The Pony on a trip to the bathroom. In looking for him, I noticed a machine through the aisles. I had no intention of playing it, but my eye kept returning. I figured I'd eventually reunite with The Pony, and sat down to play this Sphinx themed slot whose name I do not know. Of course a dude sat down right next to me, on my left, to play a different kind of slot, and commenced hitting bonuses like there was no tomorrow! Of course that irritated me, and I refused to look over at what he was winning. I figured I'd play out my twenty, and continue my Pony quest.
This Sphinx started paying me little wins. By the time I doubled my money, I started going across the wagers. I'd been playing 60 or 80 cents, I think. I don't remember how the bets went, but as (my very good) luck would have it, I hit FREE GAMES on a $3.20 bet. I'm not sure how this freaky screen paid me, but by the end of the bonus, it paid me $245.36. Something else I didn't know was that a creepy stalker was watching me from the other side of the aisle! There she is! Pictorial evidence in case I'd come to no good end on that evening! Unless...what if...she was BEHIND ME all that time, and it's a reflection in the side of my machine? No. Calm down, self. She's on the other side.
From here I met up with The Pony, who was ready to leave, what with having the beginnings of a cold, and losing his shirt on the slots. I'd already subsidized his depleted bankroll, and given him a couple of small winning tickets I'd cashed out. He'd squirreled away a third of the money I'd doled out to him at the beginning of our trip, so he wasn't leaving empty-handed. Can you believe HICK had the nerve to say, "What, you're giving HIM some of your winnings? How about me?" Yeah. I knew you could believe it. I offered Hick a twenty, but he was too proud to take it. Dummy! I regret even offering it, because Hick is a grown man with his own Storage Unit Store, where he rakes in dollars of profits every weekend!
Anyhoo...Hick left to drive The Pony home, with plans to come back and spend another hour before we left. Gosh. A lot of money can be eaten by slots in an hour! At least I had one more little win.
I haven't seen this Scarab slot anywhere but a casino we play at in Wyandotte, Oklahoma. But here it was, calling me over. It gave me a little back, when I had almost depleted my twenty. This evening was actually the worst of our three gambling sessions for me. I lost back a little of my profits, besides funding The Pony every now and then.
Still, I am calling this trip a success in the gambling department, because I came home with a profit of $400. Poor Hick. He lost more than The Pony, and it was his own money! Except for the $50 winning scratcher I bought for him on the way out there on Wednesday.
Slots are totally random, you know. This trip, they couldn't seem to quit paying me. Until that last hour on the last night. There were other slots I fed a twenty, and got nothing out of in return. I wish there was a formula I could follow to have such success again. But there's not. Totally random.
I wandered around with The Pony, who doesn't really have favorite slots like Hick and I. So when a slot beckoned me, I fed it some money.
I think this one was called Dark and Stormy Nights. I have no idea how it worked. I fed it a twenty, and after a few spins, I hit a bonus, which kept giving me free games, and expanded to a second screen! This is the very end of the last spin, showing my total win of $149.25. As you might imagine, I was quite pleased with myself.
A couple rows over, I saw a Nugget machine that I've only played once. Not sure how it works, either. But it worked for me!
Again, I fed it a twenty. I played a while going up and down with little wins. The Pony came to play the same kind of machine on my left. Much to his dismay, I hit the FREE GAMES bonus. I don't remember how many I had, but by the time it was over, I'd won $234.90!
We had to leave the Grand Casino to get to our Thanksgiving feast. I'd only had time to play four slots, none of them my regulars, but I was okay with that! On our drive back, I pumped Hick for information about the location of a new favorite, Spartacus, and old game I'd played back home. Hick saw one at Riverwind Casino in Norman, where we always take The Pony.
