We left for the casino at 9:30 a.m. I pretty much kissed Hick's out-for-delivery vintage muscle car calendar goodbye. I was sure it would arrive before we got back home. While I didn't know exactly where one of the assorted FedEx drivers would leave it, past experience spun the dial, and pointed at A DOG ACCESSIBLE LOCATION. Oh, well. It wasn't all that expensive. Somewhere around $12.98. If it got chewed, it got chewed. Hick would still have the vintage truck calendar, which had arrived safely with his shotgun-shell-ridden trifold wallet.
Of course I got the dreaded notification email shortly after we arrived at the casino.
Hi VAL THEVICTORIAN. Your package from CABELAS LLC was delivered on Wed, 12/09/2020 at 11:43am. Delivered to [correct address for Thevictorians, which I'm not about to reveal]. Left at front door.
Let the record show that the part with the address and location was in teeny-tiny print, down below the green bubbles on the timeline that are checked off at each step of the delivery. So I didn't even see that part, because I was playing slots, with my glasses on top of my head, when I checked that email.
Anyhoo... we got home after the sun went down. Still dusk, but getting darker by the minute. I'd told Hick and The Pony to be on the lookout for a package as we came up the driveway.
"If Jack got it, there might be pieces in the front yard. Like with Genius's bison leather wallet, monogrammed, with RFID blocker, from Sharper Image..."
Nobody saw anything. As I was putting my sunglasses and water bottle and jacket back in T-Hoe, Hick got on the Gator to drive around the grounds. The Pony circled the porch.
"I didn't see anything, Mom. I went all the way around. I even looked in the dog houses on the other end of the porch. Because sometimes Jack sleeps in there. It was pretty dark. So I'm getting my phone to shine a light in there, and I'll look again."
He came back with nothing. Hick came in from his Gator tour.
"I didn't see nothin'! It wasn't in the back of the Gator. Not on top of The Pony's car. Not in the back of the truck. Not in the garage. Not even over by the BARn. Nothing anywhere in the yard or field. Nothing over by the hay bales where Jack has a hole where he sleeps at night."
"I don't know where it could be. It says it was delivered at 11:43. Unless... wait a minute! The phone is flashing. Remember when they left your diabetic machine thingy down at the German shepherd's house? Maybe..."
I played the message. It was the lady who lives down at the house with the German shepherd (and her husband too, of course). "This is German Shepherd Lady. A package for you got left on my porch. I'll put it on top of my JEEP, and your husband can drive down and get it."
MYSTERY SOLVED!
Which doesn't let FedEx off the hook. This German Shepherd House is not even on the same road! It's a half mile away. Our road has a sign before you get to the German Shepherd House. Hick says GPS will bring you right to our driveway. So I don't know how a FedEx driver could make such a mistake. Other than GROSS INCOMPETENCE AND LAZINESS!
Not a fan of FedEx.
Oh, and looks like if Hick's vintage muscle car calendar HAD been delivered to our very own front porch... I wouldn't have needed to worry.
No way was Jack getting his tiny mouth around THAT box. Looks like
Cabela's is as good at packing merchandise as FedEx is at delivering it.
It feels like I am watching out for deliveries also. Your deliveries are much more exciting.
ReplyDeleteI wish they were boring! Routine! Nothing to mouth-foam about!
DeleteWe had a raccoon get a very expensive computer part, try explaining that to the parts people.
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope he washed it first... Maybe he should also have washed it last. So you couldn't dust if for his tiny fingerprints.
DeleteI've gotten packages from FedEx that are so full of dust and dirt and smell like exhaust (had to leave them on the back steps to air out) that I'm pretty sure there's a hole in the floor of the truck. But they do deliver to the right place. Ranee (MN)
ReplyDeleteWe've gotten them smashed, and opened, and with tire tread, but not one that smells! Maybe they have a squirt bottle of stuff like Liquid Smoke, an exhaust fragrance that they mist on your packages.
DeleteJust be glad it is not the USPS delivering your packages. I've had a package I ordered in the middle of November traced to THE CITY I LIVE IN (actually a suburb of it but still only about 15 miles away) since December 1. When I check the tracking info all I see is that it is still being delivered but running late. Someone may owe me a refund before this is over.
ReplyDeleteA couple years ago, the USPS lost A BOX OF BOOKS. Books from a publisher, with my story included in those books. The last scan was at a post office in St. Louis. Then it disappeared. Never found it. The publisher replaced them for me. The USPS's give-a-darn was broken.
DeleteIs that a calendar, or an actual muscle car?
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! From the size of that box, Hick might get his hopes up if he reads this, thinking I'm lying to fool him about a calendar.
DeleteFedEx delivered a package to our house that was for somebody else at a different address. The address doesn't even exist. Don't know about the person. Guess we can't blame that on FedEx though but the sender.
ReplyDeleteDid you get to keep it? Because if I went to all the trouble to track down a phone number for FedEx, and spent my valuable time (when I could have been doing absolutely nothing) trying to do the right thing... I'd expect a little compensation.
DeleteAny self respecting, tiny dog could chew that up in a bit.
ReplyDeleteJack's mouth is so tiny, I'd think not. But today Hick said that Jack had chewed up a 5-gallon plastic bucket over by the hay bales where he sleeps beside the goat pen. Started around the rim, progressed in a spiral pattern over a few days, down to the bottom, and is now working on that disc.
DeleteIf Jack could get a flap loose, or gnaw off a corner, he'd make short work of the cardboard box.
I was about to say I'm glad we don't have FedEx here, but then remembered I have seen a van or two over the years, with FedEx on the sides. Most of our stuff is delivered by Toll or Star Trak and they are very reliable. Of course I'm within city limits, not out in the sticks where a driver could daydream his way along a quiet country road and miss a sign or three.
ReplyDeleteI'd be more distracted by city traffic than a daydream on a country road. Good thing I'm not a delivery driver! Funny how it happens to SO MANY different delivery drivers.
DeleteDaughter had apackage delivered on her walkway, nowhere near her front porch. These people toss the goods. Glad you found yours.
ReplyDeleteIt's becoming a new sport around here: package hunting.
Delete