Sunday, September 15, 2019

Casino Chatter

I've been holding out on you. It's true. I went to a casino and didn't keep you informed. I know how you love to hear about my casino trips. Some of you like to live vicariously through Val. Some like to feel superior to a gambler. Some want to hear about my lunch. Some like to feel superior to a junk-food eater. Some like to try to gather evidence to report me to the IRS. (Heh, heh! That's a JOKE, IRS. No need to read further.) Yes, writing about my casino trips is a win-win-win-win-win situation. Except for losing money.

Last Sunday was rainy, and bad for Storage Unit Store business. So Hick asked if I wanted to go to the casino. Not my new favorite, but the one in the city where my burger is questionably cooked, and I get rotten fries occasionally. Of course I agreed. I don't have any pictures this time.

I was in line, waffling between the burger and the giant hot dog sausage, when Hick turned around and said, "There's your buddy." It was the order-taker who always uses my MyCash when I don't want to use it for food, and who mysteriously makes my burger come out over-cooked. I knew right then I was getting the giant hot dog. It was delicious, and my fries were unrotten. Hick had a burger which was UNdercooked, and onion rings.

I had a good time throwing away my money. Unlike usual, I hit three or four bonuses, from $81 to $151. Just like usual, I used that money to gamble further. That's why they call it gambling, not CASHING OUT AND SAVING! When the day was done, I'd incurred a loss of $40. Actually, $39 and change. I didn't even mind, because my casino bankroll is still healthy, and I had fun with the bonuses. If I hadn't kept feeding one machine, thinking it would pay me back, I'd have left with a couple hundos. Oh, well. It's like the fishing tale of the one that got away. IF you spend $39 and change on bait, and allow your big fish to jump back in once they're in the boat.

The only thing that marred my casino experience was Chatty Daffy. He was a dude sitting next to me at Wonder 4 Towers. It's hard enough to find that game open. I'd have played there even if I knew what he'd be like in advance. Anyhoo... of all the times I've played this slot, in many different casinos, I've only hit the TOWER feature twice. And one of them was this very day.

As you might imagine, I was excited. I got that TOWER feature after just a few spins. I settled back, to watch my bonus play out. Chatty Daffy just had to strike up a conversation.

"Oh! You got the tower!"

"Uh huh."

"I never get the tower. Good luck."

"Thanks."

You'd think he might have sensed how I wasn't in a talky mood, so abrupt was I, barely responding, at a level just above ignore. But he didn't, he chatted on and on, commenting on each spin, about what I won, and how he and the lady on the other side of him had been doing. I just nodded, trying to enjoy my TOWER bonus. Only the second one of my lifetime, you know.

As it turned out, my tower went up to the next-to-top level. Didn't pay me much. I think around $18 and change. That's a travesty. The lowest bet (which I was playing) was $1.60 a spin. I didn't mind so much, though, because at least I got the TOWER bonus, and had a chance for a good win.

What I minded was Chatty Daffy thinking I was there to make a new friend. Or that I needed his play-by-play on my bonus. I'm sure some people would have chatted with him and enjoyed it. Not me. I can find any old weirdo to come up and talk to me unwantedly for FREE, by cracky! I don't want conversation when I'm paying to entertain myself.

13 comments:

  1. I think gambling would be fun if I didn't always lose...I mean always.

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    1. You and Hick seem to have the same experience.

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  2. Yeah I blew a couple of bucks on a useless Powerball ticket yesterday so I'm not going to criticize you this time, Val.

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    1. Snootily sticking my nose in the air, I declare, "I don't buy Powerball tickets! The odds are terrible."

      Okay. When the jackpot gets really high, and I hear about it in the news, I might buy a two Powerball tickets.

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    2. Our Powerball this week has jackpotted to $150 million. Do I have tickets? You bet your boots I do!

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  3. A casino is not a place to make new friends!

    I lost $28 today at the track. If it wasn't for
    "Scoopupthecash" It would have been a real bad day.

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    1. Maybe he thought I'd need a new best friend when I hit a huge jackpot.

      I've never been to the track. I wonder if my penchant for choosing profitable scratchers would transfer to horses. My parents and my sister the future ex-mayor's wife went to the dog track in Florida when they attended Cardinals spring training for a couple years. I'm pretty sure they were just spectators, not wagerers.

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    2. When I see a horse named "Ladybug" I'm going to bet an extra $2!

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    3. YES! You should! Or one named "Slaw."

      Dang it! I just remembered a dream I had last night, about assorted ladybug merchandise. It didn't benefit me in any way, but today, Hick won $35 on scratchers, after spending $10. He NEVER wins! And today, I won $0. It's like that time Elaine turned into George...

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  4. Turn to face him head on, blank face, lower your eyelids to half mast and go "whaaaaa" and try to drool a little. That should stop him.

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    1. Heh, heh! Or make him call security to get me an ambulance.

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  5. I am the same way. Don't need a recap. I'd rather be left alone when I play, but there is always someone who radars in on my ability to attract them.

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    1. Your magnetic pull is strong. Hick often relates conversations he has with fellow slotters. I don't know if he's just being his congenial self and responding to them, or if he's THAT GUY who starts the talking.

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