I lost The Pony on a trip to the bathroom. In looking for him, I noticed a machine through the aisles. I had no intention of playing it, but my eye kept returning. I figured I'd eventually reunite with The Pony, and sat down to play this Sphinx themed slot whose name I do not know. Of course a dude sat down right next to me, on my left, to play a different kind of slot, and commenced hitting bonuses like there was no tomorrow! Of course that irritated me, and I refused to look over at what he was winning. I figured I'd play out my twenty, and continue my Pony quest.
This Sphinx started paying me little wins. By the time I doubled my money, I started going across the wagers. I'd been playing 60 or 80 cents, I think. I don't remember how the bets went, but as (my very good) luck would have it, I hit FREE GAMES on a $3.20 bet. I'm not sure how this freaky screen paid me, but by the end of the bonus, it paid me $245.36. Something else I didn't know was that a creepy stalker was watching me from the other side of the aisle! There she is! Pictorial evidence in case I'd come to no good end on that evening! Unless...what if...she was BEHIND ME all that time, and it's a reflection in the side of my machine? No. Calm down, self. She's on the other side.
From here I met up with The Pony, who was ready to leave, what with having the beginnings of a cold, and losing his shirt on the slots. I'd already subsidized his depleted bankroll, and given him a couple of small winning tickets I'd cashed out. He'd squirreled away a third of the money I'd doled out to him at the beginning of our trip, so he wasn't leaving empty-handed. Can you believe HICK had the nerve to say, "What, you're giving HIM some of your winnings? How about me?" Yeah. I knew you could believe it. I offered Hick a twenty, but he was too proud to take it. Dummy! I regret even offering it, because Hick is a grown man with his own Storage Unit Store, where he rakes in dollars of profits every weekend!
Anyhoo...Hick left to drive The Pony home, with plans to come back and spend another hour before we left. Gosh. A lot of money can be eaten by slots in an hour! At least I had one more little win.
Still, I am calling this trip a success in the gambling department, because I came home with a profit of $400. Poor Hick. He lost more than The Pony, and it was his own money! Except for the $50 winning scratcher I bought for him on the way out there on Wednesday.
Slots are totally random, you know. This trip, they couldn't seem to quit paying me. Until that last hour on the last night. There were other slots I fed a twenty, and got nothing out of in return. I wish there was a formula I could follow to have such success again. But there's not. Totally random.
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
Turkey is Turkey
The original Thevictorian plan for Thanksgiving 2019 was taking The Pony to Golden Corral. We go there every visit (The Pony loves their rolls), and of course they would be having a special Thanksgiving buffet. My sister the ex-mayor's wife, once she heard of our upcoming trip to Oklahoma, recommended Cracker Barrel. I appreciate her input, but I am no fan of Cracker Barrel. I think I've been there twice, and the food tasted like it came out of cans.
Anyhoo...we drive right past Golden Corral in our 5-minute trip from lodging or casino to The Pony's apartment. We saw their banner on the end of the building, advertising their Thanksgiving buffet. Thanksgiving dawned cold and rainy. Hick's original idea to visit the Oklahoma City National Memorial was replaced (by Hick) to a visit to a casino that we pass on the highway. He decreed that we would pop into the Golden Corral buffet around 1:00. I said it would be busy then. That's a nice round number, and time people would agree to meet for a feast. So he decided on 1:30.
Well. We got to the other casino, and up front, Hick asked what time we wanted to meet for the drive back. The Pony mentioned a time a half hour later than Hick's recommendation. Which put us getting back to the Golden Corral buffet at 2:00. I though that sounded reasonable.
Pulling into Golden Corral's full parking lot, we got lucky when a truck backed out of a space where we always park. There weren't many empty spaces. People were milling around the front door. The Pony and I groused that it looked too crowded. Hick declared that it was a big family group, on their way out. Once we walked through the windy drizzle to the door, we discovered MORE of that group just getting out of their cars, moseying up to their family unit. There must have been 50 people waiting outside.
Hick was very thirsty, he said. And impatient. But he thought we should wait for our Thanksgiving buffet. "The line will move fast. It's a buffet."
