Santa in September

We went to the casino on Monday, so I was trapped in A-Cad with Hick for three hours. Hick's phone is connected to A-Cad's radio. Every time he got a text or call, The Pony and I were privy to Hick's business. Actual business. It's not all that interesting. Especially the call to order more inventory of items Hick would be picking up in Illinois the next day.

The incoming calls were more gossip-worthy. The first was a man from the apartments.

"Are you comin' today?"

"No. I won't be there until tomorrow morning."

"Oh. Well. I just thought you should know, before somebody else tells you, that the window in the laundry room is open. I was out walking around, kind of inspecting the place even though it ain't my job, and I saw it. There's no screen in it. I had seen so-and-so in there earlier. So I thought you should know about that."

"Okay. I'll be there tomorrow morning. Talk to you then."

"Who was that, your informant?"

"Nah. There's one lady there he don't like. He complains about her and thinks I should have a talk with her."

"She might have been in there smoking. Or somebody. Why else would somebody leave a window open in the laundry room, in this heat?"

"She does get into some problems. I think she likes to drink. A lot. And probably smoke, but not cigarettes."

"There you go! That's why the window was open."

"She could do that stuff in her own apartment with the window open. I don't know why she'd go to the laundry room. Unless she was doing laundry."

Within 30 minutes, another resident called. A lady this time, but not the problem.

"Will you be here today?"

"No. I won't be there until tomorrow."

"Oh. Tomorrow? I was in the bathroom yesterday, and my curtain fell down off the window."

"I can fix it tomorrow. But I'm not going to be there today."

"Oh..."

"Okay? I'll see you tomorrow, then. Bye."

"This job takes SO MUCH TIME for things that are nothing. Why don't you just go over there all day, and let them sit on your lap like Santa Claus, and tell you everything they want?"

Hick was digging at his seat belt. At his real belt. At the holster that carries his phone. He took out the phone and pushed on it. "There. Now it's hung up."

"Heh, heh! Was she listening to me? I thought it shut off."

"She didn't hang up like the old guy did. I doubt she heard anything. She's got a caregiver who comes every day."

"Why can't the caregiver hang up her curtain? Isn't that what they do? Take care of things?"

"I would think so."

"And I don't think your job [for less than $300 a month] calls for you to hang up people's curtains. Or lecture them about getting along with each other."

"It don't. But they're always wantin' somthing from me, that's true."

On Tuesday, Hick went by the apartments. Of course he was there to have lunch at the Senior Center downstairs. But he put a screen on the window and closed it. And found out the caregiver had already hung up that woman's curtain."

"What about the old man? Did you give that lady a lecture for him?"

"No. When I talked to him, he'd forgotten why he called me! So I didn't bring it up. Just told him I put a screen in the window. He's 87 years old."

I wonder if I could get one of the elderly residents to call Hick and say they have a 2008 Chevy Tahoe that needs an oil change...