No, Val Did NOT Order the Crap Sandwich

Hick took me to the casino today, and as usual after such a trip, I am outraged by the behavior of the patrons! You'd think I'd quit going, wouldn't you, what with my blood pressure skyrocketing from my perceived slights every few weeks? Nuh uh. Ain't gonna happen. There are SLOT MACHINES there, by cracky! A few bad apples aren't going to ward off Val. She's much stronger than some weak vampire shying away from a garlic necklace.

We'll jump to the good part first. Because I'm sure you're all interested in how much money Val carted home. Yes, I risk losing you after the reveal. I'm like a for-sale cow giving the milk away for free. Who's gonna read to the end once they know the outcome? Oh, well. Here's the scoop. I brought home NO WINNINGS! There! Happy now? The suspense is over. I lost almost 1/3 of my casino bankroll today. Don't you worry about Val, though. She's still got that other 2/3 for next time. And any future scratcher profits that might be added.

HICK WAS A WINNER!

Oh, you don't know how it pains me to tell you that! Let the record show that at the allotted departure time, Val cashed out her tickets and looked all over the place for Hick. I called him, and he said that he'd just hit a bonus with 40 free games. Huh. So there I was, all cashed out with no place to go! Hick said we could stay another 15 minutes while he played his bonus, so I put some of my money back in an lost it. Anyhoo...

HICK WON $133.70 on his bonus spins! He left with all the money he started with, plus $110, he said, thanks to this last-minute bonus. Okay. Good for him. But we're not here to talk about Hick. Are you crazy? Hick can get his own blog if he wants people to read positive things about him! Nope. We're here today to talk about those casino ne'er-do-wells that are the bane of Val's existence.

I was supposed to meet Hick at the burger place at 11:30. That's when they open. I got there at 11:27, and Hick was not around. So I made a quick trip to the bathroom, and when I came back, he was sitting outside the burger area. Like on an indoor patio.

This picture doesn't show much, since Hick THE BIG WINNER didn't want to be shown. So you only get his shoulder. Anyhoo...this is just to illustrate how Hick had been on the other side of those windows, where there are tables sectioned off with a little wrought iron kind of fence. Sorry to the people I caught in the picture. They are not ne'er-do-wells that I know of. The point is that I was inside, Hick was outside, and in the time it took him to walk around to join me, two people walked to the ordering line ahead of us.

They looked kind of like they might live down the road from us. A Man and Gal, similar in age, dressed in the same manner. Out for a little Sunday gambling, player's card and food coupon clutched in the woman's hand.

Had Hick walked a little faster, we still might have beaten them. As it was, the couple showed a bit of hesitation. They took the route through the red velvet-look ropes that make the winding line orderly when it's busy. For one fleeting moment, I thought, "I could just step through here, right to the counter, while they're winding their way in." But I didn't. Because I'm a polite member of society, abiding by the unwritten social mores of our culture.

THESE PEOPLE DID NOT!

No sooner had they stepped up to the counter, with Hick and I in line behind them, than they turned to holler, "COME ON! HURRY! COME ON!" The Man motioned grandly with his arm, palm up, like swimming through the air. They were yelling and gesticulating to a man and two women just entering the outer door of the burger place. That trio ran over and BUTTED IN LINE!

I can't even say they butted in line, really, because they stopped at the counter on the other side of this Man and Gal. And they proceeded to order! Of course they couldn't get it straight. Kept changing what they told the little foreign guy behind the register. Might have helped if these folks had gotten IN LINE BEHIND US and looked at the menu on the wall. But they finally spit out their order, the trio man getting an "EYE-talian sandwich" instead of a burger.

As you can imagine, I was steaming mad. Hick told me to calm down. But the longer we waited, the more he started to mumble how rude that was, and how people think they can get away with anything these days. I was mad enough when I assumed they were running up there to cut in front of us because one person was paying. NO SIREE, BOB! The cutting couple paid, and then Man and Gal ordered, Gal paid, and then the third woman from the cutters ordered and paid. THAT'S BULLCRAP!

I was still grousing about it when their food came out, and they started complaining about not having enough fries. I clearly heard them ask for three orders of fries. Not five. Three. Our number was called, Hick went up, and returned without my fries! He said he was going back, and took the receipt. Lucky for all involved, Hick came right back with my fries. For a short moment, I had imagined those cutters going back and complaining and getting my fries!

I really hope those cutters and their enablers lost a lot of money. I don't think society would hold that wish against me.