The Pony and I didn't think so. People would be going back for more. Plates might be an issue. Items would run out and bins need refilling. We might have to share a table with another group. We suggested another venue. It was The Pony who said, "McDonald's probably isn't busy."
"We are NOT having Thanksgiving dinner at McDonald's!" decreed Hick. Though not in his usual hateful way, out of deference to The Pony, so beloved and missed. Fact is, The Pony was coming down with a cold, had eaten a McDonald's sausage biscuit four hours previous, and said he wasn't all that hungry.
Anyhoo...Val saved the day by announcing: "I'm sure the casino buffet is serving Thanksgiving dinner. We're going there anyway."
Hick was amazed! "Yeah! They'll have Thanksgiving food. A buffet is a buffet. We'll go there!" Plus, it was only five minutes down the road.
We turned to walk back down the sidewalk to A-Cad. More of the family was trickling in. Hick and The Pony got off the sidewalk, into the wet grass. I hobbled along on the concrete, wanting to be surefooted. Of course a couple thirty-something family gals came at me, neither one of them willing to stop walking abreast (heh, heh, I said aBREAST) and let me pass. So I had to also step off in the grass to let them pass. No respect for the elderly these days!
On the drive, we discussed the fact that even if the line at the casino buffet was long, we could sit at the slots and get up when the crowd thinned out. No need to stand for 30 minutes, waiting for a table. Hick dropped us off and went to park. The Pony and I headed to the buffet entrance, where we discovered only three parties ahead of us! We sat down to wait for Hick, and jumped in line as soon as he got there.
Our wait was less than five minutes. We got a table at the head of the buffet. I had carved turkey, wild rice, mashed potatoes (more than a threadbare flannel quilt--I would term it more like grandma's feather bed), a broccoli/rice/cheese concoction that was my favorite of the selections, and some peel-and-eat shrimp. You know. The traditional Thanksgiving shrimp. Oh, and I also had a roll.
The Pony, being not very hungry, had turkey, mashed potatoes, wild rice, rolls with butter, and went back for some beef brisket and BBQ sauce. Hick had mostly the same, but without shrimp, and with a huge slice of ham about the size and thickness of a tablet. "He really carved me a big piece!" said Hick, eating every bite.
There was a whole island of desserts. I sampled several mini plates, including a lemon bar, pecan crumble bar, pumpkin bar, and strawberry shortcake. They were little. Like two bites apiece. Just the right amount for trying several items. The Pony had a ball of ice cream with sprinkles, and some flan. I've never had flan, so I tried a bite at his request. Not a fan of flan! Nope. Not the texture for me! Hick, who is not supposed to have desserts, had a ball of ice cream, a piece of chocolate cake, a piece of rainbow cake, and maybe apple pie. I'm not the food police. Again, I did not get a picture. Darn me! My phone was right there in my gambling purse.
Anyhoo...we had a great little waitress, whom Hick insisted upon handing the tip, rather than leave it on the table for a busboy to pocket or contribute to the tip pot. I hope she kept it for herself. She was friendly, not intrusive, kept the drinks coming and the plates going, and appeared when needed like Radar O'Reilly.
The best part of all? NO CLEANUP for Val! The worst part of all? The rolls were not up to The Pony's standards. He was okay with that.
Anyhoo...we drive right past Golden Corral in our 5-minute trip from lodging or casino to The Pony's apartment. We saw their banner on the end of the building, advertising their Thanksgiving buffet. Thanksgiving dawned cold and rainy. Hick's original idea to visit the Oklahoma City National Memorial was replaced (by Hick) to a visit to a casino that we pass on the highway. He decreed that we would pop into the Golden Corral buffet around 1:00. I said it would be busy then. That's a nice round number, and time people would agree to meet for a feast. So he decided on 1:30.
Well. We got to the other casino, and up front, Hick asked what time we wanted to meet for the drive back. The Pony mentioned a time a half hour later than Hick's recommendation. Which put us getting back to the Golden Corral buffet at 2:00. I though that sounded reasonable.
