Hick House Downstairs: Kitchen Renovation

The kitchen of Hick House was enough to make you nauseous! To make you appreciate Hick's handiwork more, let's start with the first pictures of the kitchen. If you like to think about where in the house the kitchen is located, you can refer to your Paper Plate Blueprint again. The kitchen is on the left side of the house, at the back.

Yes. This is the KITCHEN! It's full of junk that HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) hauled in from the living room and bedroom, so he and Hick could set up a saw and other handyman tools without tripping over stuff. That's the only window. It looks out on the downhill side. Hick and HOS replaced it with a smaller window, which you can see from the post a few days ago. It looks towards a little creek, and a neighbor's house through a few trees.

This is the same wall, to the right. The built-in cabinets will stay (and be scoured within an inch of their sorry lives). I'm pretty sure that clock won't survive the culling.

Here's the old kitchen sink. Aside from those built-ins, Hick and HOS threw away everything AND the kitchen sink! Don't worry, though. Hick got a NEW kitchen sink! In fact, he got cabinets, countertop, and sink with fixtures for the low, low price of $250.

Here's the tall, pantry-like cabinet, posed near the decluttered built-ins.

And there's HOS, playing Carol Merrill beside the uppers.

And the counter and sink set into place under the window (before replacement), on March 2.

Hick has been working on the kitchen this week. He had some flooring given to him by an old crony, and decided to use it for the backsplash.


Of course I complained because this $5000 house is getting a stainless steel sink! Hick kindly offered to rip out my own almond-colored sink of the past 21 years, to put it in this house, and give me the stainless steel. No thanks. The last thing I need is Hick putting my kitchen sink on the back burner of his renovation projects!


Here's the renovated corner of the kitchen as of Tuesday (March 12). Hick is planning on using a piece of 1x to trim along the top of his flooring backsplash. He'll cut a groove in it, like making an L-shape, and fasten it along the top edge. The hole under the counter will not have a dishwasher, but will be used for a wastebasket, or perhaps have some shelves built in. The walls will be painted.

Hick said he and HOS are working with drywall around a flue corner of the kitchen (in the back left corner from this view). There's going to be a built-in table. So the kitchen was undergoing updates as this went to press.

 This isn't a going to be a palace. Just a safe, livable house that will pass city inspection.

Hick House Downstairs: New Bathroom

The first project Hick and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) undertook was creating a new bathroom. I think you'll all forgive me for not showing you that picture of the OLD bathroom again!

A room downstairs was designated as the new bathroom. If you refer back to your paper plate blueprint, you would see this room on the right, near the back of the house, but not designated on the plate as the BR, because that was the old nasty bathroom that's being destroyed. This is a photo Hick took of the new proposed bathroom on March 1.

After HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) had cleaned out the junk, it was completely empty, and Hick hopped on the chance to fill it up with a toilet, bathtub, and shower that he'd gotten for absolutely FREE! He's had them a couple years now, figuring some day he might have a use for them. He found them along the county blacktop road on the way home from work one evening. Sitting by a driveway, marked FREE. Of course he stopped and put them in the back of his Ford F250 4WD Extended Cab Long Bed. Good thing he didn't have a short-bed pickup back then!

For a few days, the shower sat on the front porch. Hick said they had so much junk to clear out that there was no room for the shower inside. Then he had to take the frame off the door between the new bathroom and the front room that's becoming the new master bedroom. According to Hick, the shower can be moved by only one person. In fact, HOS might have brought it in when he was working late one night.

This was the first configuration of the new bathroom, on March 7. Hick was planning to build a wall between the tub and shower. Maybe with shelves that could hold toilet paper rolls or toiletries. The sink was planned against the to-be-built wall opposite the tub/shower wall. Like where the picture-taker was standing.

Then Hick had a bright idea for THIS second configuration, on March 8.

Of course you knew that Hick would change his mind again. Seems like it would be easier to use a little model, rather than drag those items around. But Hick says they aren't heavy. After thinking about where the water would feed into the shower, he settled on the third (and hopefully final) configuration below.

Hick also framed out the wall. This picture is from March 9. He says this arrangement works best, because HOS's stackable washer and dryer will already have that hole in the floor for the dryer vent. As if putting a little hole in the floor is difficult, considering everything else they're doing! The sink will go at the end of the tub.

