The Semi-Monthly Excursion to Throw Away Our Money

Last week was casino time again. I'd like to think of it as a 90-minute drive (each way) to procure my new Future Pennyillionaire Fortune goblets. But we hit the road with the casino as our destination. Goodwill was just a side trip.

We were not off to a good start when I plopped my ample rumpus into A-Cad's passenger seat, only to discover IT HAD BEEN MOVED! I was looking up at the ceiling like an astronaut prepared for launch! Before Hick even put it in reverse, I made him wait until I adjusted the seat to my liking. Not back like it had been. You know how THAT is impossible. You can get it close, but it's never just like you wanted it.

"WHO has been in my seat?"

"I don't know."

"You're the one who's been driving it for two weeks, since your surgery. And you don't know who sits beside you in the my car? Do random people jump in? Maybe walk by and open the door and mess with the seat?"

"Nobody has been in here but you."

"You just took your Cancer Girlfriend to the city! SHE did it, didn't she!"

"No."

"Then who else could have moved my seat?"

"I don't know."

"I'm not falling for that. I TOLD you that you had to tell your Cancer Girlfriend not to move my seat! And to shake your finger at her for emphasis when you told her."

"I didn't tell her that."

"Technically, Dad, it was probably her. But Mom, it's only a seat. You got it moved back--"

"YOU'RE the one who was in here last! When I drove you to the urgent care with your earache. It was early. So YOU must be the one who did it, because you were sleepy."

"Heh, heh! See there, Pony? How you were the one trying to stick up for Dad, and he TURNED ON YOU! I don't know why you bother to take his side."

The Pony kind of smirked, and turned his palms up, like whatcha gonna do, it's Dad.

The rest of the trip commenced without incident. We played slots a while, and stopped for lunch. I don't have all the meals this time, because Hick and I just went with the burgers, and curly fries/tater tots. The Pony, however, had the fried catfish.

 

He also got tater tots, which are hard to distinguish from the catfish nuggets. The catfish was very good. It came with tarter sauce, which was not nearly as good as my homemade version. It had something extra twangy in it that made you pucker with the aftertaste. Maybe vinegar? But it was better than NO tarter sauce. As you see, The Pony ate his Oreo pie before I could get a photo. But don't you worry...

 

 

Hick also had the Oreo pie again. I just had to take a picture, to prove that Hick always gets the BEST pie in the cold case. I don't know why those ladies cater to him like that! If I'd wanted pie, I imagine mine would have been half that size.

Anyhoo... we finished up losing our money, and left for home. We'd gone an hour earlier, to make it home before dark in these daylight-losing-time months. I think The Pony was the biggest loser, and Hick and I tied for second. I wasn't too disappointed, money-wise, since I still had a big chunk of my casino bankroll that I cashed out to bring back another day.

I WAS a bit perturbed that the announcer kept announcing "WE HAVE ANOTHER BIG WINNER!" and it was never me, The Pony, or Hick! I had started over to the money machines to cash out my ticket. Right beside the Gold Gold Nugget slot that I like to play stood a man and a casino staff member. He was getting a handpay! That means $1,200 or more. A handpay is required, rather than just cashing out a ticket, because the federal government wants its taxes NOW, and paperwork must be done for withholding.

Anyhoo... I was pretty mad that a guy was getting a jackpot on "my" machine, until I saw that it was the slot next to it, where The Pony likes to play Buffalo Gold. But The Pony had no reason to get his nose out of joint, either, because they had taken out the Buffalo Gold and put in a new slot there! I don't recall what it was. Nothing I'd seen before.

No, my nose DID get out of joint, but that was for something much more sinister, which you'll hear about tomorrow...