Pulling into Golden Corral's full parking lot, we got lucky when a truck backed out of a space where we always park. There weren't many empty spaces. People were milling around the front door. The Pony and I groused that it looked too crowded. Hick declared that it was a big family group, on their way out. Once we walked through the windy drizzle to the door, we discovered MORE of that group just getting out of their cars, moseying up to their family unit. There must have been 50 people waiting outside.
Hick was very thirsty, he said. And impatient. But he thought we should wait for our Thanksgiving buffet. "The line will move fast. It's a buffet."
The Pony and I didn't think so. People would be going back for more. Plates might be an issue. Items would run out and bins need refilling. We might have to share a table with another group. We suggested another venue. It was The Pony who said, "McDonald's probably isn't busy."
"We are NOT having Thanksgiving dinner at McDonald's!" decreed Hick. Though not in his usual hateful way, out of deference to The Pony, so beloved and missed. Fact is, The Pony was coming down with a cold, had eaten a McDonald's sausage biscuit four hours previous, and said he wasn't all that hungry.
Anyhoo...Val saved the day by announcing: "I'm sure the casino buffet is serving Thanksgiving dinner. We're going there anyway."
Hick was amazed! "Yeah! They'll have Thanksgiving food. A buffet is a buffet. We'll go there!" Plus, it was only five minutes down the road.
We turned to walk back down the sidewalk to A-Cad. More of the family was trickling in. Hick and The Pony got off the sidewalk, into the wet grass. I hobbled along on the concrete, wanting to be surefooted. Of course a couple thirty-something family gals came at me, neither one of them willing to stop walking abreast (heh, heh, I said aBREAST) and let me pass. So I had to also step off in the grass to let them pass. No respect for the elderly these days!
On the drive, we discussed the fact that even if the line at the casino buffet was long, we could sit at the slots and get up when the crowd thinned out. No need to stand for 30 minutes, waiting for a table. Hick dropped us off and went to park. The Pony and I headed to the buffet entrance, where we discovered only three parties ahead of us! We sat down to wait for Hick, and jumped in line as soon as he got there.
Our wait was less than five minutes. We got a table at the head of the buffet. I had carved turkey, wild rice, mashed potatoes (more than a threadbare flannel quilt--I would term it more like grandma's feather bed), a broccoli/rice/cheese concoction that was my favorite of the selections, and some peel-and-eat shrimp. You know. The traditional Thanksgiving shrimp. Oh, and I also had a roll.
The Pony, being not very hungry, had turkey, mashed potatoes, wild rice, rolls with butter, and went back for some beef brisket and BBQ sauce. Hick had mostly the same, but without shrimp, and with a huge slice of ham about the size and thickness of a tablet. "He really carved me a big piece!" said Hick, eating every bite.
There was a whole island of desserts. I sampled several mini plates, including a lemon bar, pecan crumble bar, pumpkin bar, and strawberry shortcake. They were little. Like two bites apiece. Just the right amount for trying several items. The Pony had a ball of ice cream with sprinkles, and some flan. I've never had flan, so I tried a bite at his request. Not a fan of flan! Nope. Not the texture for me! Hick, who is not supposed to have desserts, had a ball of ice cream, a piece of chocolate cake, a piece of rainbow cake, and maybe apple pie. I'm not the food police. Again, I did not get a picture. Darn me! My phone was right there in my gambling purse.
Anyhoo...we had a great little waitress, whom Hick insisted upon handing the tip, rather than leave it on the table for a busboy to pocket or contribute to the tip pot. I hope she kept it for herself. She was friendly, not intrusive, kept the drinks coming and the plates going, and appeared when needed like Radar O'Reilly.
The best part of all? NO CLEANUP for Val! The worst part of all? The rolls were not up to The Pony's standards. He was okay with that.