Hick bought the drywall on Wednesday (March 13). So the bathroom is coming right along, ONLY needing painting, a finish on the floor, maybe a wall at the end of the shower, the sink, and of course plumbing! HOS used work as a plumber's helper, so he can do that without Hick's input.

They've been working on the kitchen this week, so the bathroom has taken a back seat. Kitchen coming up tomorrow!

Hick House Upstairs: The Bedrooms

I wouldn't recommend that you lay your weary head to rest here just yet. Not even your wary head. Hick and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) are letting the upstairs lay fallow, while they renovate the main floor, making it livable. I've already shown you the room at the top of the stairs, but here it is again, to get your bearings.

I call it the Sunroom, because it's sunny in the morning with that eastern exposure, and it's a general purpose room.


This is the other end of it. You can see the two doors that lead to the two bedrooms.
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Bedroom 1 is on the uphill side of the house. You get there through the door to the right in the picture above. It had a lot of memorabilia scattered around. I call it the Fleetwood Mac Bedroom.

That window is the one you see upstairs in the original picture of the house, showing the front porch. This photo shows a small closet, and the door leading out to the Sunroom.

This is another view of the same wall of the Fleetwood Mac Bedroom, showing the ceiling. The wallpaper will be peeled off, and the wood painted. I don't know if that's in the 3-month timeline, or if it will be left to HOS if he takes possession of the house June 1.

Speaking of possession... I don't know what that glare is. There's a window on the back wall, looking out into the back yard. It faces west, so maybe it's a reflection off the door. Otherwise, Hick seems to have captured a large misshapen orb! When I showed him this picture to ask which room it was, he acted like I had done something to the picture. "You've got a glare on it!" Always my fault!
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Bedroom 2 is on the downhill side of the house. You can see its double window in the picture from a couple days ago, that shows how Hick and HOS replaced and framed in the two downstairs windows.

See? Here are the double windows from the inside. And the door that goes out to the Sunroom on the front of the house, plus a little closet.


Here's the other window, that looks out on the back yard. And the far door, which leads into the Fleetwood Mac Bedroom. The door in the foreground is the one that goes out to the Sunroom. Those double windows are on the left side of the picture, where the light comes in.
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So there you have it. The the 3 rooms that comprise the upstairs of Hick House. Not a lot going on up there for now. Just a couple of window replacements, maybe. I think the Fleetwood Mac Bedroom has a broken pane.

The House that Hick Bought (and Rebuilt)

Hick and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) have been working on Hick House since the day we bought it. Actually before the money changed hands, but the day after the verbal agreement was made. One week into their renovations, a neighbor showed up.

"We was workin' outside, and the old lady from next door showed up. She's about my age. She asked what we was doin' there, and I told her we were the new owners, fixin' up the house. She said, 'I know the owner really well.' And I said, 'So do I.' Then she said, 'Her name is This Guy's Wife.' And I said, 'That's who I bought it from!'"

"Great! That sounds so fake! You didn't even tell her who you bought it from! You just agreed after she said the name. How is SHE supposed to know you really bought it?"

"Well, she DID say, 'I've seen you over here, and wondered what was going on. I talk to This Guy's Wife almost every day. I might call her today.' So I said, 'Go ahead. I might call her, too.'"

"She can't be talking to her every day, if This Guy's Wife didn't mention to that old lady that she'd sold the house to you!"

"I know I bought it. Let her call. It's kind of good that she's looking out for the property."

Hick is bending over backwards not to upset the neighbors, though. He tells HOS that he needs to be careful about revving his car engine, because it's kind of loud. And that he shouldn't have changed the oil in his truck over there in the driveway. "I can't afford to have the neighbors upset and calling the police. Let's get this house ready, and not give them anything to complain about." HOS said he doesn't really give an eff if the neighbors get upset. I'm pretty sure he'll change his tune if the police show up and question him. Then some effs will be given!

"HOS needs to be careful. He has nothing to show that he owns the house, and you don't even have anything to show that YOU own the house! What if they call This Guy's Wife to verify it, and she doesn't answer? HOS works over there late at night. I'm sure they see the light on. Almost every time I drive by in the day, I see a cop."

"Yeah. I'll have another talk with him. Once we get it done, if he's living there, I don't care. It's out of my hands then."

Here's a floor plan that Hick drew me on a paper plate, his choice for blueprints. I had a Not-Heaven of a time figuring out which rooms he was talking about. It was like a Who's On First routine. He can't explain any other way besides saying the same thing louder. Even in answer to a specific question, he repeats the same thing, louder. I don't envy HOS, spending his days trying to work with Hick.

