You might recall that I made Chex Mix last week. I store it in plastic tubs. They happen to be Christmas themed tubs, but that's what I have on hand. They seal the freshness in very well. Hick set one on the table beside his La-Z-Boy. I made the mistake of telling him that when he's done, he can switch out his tub for another one. NOW HE'S DONE IT!
"Done" to Hick means that he's finished with it. Not that it's empty. It means that he's picked through that delicious Chex Mix, and eaten what he likes, and is done with that container. It means that there are almonds and Cheerios and broken Chex fragments left. But they're not his favorites.
Okay. I could deal with that. I like almonds. I'll eat the Cheerios. So I dumped the remains into the tub I'd been taking a tiny individual pie pan worth of Chex Mix out of each day. Jack Spratt's wife, kind of, making use of Hick's fat.
I do that because I'm selfless, you know. Can you imagine the kerfuffle if I would try to pass those remnants off on the homeless? Just ask Rebecca DeMornay down at the homeless center! I daresay I'd be pelted with muffin stumps and toilet books for my trouble.
Now here's another example of how selfless I am. I have been picking out the Bugles from my own container, and adding them to Hick's container. Because he LOVES the Bugles, you see. And I don't. But I would never leave a tub with only the bottom covered with Bugles, and move on to a new tub. No siree, Bob! I'd force myself to eat those Bugles first. So my tub is empty. But since my sometimes Sweet Baboo loves them, I am happy to provide him with extra Bugles.
Hick is kind of shifty sometimes. A few nights ago, I came upstairs unexpectedly. I think it was one of his auction nights, when he got home late, and was still up past 8:30. I walked past the La-Z-Boy, where Hick was reclined, munching on his tub of Chex Mix.
IT WAS FULL OF BUGLES!
I knew something was amiss. That very day, I had discovered my tub of Chex Mix missing, and found it perched atop Hick's tub of Chex Mix on the table beside his La-Z-Boy. I removed Hick's original tub, leaving mine in its place, and dumped his Chex leavings into a new tub that I would start for myself. So I KNEW that the tub on the table was not bulging with Bugles. There should have been just the normal amount, or less, since Hick had already been feeding out of it.
"Where did all those Bugles come from?"
"What Bugles?"
"All those Bugles in that tub you took from me. The one I've been picking Bugles OUT OF to give to you."
"Oh. These Bugles? I got them."
"From where?"
"That bag on the kitchen table."
"That bag in the box with the cereal and nuts and oil? For the next batch?"
"I guess so. They was in that bag."
"Well...I was planning on using it to make more Chex Mix. Bugles are hard to find. Walmart doesn't have them. Country Mart is the only place I've seen them. I was just there today. I would have gotten a new bag if I knew you were eating them."
"Well, I LIKE Bugles."
I let it slide. It was, after all, the first day of the rest of Hick's retirement. But in the future, I'm going to have to put my foot down. Hick will have to finish his Chex Mix completely before getting more. Otherwise, it will get worse and worse, until he's just picking out the Bugles and pecans and pretzels. What kind of crazy world would THAT be, where someone can just pick and choose which morsels of the Chex Mix they want to eat?
If Hick doesn't comply, he's going to get schooled on how to make his own Chex Mix. I think he might have a greater appreciation for it after bending over every 15 minutes for two hours, to take it out of the oven and stir it.
Yes, I've created this monster, and I am the one who must put an end to him.
Today I picked up a penny in a grocery store parking lot. I did so in your honor.
ReplyDeleteI AM honored! It must have been meant for you.
DeletePut the bugles under a towel.
ReplyDeleteI think that would work. Picking up a towel would seem like helping me clean up the kitchen. Hick is not one to use my vegetable brush scrubbing knives, either.
DeleteYes! Teach Hick how to make his own Chex Mix, then he can make it with just the ingredients he likes best and you can make your own batch with just the ingredients you like best. And then keep yours under lock and key...
ReplyDeleteIf only that would work! Hick would decide that he actually likes MY ingredients better. Genius is like that, too. Doesn't want something until somebody else had asked for it.
DeleteVal--And you thought you had retired from teaching... You are going to have teach many lessons in the days and weeks and months and years to come.
ReplyDeleteTee hee. The fun has already started...
Yes, I nearly passed out from all the fun I was having this morning, cleaning off the back of the toilet.
DeleteDid you really expect Hick to suffer through bugleless (or low bugle) Chex Mix?
ReplyDeleteHe almost suffered through a Diet Mountain Dewless, strawberry waterless day yesterday, when I "forgot" to put his drinks in FRIG II to chill for him. I figure he drank one hot for lunch, then stocked them himself. Oh, wait! He had lunch out, at White Castle. Near his work town.
DeleteI put sodas in when he was working, if I saw the top shelf barren of them, because I figured that maybe he forgot, or was in a hurry to get to work. Now he has no excuse.
Yes Bugles are hard to find, I have been on that search with Cindy. It appears at the rate the Bugles are vanishing you may be forced to make Bugleless Chex Mix... I just don't know what this world is coming to.
ReplyDeleteMy mom's original recipe is Bugleless. She called it "Scrambles" on the top of her list. I guess the Chex people promoted it back then. Maybe the recipe was on the box.
DeleteSeems like every time I go to the store, another of my favorites has gone missing. Remember those little round crackers with a texture like a waffle, and bright orange kind of powdery fake cheese in between? My mom and dad loved those, and I haven't seen them in many years. Probably just as well. They're not a wise choice.
Jack Spratt and his wife. ha ha ha ha. You never cease to make me chuckle. Tell Hick you licked them, then maybe he'll leave them alone. If all else fails, hide them in an almond container.
ReplyDeleteHick would probably just say, "Well, they're dry now."
DeleteGenius used to do that with potato chips, when he was 5. I remember him after school, wandering the halls of my high school, asking the basketball coach, "Hey, Coach Ass..."(slight speech impediment there) "...do you want a chip? I licked all the salt off of them." At least he was truthful in his advertising.
I know what you mean about products disappearing from the shelves, never to be seen again. My Walmart did a remodel and made the aisles wider. I wondered what would be eliminated from product lines to make that happen. Seems like they are eliminating the Great Value and Equate stuff. I bought their product line because it was cheaper, but made by name brands. They brought back fabric, but just enough to tease you with, not a good selection. Remember Sunshine brand cookies? They made a raisin biscuit that I loved. The Winn Dixie chain in the south still carried it for awhile and my dad would send them to me, but the only place I have found is on-line in Great Britain. They must go well with tea.
ReplyDeleteNOOOO! I will have to stock up on my Great Value Sugar Free Cherry Limeade powder! I only have about four packs on hand...each one filled with six packets that supposedly contain eight servings.
Delete