Monday, December 2, 2019
The One Where Hick Acts as The Pony's Wiper, and Val is a Money-Sucking Thorn in His Side
The first order of business when we arrived at The Pony's apartment building last Wednesday was to replace his windshield wipers. Let the record show that The Pony had sent a text on November 16 that his windshield wiper BLEW UP. He meant blew out. Ripped to shreds. He thinks he turned them on when they were frozen to his windshield.
Anyhoo...his solution was: "I really don't have much time to drive right now anyway. It can wait until you guys come down. If I have to get out, I'll make sure it's a sunny day."
Don't pretend that you're surprised. Not even Hick's suggestion to have the Walmart automotive department, or O'Reilly's Auto Parts put them on, garnered any traction with The Pony. Nor my inquiry as to whether his Bestie would go with him and speak up for him. Hick had bought a set, and once we arrived, showed The Pony how simple it was to replace them.
The Pony carried in the treats we brought him, then we went to check in at La Quinta, an easy 5-minute drive from both The Pony's apartment, and the casino (which had no rooms available). It's not the Ritz, but I sleep well on their mattress and pillows (no horror stories, please), and the price is good. Not to mention the free breakfast.
At the casino, Hick dropped us off at the back entrance. Just inside was a Flintstones slot that The Pony wanted to show me. He'd played it when Hick passed through on his journey out west in September. There were two Flintstones slots, side by side. The Pony chose the one on the left. I don't like to play side by side. I figure if one slot is set to pay off easier, the one next to it will be set tighter. Anyhoo...we both played, and I doubled my money, while The Pony lost his twenty. He showed me a bonus game I could play, which won me an additional $36. Poor Pony.
We moved on to a Buffalo Gold game that he wanted to play. There were three. The Pony took the one in the middle, and I sat on his right, because that slot was on the end. Yep. It ate The Pony's money.
But with my original twenty still in play, mine gave me a bonus that paid $152. Poor Pony.
That's kind of how it went. He played a wheel spin game for a while, winning and losing, until it took his money. I played a new game (to me) called Huff n Puff, a perpendicular row behind him. It gave me a crappy bonus, but with only $4 left
I got this $90 line hit full of pigs. The Pony did not seem to share my joy. We wandered to some other slots of his choosing. One is a lightning zapper kind of thing. Three games side by side. He took the green theme on the left, we skipped the red one in the middle, and I took the blue one on the right. The Pony was hitting little paybacks like crazy, his machine making that exciting zapper noise. I was happy for him. Mine had no sound, and I had played down to my last dollar with only one payback, of less than three dollars. As I was pointing out how bad my slot sucked, I pushed the button while looking at The Pony.
"You just got something," he said. And I looked up to see that I'd hit some kind of bonus that paid me $71. Poor Pony. He cashed out $15. No picture of that one, because it was ONLY $71. Who takes a picture of that? Not this old Val.
After that, The Pony and I split up, me going up front to the bathrooms and FREE SODA area, with a plan to meet at the back door with Hick at 10:00. I wandered around like Midas, everything I touched wanting to reward me with gold. With only ten minute left until leave time, working my way to the back of the casino, I stopped to play Dancing Drums. There's a carousel of them, usually all occupied. Those Oklahoma folks love their Dancing Drums.
Anyhoo...I tried to put my ticket in one, but the ticket accepter wasn't accepting. The screen said CALL ATTENDANT. So I moved over to the next one. I had a ticket of almost twenty dollars that I put it. That was going to be it for the evening, as I had an even number built up on my "saving" ticket, to cash out a profit! With only 10 minutes left (5, really, because I had to leave time to walk to the back door, and to cash out my ticket), I played the second-level bet of $1.76, instead of my usual 88 cents.
BONG BONG BONG! On the third spin, I hit the bonus! The guy sitting to my right didn't seem to share in my joy, either. Sometimes it takes forever to hit a bonus on Dancing Drums. Anyhoo...here's my bonus, of $133.60.