After the descriptions, I'll put the original picture of the $5000 house, so maybe you can tell what Hick's referring to in his floor plan. Let the record show that the drawing is not to scale, and that the ground floor is indeed the same size as the upstairs!

The top floor is up top. You come off the U-shaped set of stairs into a sunny room that could be a sitting room. To your right are two doors, each leading to a bedroom. The bedrooms also have a connecting door with each other. Tomorrow, I'll show you actual pictures of the upstairs rooms.

The ground floor has the stairs to the immediate right as you enter the door. Straight ahead, you walk into a room that's going to be the master bedroom. On past that is what's becoming the new bathroom and laundry room. That section along the back might be torn off. Hick has labeled the original bathroom there on the right. The other end is currently a pantry off the kitchen.

The left half of the ground floor has a living room in front, then the kitchen in back. Hick is putting a hallway between the kitchen and new bathroom, I think. He has left out some windows and doors in his floor plan. There's an open archway between the living room and bedroom, which is going to be closed by built-in shelves for both rooms. Hick has a vision, which should become more clear as work progresses.

Let's remember, Hick and HOS are working towards a livable house that will pass city inspection. Nothing fancy.

We Need To Talk About Hick House

After two weeks of unofficial ownership (money has changed hands, deed hasn't been recorded at the county courthouse yet), Hick House has now eaten $5540 of Thevictorian bread. That's an estimate. Hick is the record-keeper. I figure he's pretty accurate, since he's spending cash out of his own Storage Unit Store fortune, hoping to be reimbursed when Hick House sells, or swing a loan through Val's knotted purse strings when the tax refund arrives.

Hick House will be bare-bones livable. Money spent so far includes small tickets for screws and electric boxes, framing lumber, kitchen cabinets/counter/sink, paint, and electric wire. I'd say Hick has gotten quite a lot for his $540. Let's not forget that he has also contributed a toilet, bathtub, shower, many windows, wire, and assorted hardware from his hoard over by the BARn. Just last night, he scored an under-counter microwave for $2.50 at the auction, and also a medicine cabinet for $5.00.

Last week, Hick and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son, the possible future owner of this manor) finished replacing all the downstairs windows, some of which the city had cited for repair.

Some of the removed windows were not broken, and will be used to replace broken ones upstairs. HOS has vinyl siding that will replace this asphalt brick-print siding if the wood underneath is not in a condition to be painted.

You can see the door to the basement here. It's completely dry, no issues. Not a full basement, but about 400 square feet, Hick says. Also, that the basement will make it easy to do the plumbing and electric, since they won't have to crawl around under the house. Hick says you step down into the basement, and the ceiling is plenty high enough for HOS to stand up. He's over 6 feet tall.

There's a gas meter, but Hick told HOS he'd be smart to put in a wood stove down there and blow heat through the ducts, since HOS doesn't want a gas furnace. HOS has an electric furnace, though, so they might use that.

The back porch might be completely torn off, because the city had issues with part of it. Hick says they'll hook up SilverRedO and pull the porch down, then build a deck half the size of the porch. HOS has lumber for that. OR, he might leave the porch on, and fix the corner that has issues, and use the area as a storage room.

That concrete structure at the left is what Hick calls a "Model A garage." It has four good walls, and an opening in front. I suppose HOS could put a roof on it and use it for a storage shed.

Look away if you're squeamish, if you're the type who can't watch Hoarders. I'm about to show you why the back porch is being trashed: the old bathroom.

NOTHING in here is being saved or salvaged, unless possibly the window if it's unbroken. And the original floor, perhaps. Hick said it was common for bathrooms to be added to a house back then. HOS has researched Hick House, and says it was built in the early 1900s. Hick says they would have used an outhouse back then. In fact, my own $17,000 house (a virtual MANSION compared to this one) just up the street, had a bathroom built onto the back of the original structure.

Also like my old house, Hick House has a concrete cistern. Hick says it is currently dry, and if he was HOS, he'd make it into a storm shelter. Tornadoes are nothing to sneeze at!

I asked Hick if that toilet was full of poop. He said, "One time, maybe. Now it's dry and hardened. I ain't worried about it. HOS is the one going to carry out that toilet."

