Once again, I've saved Hick from an untimely end. It's like a full-time unpaid job.
Wednesday night, he got home from bingo at 9:00. He said the big price was a ROOMBA, but he didn't take a picture, because it was a ROOMBA. He came close to winning. All he needed was B-10. They called B-11 and B-12, but no B-10. So no ROOMBA for Hick. Also, he ate the same shrimp in chili sauce that he had two weeks ago, last time he was there. Well. Not the EXACT SAME shrimp in chili sauce, because those were already eaten. But it might as well have been the EXACT SAME shrimp, because...
Hick came to the living room where I was watching The Amazing Race, and said,
"I brought you some cheesecake."
"Cheesecake? From where?"
"From the Center."
"From lunch today??? Where has it been since lunch?"
"In the car." [Hick drove A-Cad today instead of SilverRedO]
"NO THANKS! I don't feel like dying."
"Oh, there's nothing wrong with it."
"You can't leave cheesecake in a car for 9 hours!"
"Okay. If you don't want it, I'll eat it."
Hick went to the kitchen, and came back with a little styrofoam container of cheesecake.
"See? It's not real cheesecake. It's this kind."
"Looks like cheesecake to me. Except that it's three squares, instead of a slice."
Hick sat down in his recliner, and started forking the cheesecake.
"I can't believe you're eating that! I hope you wake up in the morning."
"It's fine, Val."
"And now you're ruining my show, because I can't concentrate, thinking about how I'll have to plan your funeral."
Then the most amazing thing happened, and it wasn't on The Race. Hick got up from the recliner, and said,
"Fine. I'll give it to the dogs."
"Set it by their snack bowl on the counter, and I'll give it to them tomorrow for their treat."
Yeah! I saved Hick from eating 9-hour-old cheesecake that had been sitting in a 72-degree car all day. Sometimes, he's like Homer Simpson and that big sandwich. [Youtube :59]
Or maybe he's just trying to kill me...
Is it all men? My guy has an iron gut and will eat 6 day old chicken leftovers.
ReplyDeleteWow! Have you submitted him to the Guinness Book of World Records? I'm not sure I would give 6 day old chicken to my dogs for their treat!
DeleteJust today, I discovered a lone burrito that came in a pack of six, in the freezer. I asked him if had any intention of eating it. I don't care for frozen Mexican foods. He looked aghast at me and said "It's freezer burned!" Then we discussed the timing on that burrito and decided he bought the package last year! He even said the last one he ate wasn't tasty. "So, why did you shove it to the back of the freezer?" I asked. His reply? "What did you want me to do with it?" I would expect him to throw it away, but since then I have thought of better things to do with it!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you will be shocked to hear that the grapes Hick got from the Senior Center when he got me the plums are STILL in FRIG II. The plums are long gone. I asked a couple days ago if he had any plans to eat the grapes, or if I should just throw them out. Hick said to throw them out. Because of course he is incapable of disposing of anything only HE knows he's finished with.
DeleteThat is like Tommy. He eats old anything. I describe the things that have happened to him in the past, and he quits eating. He thinks things to eat are impervious to heat in his car. That only happens to other people.
ReplyDeleteI just can't understand their reasoning! When I want to serve leftovers for a second night, Hick acts like I'm trying to poison him. But car cheesecake is fine!
DeleteYou need to mark the day in your diary. The Day He Listened!
ReplyDeleteI remember Homer Simpson and the big sandwich.
I was actually shocked that Hick was sitting there with the cheesecake and a fork, but didn't eat it! I guess the FUNERAL comment got through to him.
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