Yes, I had a very good evening at the casino. And some more good luck the next day. You won't get my grand total yet. Just remember, it takes money to make money. And I was also subsidizing The Pony's wagering.
Anyhoo...his solution was: "I really don't have much time to drive right now anyway. It can wait until you guys come down. If I have to get out, I'll make sure it's a sunny day."
Don't pretend that you're surprised. Not even Hick's suggestion to have the Walmart automotive department, or O'Reilly's Auto Parts put them on, garnered any traction with The Pony. Nor my inquiry as to whether his Bestie would go with him and speak up for him. Hick had bought a set, and once we arrived, showed The Pony how simple it was to replace them.
The Pony carried in the treats we brought him, then we went to check in at La Quinta, an easy 5-minute drive from both The Pony's apartment, and the casino (which had no rooms available). It's not the Ritz, but I sleep well on their mattress and pillows (no horror stories, please), and the price is good. Not to mention the free breakfast.
At the casino, Hick dropped us off at the back entrance. Just inside was a Flintstones slot that The Pony wanted to show me. He'd played it when Hick passed through on his journey out west in September. There were two Flintstones slots, side by side. The Pony chose the one on the left. I don't like to play side by side. I figure if one slot is set to pay off easier, the one next to it will be set tighter. Anyhoo...we both played, and I doubled my money, while The Pony lost his twenty. He showed me a bonus game I could play, which won me an additional $36. Poor Pony.
We moved on to a Buffalo Gold game that he wanted to play. There were three. The Pony took the one in the middle, and I sat on his right, because that slot was on the end. Yep. It ate The Pony's money.
But with my original twenty still in play, mine gave me a bonus that paid $152. Poor Pony.
That's kind of how it went. He played a wheel spin game for a while, winning and losing, until it took his money. I played a new game (to me) called Huff n Puff, a perpendicular row behind him. It gave me a crappy bonus, but with only $4 left
I got this $90 line hit full of pigs. The Pony did not seem to share my joy. We wandered to some other slots of his choosing. One is a lightning zapper kind of thing. Three games side by side. He took the green theme on the left, we skipped the red one in the middle, and I took the blue one on the right. The Pony was hitting little paybacks like crazy, his machine making that exciting zapper noise. I was happy for him. Mine had no sound, and I had played down to my last dollar with only one payback, of less than three dollars. As I was pointing out how bad my slot sucked, I pushed the button while looking at The Pony.
"You just got something," he said. And I looked up to see that I'd hit some kind of bonus that paid me $71. Poor Pony. He cashed out $15. No picture of that one, because it was ONLY $71. Who takes a picture of that? Not this old Val.
After that, The Pony and I split up, me going up front to the bathrooms and FREE SODA area, with a plan to meet at the back door with Hick at 10:00. I wandered around like Midas, everything I touched wanting to reward me with gold. With only ten minute left until leave time, working my way to the back of the casino, I stopped to play Dancing Drums. There's a carousel of them, usually all occupied. Those Oklahoma folks love their Dancing Drums.
Anyhoo...I tried to put my ticket in one, but the ticket accepter wasn't accepting. The screen said CALL ATTENDANT. So I moved over to the next one. I had a ticket of almost twenty dollars that I put it. That was going to be it for the evening, as I had an even number built up on my "saving" ticket, to cash out a profit! With only 10 minutes left (5, really, because I had to leave time to walk to the back door, and to cash out my ticket), I played the second-level bet of $1.76, instead of my usual 88 cents.
BONG BONG BONG! On the third spin, I hit the bonus! The guy sitting to my right didn't seem to share in my joy, either. Sometimes it takes forever to hit a bonus on Dancing Drums. Anyhoo...here's my bonus, of $133.60.
Yes, I had a very good evening at the casino. And some more good luck the next day. You won't get my grand total yet. Just remember, it takes money to make money. And I was also subsidizing The Pony's wagering.