Sorry to end on this note, but that's all I've got today. I'll be sharing more of Hick House through the week. So consider that something to look forward to. Or a warning to stay away!

Hick House Tries To Kill T-Hoe!

I was okay with Hick buying a $5000 house. He's been working hard to upgrade the most important violations of the city building codes. I'll be featuring some of the repairs this week.

Today, though, I'm here to reveal the dark side of Hick House!

When I go to the main post office, I drive by, just to admire our $5000 house. I haven't stopped for an official tour, even though Hick is there most days. There's not a good place to park, especially if Hick and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) have driven separately that day. Hick House is on a hill, on a narrow street. It's not like you can cheat over into the yard. The street has concrete curbs about four inches high. T-Hoe is perfectly capable of driving over a four-inch curb. But the other side, the yard part, is not flush with the top. Or even four inches down from the curb. The yard is below street level. There's a driveway, but HOS's little truck is usually in it. Especially last Thursday, because it was having brake issues when he tried to leave Wednesday night. So he left it.

Anyhoo... we'd been planning all week for me to stop by, with Thursday being the best day, when I'd be in the neighborhood. Hick ended up working alone, because HOS had to take care of his nine-month-old baby while his wife was at work. Hick House is not conducive to babysitting at this time. I mentioned my hesitation about parking, and Hick said to park on the street.

"It's too narrow!"

"I park on it. People can get around."

I had every intention of stopping. Even changed my route and errand order to go by, to park on the right-hand side of the street, directly in front of Hick House. Well. Val's best-laid plans often get sidetracked by Hick's shenanigans. I came down the street to see SilverRedO backed into the front yard. SilverRedO's nose was poking out into the street. I couldn't park uphill from it, because I'd block the neighbor's driveway. I couldn't park downhill of it, because that spot is directly across from a side street, where I'd just seen a UPS truck turn. That truck would have to back out of the side street, and there wouldn't be room with T-Hoe parked there. I couldn't get T-Hoe into the driveway, because HOS's little truck was there. So I kept going. I called Hick, though.

"I just went by. I didn't stop. There's no place to park."

"You can park in front! I parked in the yard."

"I know. You're sticking out. No room."

"Well. Okay."

I knew Hick really wanted to show off Hick House. It just didn't work out. I continued to the post office and the bank, and put gas in T-Hoe. There's a road construction project going on that interferes with my regular route. My way around it would take me past Hick House again, but in the opposite direction. Hm. I could still possibly stop by. I'd scope out the parking from the other angle. Even though it would mean parking on the wrong side of the street. It's not a high-traffic area, but I nearly always see the police on patrol.

Hick House was calling to me. Wanting me to take that tour. I figured I could get T-Hoe off the road as much as possible. And shield him with the front end of SilverRedO. Here's how I ended up.

Don't worry about that Check Engine light! It comes and goes. And the Service Suspension System constantly scrolls with the Service Park Assist. Not a big deal, according to Hick. I started to put on the parking brake, but realized that what I thought was the parking brake release was actually the hood release! So I just left it off, and eased my foot off the brake. I climbed out on the curb, and stepped down into the yard, heading for the sidewalk.

Inside, I hollered for Hick, and gave myself a tour. Eventually Hick came up from the basement, where he'd been looking at the wiring. I didn't go upstairs this time, because I had groceries unchilling in T-Hoe's rear. Hick walked me out so he could get his two salami sandwiches out of SilverRedO. HOS would never know what he missed! I got back in T-Hoe, and started him up. I couldn't quite see around SilverRedO's hood. I figured I'd roll back down the hill a bit, and maybe see enough to get back on my own side of the road.

T-HOE WOULDN'T GET IN GEAR!

Not REVERSE. Not DRIVE. T-Hoe was parked there permanently in front of Hick House! I tried several times. Nope. Hercules, Samson, and The Incredible Hulk, using all six of their arms, could not have shifted T-Hoe's lever out of PARK. I called Hick mid-sandwich. I was pretty sure his PopArm was not going to do the trick, either.

Hick surveyed the situation. Adjusted his camouflage cap. Said I should have put on the parking brake. Yeah. That horse was already out of the gate. The cow had left the barn. Hindsight wasn't helping. Hick said he'd get in SilverRedO, and come up behind T-Hoe, to give him a push. I wasn't so sure I wanted SilverRedO ramming T-Hoe from behind.

