Our Special Talents, Which Required No Training

I am sure you will not be surprised to hear that most of Thevictorian prizes won at the Christmas Eve Games at the home of my sister the ex-ex-mayor's wife... were earned with HOT AIR! That's right. Thevictorians are, apparently, champion blowhards!

Hick's long sausage, Crisp Kringles, and Dubble Bubble were all won at our first contest. Sis set up a row of 8 of those round flat candles along her kitchen bar. On either side of each candle, she placed a prize. The contestants had to stand at the end of the bar, hands behind back, and BLOW along that row of candles, to see how many they could extinguish. Only the consecutive blow-outs counted. If you skipped one and left it lit, the next blow-out didn't count. Only up to a still-burning flame.

I can't remember the specifics of who scored what. But we had three tries, since it kept repeating until all prizes were won. Hick was the third challenger, and I think he blew out SIX candles! Oh, he and The Pony also won $1 scratchers tickets, which turned out to be losers. I forgot them in our prize display.

This Blow-Hard contest is where I won my Gingerbread Kitchen Towel, and Dove chocolates, and Hershey Kiss/fingernail clipper combo. I also won a BIG PAPA, which was a giant dill pickle in a pouch of brine. But I gave it away to be won again, since I didn't think I'd eat it.

The Pony won his Antibacterial Gloves, Peace/Love Pot Holder, and Russell Stover chocolates in this contest. Oh, and there were also two booby prizes, which were a baggie of Babe's toenail clippings, and a baggie of Babe's Barbie hair pulled out of a brush. Heh, heh. Babe won her own toenails, and Niecy won the Barbie hair!

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The next contests were for teams. Couples could not be on the same team. Heh, heh! Did Sis think this was a punishment? I was THRILLED not to have Hick on my team!

Solo cups and styrofoam balls were the next contest materials. Sis said we each had to put Solo cups on our hands to make reindeer hooves, and use them to pick up six styrofoam balls from a bowl, and hand them to each other to be put in another bowl at the opposite end of the table, then transfer them back to the start. MY TEAM WON! I earned my Hazelnut Cookies here, and The Pony won his Gold Chocolate Coins.

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Fresh from passing "snowballs" with our hooves, my team was fired up for the ANTLER contest. We each got four small balloons to blow up, tie off, and give to our designated reindeer to stuff into a pair of pantyhose. Once full, the pantyhose "antlers" had to be put on the head of the stuffer. Niecy was our team stuffer. Which is kind of advantageous, because she has been known to cheat in almost every contest ever!

 

Here's Niecy at the moment we won. I have given her a tasteful Mardi Gras mask courtesy of Paint, to preserve her anonymity. There was a bit of controversy after we were declared the winners, because the ex-ex-mayor purported that we CHEATED, because you could see the toe of our pantyhose, it not being stuffed with a balloon. Too bad, so sad. He is also a well-known cheater. The tree doesn't let its apple fall far! I present Exhibit A below as evidence that his team also cheated!

 

That's 7-year-old Babe modeling the losing antlers. Which you can plainly see ALSO have a toe that is not stuffed completely. So there. (Sorry for the cowlick, Babe. My Paint skills leave a bit to be desired.)

 

Here's loser Hick, wearing the crown that came in his Christmas Popper thingy. I gave him some racing shades for a slim disguise. Babe is in the background, perhaps practicing for an attempt at robbing a convenience store with her pantyhose disguise.

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Back to individual competitions. We had to hold up a paper plate proclaiming TRUE or FALSE concerning Christmas song lyrics. The Pony and I tied, getting 17/20 correct. I conceded, and that's how he won the Ghiradelli Hot Chocolate Cup packet.

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The last individual competition was a contest I HAD PREVIOUSLY WON! How could Sis and Niecy be so careless? It's their goal to make me lose, yet they practically handed this one to me on a silver platter. I lost.

Everybody got a Solo cup. Babe walked around the room with an ice cube tray, distributing frozen Baby Jesuses. It was totally random which iceberged Baby Jesus you got. You could even ask for a certain one before she popped it out of the tray. My Baby Jesus was face down in that cube, his rumpus near the surface, but his left arm and leg deeply embedded.

In my previous win, which was at the BABY SHOWER before Babe was born, we could not touch our ice baby. Couldn't take it out of the cup. But this time, we could grab Baby Jesus and put our hands all over him. I tried my previous winning form, breathing on the ice baby, and swirling the cup. The winner this time was Babe's dad. HE took Baby Jesus out of the cup, and rubbed him on his jeans until Baby Jesus broke free. I'm pretty sure Babe is headed for a lifetime of cheating in contests such as this...

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Anyhoo... great fun was had by all at the 2021 Christmas Eve Games.