Sunday, December 1, 2019
The Meal Before the Meal
We spent Thanksgiving in Norman, Oklahoma with The Pony. Don't think he volunteered to cook a feast for us. He really doesn't care about helping people, you know. Not even his own parents, whom he misinformed of the dates for Thanksgiving break!
Hick wanted to go on Wednesday, stay two nights, and come back Friday. I argued that those are busy travel days, and I didn't like the idea of being in traffic for 9.5 hours Wednesday and Friday. Then The Pony said he wouldn't be out of class until 1:30 on Wednesday, which gave credence to Hick's plan. I thought that was a bunch of baloney! I'm SO SURE the students would hang around for a full day of classes on Wednesday...
Anyhoo, once our reservations were made, and late Monday night, The Pony revealed that he had misread the schedule, and he was off ALL DAY on Wednesday! Well. Too bad, so sad, for both me AND The Pony. The very earliest we could get there would be 3:30 on Wednesday. As it was, we didn't make it until 4:30. The Pony was chomping at the bit. Not to SEE us. But to get going and have supper and hit the casino. Good thing I advised him to go ahead and eat lunch!
Supper on Wednesday evening was at a steakhouse. The Pony had steak and a baked potato and a caesar salad. Hick had steak and shrimp, with a baked potato and a garden salad. I had the chopped steak, on a bed of mashed potatoes, topped with mushrooms and brown gravy, and sides of fries and slaw. I could kick myself (were I so limber) for leaving my phone in the car and not getting photos.
Lets just say that while the chopped steak itself was delicious, the other items didn't live up to my expectations. The bed of mashed potatoes was more like a threadbare flannel blanket! The mushrooms were less than one whole mushroom, sliced into four pieces. The fries, while crispy and tasty, were fewer than a small order at Burger King. And the SLAW! It was the major disappointment. I had a long, generous dish of the slaw. I tried to eat it. You know how I love my slaw! But it was NOT of the proper slawish flavor. The texture was good, the ingredients were good, but the wet part was not. It tasted like it had been poured from a bottle of storebought slaw dressing. I could not eat more than three bites. That's a tragedy! I gave it to Hick, who said it tasted fine to him, and ate about half. Hick does not have a refined slaw palate.
From there, we headed for the casino. It was 8:00 by the time we arrived. More on the casino tomorrow...
Hick wanted to go on Wednesday, stay two nights, and come back Friday. I argued that those are busy travel days, and I didn't like the idea of being in traffic for 9.5 hours Wednesday and Friday. Then The Pony said he wouldn't be out of class until 1:30 on Wednesday, which gave credence to Hick's plan. I thought that was a bunch of baloney! I'm SO SURE the students would hang around for a full day of classes on Wednesday...
Anyhoo, once our reservations were made, and late Monday night, The Pony revealed that he had misread the schedule, and he was off ALL DAY on Wednesday! Well. Too bad, so sad, for both me AND The Pony. The very earliest we could get there would be 3:30 on Wednesday. As it was, we didn't make it until 4:30. The Pony was chomping at the bit. Not to SEE us. But to get going and have supper and hit the casino. Good thing I advised him to go ahead and eat lunch!
Supper on Wednesday evening was at a steakhouse. The Pony had steak and a baked potato and a caesar salad. Hick had steak and shrimp, with a baked potato and a garden salad. I had the chopped steak, on a bed of mashed potatoes, topped with mushrooms and brown gravy, and sides of fries and slaw. I could kick myself (were I so limber) for leaving my phone in the car and not getting photos.
Lets just say that while the chopped steak itself was delicious, the other items didn't live up to my expectations. The bed of mashed potatoes was more like a threadbare flannel blanket! The mushrooms were less than one whole mushroom, sliced into four pieces. The fries, while crispy and tasty, were fewer than a small order at Burger King. And the SLAW! It was the major disappointment. I had a long, generous dish of the slaw. I tried to eat it. You know how I love my slaw! But it was NOT of the proper slawish flavor. The texture was good, the ingredients were good, but the wet part was not. It tasted like it had been poured from a bottle of storebought slaw dressing. I could not eat more than three bites. That's a tragedy! I gave it to Hick, who said it tasted fine to him, and ate about half. Hick does not have a refined slaw palate.
