Hick the Mansplainer Makes It Clear as Mud for Val

Hick took it upon himself to explain how my phone works. Never mind that his phone is different, and he's never looked at mine. He can't seem to receive a phone call or text from me. At least that's what he tells me.

 

"I wish you'd answer your phone! I don't know why I'm paying for something I can't use. I must have called you four times this morning, to tell you a message from your doctor about you procedure tomorrow."

 

"I don't know why your phone don't work, Val. My phone gets calls from everyone but you."

 

"Exactly!"

 

"Well. I was at the barber when you first called."

 

"And you didn't answer? It could have been an emergency! I don't call you just to be calling."

 

"I couldn't answer! He was cutting my hair!"

 

"With the amount of hair you have, I can't believe the haircut lasted through three calls."

 

Later, I was in the kitchen bemoaning the fact that 50 years ago we could put a man on the moon, but NOW we can't even design a cell phone that will work inside a house.

 

"I don't know why you have so much trouble, Val. If mine does that, I just send it by msg."

"Mine does that automatically. Then shows it was sent that way."

"You have to do it yourself."

"No. I don't. Mine automatically sends it that way. It's done it before."

"Mine lets me change it. Bring me your phone. If you click on the message that won't send, it gives you the choice."

"Mine does NOT! I'm looking at it right now. My choices are DELETE and RESEND."

"It should give you the choice to send by msg."

"It doesn't! WAIT! What are you saying? MSG? That's...oh, my sides hurt... I can't get it out... MSG is the stuff they put in Chinese food to give it more flavor!"

"You know what I mean. Send it by msn."

"STOP! I can't! You are hilarious! MSN is a cable news network!"

"Here. Let me look it up on my phone. Send it by SMS!"

"Mine does that automatically. No choice given."

That Hick! He's kind of amusing sometimes.