"What about pulling? Can't you chain them up and give it a little pull?"

"Well. I could. If I had any chains."

Thing is, since selling off his Ford F250 4WD Extended Cab, Hick has not put his tool box on SilverRedO. So things like chains and jumper cables are sitting at home by the BARn. Hick went back into Hick House, and returned with some straps. Straps with come-alongs, those ratchety things that tighten. He hooked one end to T-Hoe's front pulling-thingy, and the other to the hitch on SilverRedO.

That's my knight in pale-gray hoodie right there!

It took more than five tries (I'm pretty sure that Hick was wishing he still had his 3/4 ton Ford instead of the 1/2 ton Chevy) before SilverRedO got enough pressure off T-Hoe to let me shift out of PARK. In fact, just as it happened, I heard a terrible noise, and thought we might have pulled the bumper off of SilverRedO! But no. When Hick walked back to me, he was holding a severed strap. No big deal. He can get more at the auction.

For a few minutes, I had visions of T-Hoe living out the rest of his life in front of Hick House, while HOS sold off his parts bit by bit.

Not today, Hick House!

Val Comes To Her CENTSes a Day Late and $7.20 Short

For a few days there, I thought I'd have to fill this space with other coins. Coins bought from The Pony on BirthdayPalooza. He's not good with coins, our Pony. He's good about GETTING the coins. He's just not good about KEEPING the coins. They are tossed all willy-nilly about his apartment. I assume. The one and only time I was inside, I sat on some, and stepped on some, and stepped over some, and inquired about some strewn across his table and kitchen counter.

As you might imagine, I was pleasantly surprised when The Pony climbed into A-Cad, and held out a baggie full of change. "I thought you might need some coins." It goes without saying that he knew I would give him money for them. They were not a gift.

"I always need coins for my 44 oz Diet Coke."

"I figured I'd give them to you for five dollars."

"Okay."

"Huh. That's worth way more than five dollars!" Said Hick, who hadn't been consulted, taking his eyes off the deathtrap that is I-35 past Norman, on the way to Riverwind Casino.

"I don't recall asking you! But okay. I don't want to cheat The Pony. Let's see. How much is a roll of quarters? Twenty dollars? I can give you twenty dollars."

"OKAY! Thanks."

Let the record show that Val is out of practice rolling coins. Back in the day of operating an ongoing fundraiser to buy things for her classroom, by selling after-school sodas and snacks to students, she could have told you that a roll of quarters is TEN dollars. A fact remembered when I started counting up that baggie of coins on the way home.

It held $12.80. Darn that Hick! First he had to open his fat trap about the bag holding more than $5 worth of coins. Then he nodded that a roll of quarters is worth $20. I really don't want to believe that The Pony and Hick were in cahoots...
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I almost missed the first penny of the week. Actually drove right past Orb K on WEDNESDAY, March 6. I was preoccupied with my trash. My trash bill, specifically. A bill which I received, even though I paid for a full 12 months back in October. Dang it! I meant to go in Orb K and buy two scratchers by cashing in a $10 winner. Good thing the prison is conveniently on my route, with a wide entrance for making a U turn!

I went back to Orb K. It was only about a half mile. There was a line backed up to the door. Well. I'd made a U-turn to come back, so I wasn't walking out of there. When I was next-to-next in line, I saw A PENNY! Hiding under the energy supplement rack. The penny. Not me...

I couldn't get a closeup, but this Lincoln was face UP. I could have gotten a closeup, but then I'd have been flaunting my ample rumpus in the face of the guy behind me. Flaunting it more than Hick flaunting a $5000 house! I kept my dignity, and did without the closeup. The penny was a 2013, the year Genius graduated from high school. I'd just been texting him that morning, too.

When I was next in line, a new clerk opened up the other register. I pointedly refused, not wanting to give up my prime piece of real estate, convenient for nabbing that waiting penny while my clerk was getting my tickets. So I stayed behind the dude in front of me. You can see his arm, which kept trying to get in the way of my penny-picture. He bought a fifth of vodka and two cans of Skoal. Not that I'm judging.
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2019 Running Total
Penny   # 18.
Dime    still at  3.
Nickel  still at 2.
Quarter  still at 1.

2018 TOTALS
Penny  131
Dime  17
Nickel  6
Quarter  1

2017 TOTALS (Started in March, 2017)
Penny  78
Dime   6
Nickel  0
Quarter  0
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