From there, we headed for the casino. It was 8:00 by the time we arrived. More on the casino tomorrow...
Saturday, November 30, 2019
A Matter of HappenCENTS
MONDAY, November 25, I popped into the Backroads Casey's for some scratchers, and discovered my rightful penny hiding WAY under the gum rack. So far back I could only see it from the door as I entered, and by peering through the products on the rack. I fished it out with the toe of The Pony's cast-off shoe, and posed it in T-Hoe for the picture.
It was a heads-up 1991. The scratcher was a loser, but it has an interesting premise, and is colorful to boot! There are 10 rows of charcters. You scratch your way across, uncovering the Pac-Men. When you find a monster, you're done! You're a loser! I don't win much on this ticket, but the very first one I played was a $50 winner. So I can still hope.
___________________________________________________________
TUESDAY, November 26, I stopped by the Sis-Town Casey's while doing some last-minute errands at the bank before our Thanksgiving trip. Peeping out from under an individual bag of Bugles, next to a bag of Airheads candy, too far back to get a good picture, needing the shoe-toe for extraction, was this charmer:
A 2003 heads-up penny, waiting patiently for me to drop in unexpectedly. I doubt he would have still been there by Friday, my regular day. Sadly, that ticket was a loser. Oh, well. I can't expect to have it all! That would be unfair, getting scratchers winners AND pennies.
___________________________________________________________
THURSDAY, November 28 (that's THANKSGIVING DAY to you) I was cashing out at the end of the night (7:00, too soon, too soon!) and found a little extra joy in the coin tray of the ticket redeemer.
It was a face-down 2006, posed here on the desk in my hotel room. I couldn't exactly take a picture right there at the cash-out machine. Not with all those cameras trained on me, and people waiting behind. I had no desire to spend my Thanksgiving night in a windowless room, being interrogated by security staff. I guess one unlucky gambler went home 1 cent shy of his rightful winnings. I wouldn't deliberately steal from a fellow gambler, but I AM an opportunist...
Three cents this week. I'm gonna have to hustle to meet last year's total on pennies!
__________________________________________________________________
2019 Running Total
Penny # 115, 116, 117.
Dime still at 19.
Nickel still at 8.
Quarter # 5.
2018 TOTALS
Penny 131
Dime 17
Nickel 6
Quarter 1
2017 TOTALS (Started in March, 2017)
Penny 78
Dime 6
Nickel 0
Quarter 0
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___________________________________________________________
TUESDAY, November 26, I stopped by the Sis-Town Casey's while doing some last-minute errands at the bank before our Thanksgiving trip. Peeping out from under an individual bag of Bugles, next to a bag of Airheads candy, too far back to get a good picture, needing the shoe-toe for extraction, was this charmer:
A 2003 heads-up penny, waiting patiently for me to drop in unexpectedly. I doubt he would have still been there by Friday, my regular day. Sadly, that ticket was a loser. Oh, well. I can't expect to have it all! That would be unfair, getting scratchers winners AND pennies.
___________________________________________________________
THURSDAY, November 28 (that's THANKSGIVING DAY to you) I was cashing out at the end of the night (7:00, too soon, too soon!) and found a little extra joy in the coin tray of the ticket redeemer.
Three cents this week. I'm gonna have to hustle to meet last year's total on pennies!
__________________________________________________________________
2019 Running Total
Penny # 115, 116, 117.
Dime still at 19.
Nickel still at 8.
Quarter # 5.
2018 TOTALS
Penny 131
Dime 17
Nickel 6
Quarter 1
2017 TOTALS (Started in March, 2017)
Penny 78
Dime 6
Nickel 0
Quarter 0
__________________________________________________________________
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