Darn that Hick! Why can't he stick to his OWN hobbies? You don't see me going out and selling guns, do you? I think not! I shan't horn in on Hick's business. And I'll thank him to quit dabbling in MINE!
Monday, Hick went to the casino without me. I knew he was going. I could have ridden along. His main purpose was to talk to his gun lady at the pawn shop down in Casino Town. The Pony and I both agreed that we will NOT veer from our schedule of a casino trip every two weeks. Too soon! We sat this one out.
Hick had said he may not even go by the casino, but I knew he would. Who drives 90 minutes to spend 15 minutes buying merchandise for resale, then comes home? Not Hick. Of course he went by the casino. He said he got to town early, and went there to kill time before his 12:30 rendezvous with the gun lady.
"I played them games you tell me are garbage. [Not true, Val would never call a SLOT MACHINE garbage.] Them ones with a 30-cent bet. I was getting ready to leave, and put my last twenty in a machine. I don't even know what kind it was. I was on a 30-cent bet, and I hit a bonus and won $50! It wasn't quite all my money back, but it was most of it. So I cashed it out and left."
"Well. How nice for you."
"I tell ya, if you'd just play like I do--"
"Um. How many big jackpots have you won?"
"I ain't won NO big jackpots."
"Exactly. After you've won a big jackpot, I might listen to your advice. But I doubt it. You play the way you like, and I'll play the way I like."
"I'm just tryin' to help you, Val."
"I do okay."
"Oh, and on the way down there, I stopped to go to the bathroom at the LOVE truckstop, and I bought some lottery tickets out of the machine. I got a $5, and two $2s, and a $1. They're out in the car. I'll have The Pony scratch them for me later."
WHAT THE ACTUAL NOT-HEAVEN???
Why would anybody buy scratchers if they're not going to scratch them? What's the fun in THAT?
Anyhoo... The Pony sent me a text a couple hours later.
"Dad won $25 on a $2 ticket!"
I guess Hick is meant to be a low-roller. He also won a free ticket on his $1 scratcher. I suppose tomorrow he will be offering me advice on how to play scratchers.
Hick will be a fount of wisdom.
ReplyDeleteOne that never goes dry!
DeleteAlways listen to your husband!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'll LISTEN! But I might not hear. I won't be pickin' up what Hick's layin' down.
DeleteI feel your pain. I have my own advice giver who insists his way is the best and only way. When we were married, he would insist on carrying my money or bus pass or keys in his pockets because they were safer than my pockets.
ReplyDeleteIf there's carrying to be done, Hick insists I do it. He can't be burdened. It might take energy he needs for dispensing advice. Also, he can blame ME for anything he can't find.
Delete