Sunday, April 16, 2017

I Thought I Might Have to Bake a Pie Right There and Slice It into Sections


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"Ahem! Hrumph! Ek ek ek ek!" Val demands your attention, clears her elderly throat of phlegm, tries out her newest language of DOLPHIN, and pulls her shawl closer around her shoulders. "You're not going to believe what happened to me on Friday when I tried to buy my prune juice 44 oz Diet Coke!"

Seriously, people. OMG! IDK WTF is wrong with these young whippersnappers today! IMO, if you want something done right, then you have to DIY. BTW, I imagine the most common POV of those young convenience store clerks that day was not TGIF, but "Why do I have to work on Good Friday?"

Let the record show that Val was not asking them to use a slide rule, write John Nash mathematical equations on a mirror, revamp Einstein's Theory of Relativity, devise a non non-Euclidean geometry, or even calculate the value of a penny if you start the month with one, and double your money every day. No. She was only trying to pay for her 44 oz Diet Coke with correct change, and trade in a winning lottery ticket for more.

Let the record show that the price of a 44 oz soda (with tax) at that store is $1.26. Val had in her hand a dollar, a quarter, and a penny. That's $1.26.

Val also had one winning scratch-off ticket that paid $40. It's not like the kids with their employee name tags had to look at the front and determine which numbers matched. No siree, Bob! All they had to do was hold the bar code of that ticket under their scanner, and the winning amount would pop up on their monitor.

Little Lord Clerkleroy got this part right. He scanned my winning ticket, and said, "You have $40."

"Thank you. I'd like a Frenzy, a Fifty Times, and a Blowout, and I'll take the other ten in cash. I have correct change for my soda."

See how simple that was? Those are three $10 tickets I wanted to buy. Little Lord Clerkleroy tore them off and laid them on the counter. He rang up a receipt for $40 and stapled it to my winner. That's their standard procedure. All he had to do next was ring up my three tickets I was purchasing, which he did. But he also added my soda to that total. Which is fine. I handed him my correct change.

"There. That's the correct change for my soda."

"Okay. I owe you $8.74 cents."

"No. I just gave you the money for my soda. You're holding it in your hands. You owe me a ten back from my ticket."

"No. Your ticket was a $40 winner, and you bought three $10 tickets. And the soda."

"Yes. And I handed you the right amount to cover my soda. I just need my change back on the tickets."

A girl clerk was fiddling around in the ticket case. " had a $40 winner, and you bought three $10 tickets and a he owes you back $8.74."

"No...I handed him correct change for the soda. He's still holding it. So I need my three $10 tickets I bought and $10 back from my $40 winner."

I swear. You'd have thought I was trying to rip off a bank, and they were stalling for their under-counter panic button to bring the police, while they nonverbally sparred over who would put the dye pack in the money bag.

An older (not older than ME, mind you, but older than them) woman stepped in behind them. She must have been the manager. "I see. You owe her $10." She reached into Little Lord Clerkleroy's open drawer, and pulled out a ten, and handed it to me, and shoved the tickets my way. "Sorry for the confusion, Ma'am."

Little Lord Clerkleroy was not going gently into that good transaction. "No. I owe her $8.74."

"I'm sorry. All I did was try to pay for the soda with correct change, to make it EASIER. I sure won't try THAT again!"

"Oh, no, Ma'am. It's fine. See?" She turned to Little Lord Clerkleroy. "She won $40. Bought $30. And gets $10 back. Because she PAID FOR THE SODA WITH CASH. It's in your hand."

At least that girl clerk might be excused, because she DID figure that amount in her head without looking at a register. And she may not have been looking up when I handed Little Lord Clerkleroy the cash. Kids these days! If it's not on a device and it's not digital, they're at a loss.

Let's hope their power doesn't go down.


  1. Sometimes I think their batteries have ALL gone dead!!

  2. If we lose power millions of young people will bw left in the dark, literally and MENTALLY.

    1. Well, they won't be talking to each other, because they don't know how. They even texted each other while sitting side by side in the cafeteria!

  3. You should have taken the $8.74 and then asked for the $1.26 that was in her hand back "So I don't pay twice tor the soda."

    Perhaps the light would have gone off then...probably not.

    1. Yeah, probably not. He might have accused me of trying to get the soda for free.

  4. Val--
    I know when I give some odd amount--say my bill is $4.76 and I give the cashier $5.01, sometimes the cashier looks at me in an odd way, probably thinking, 'They gave me too much.' But then they enter in the amount and see they only need to give me a quarter back.

    Yes, our young people are not always setting the world on fire.

    I can't figure out why Little Lord Clerkleroy tried to push the matter with the manager.

    Maybe--since you're retired--you could set up some little workshops for the cashiers in your area. You've got the time...

    1. Little workshops? Let me see...NO! I don't have nearly enough patience for that, even with my many years of experience being patient with young whippersnappers.

      I think maybe he might have been related to the in-charge lady? Of course, with the young whippersnappers these days feeling so entitled to getting their way...maybe not.

  5. Tried that at the Dollar Store today. The poor gal was so confused I took the change back. Have fun at the slots.

    1. Yeah, I always try to tip them off with something like " I don't get a handful of change back." One of these days, they're not going to give me ANY change back.

  6. The local teens will come in here looking for a job from time to time. I will hire them to do odd jobs like cleaning out fire pits, scrubbing down shower walls, weed eating, mowing, etc. All things that I will do myself. But, they feel they are too qualified for that, they tell me they would prefer to work in the store, behind the counter. Handling MY money. I ask them if they know how to count change back and I am always treated to a blank look. They do not know how, have absolutely no idea what to do unless the register gives them an amount. And even then, you can't be sure they will count out the correct change. Math skills are sorely lacking in the recent graduates around here.

    1. That's what I don't get about this generation. They feel so ENTITLED to the best of everything, without putting in the effort.

      I'm sure you usually have a spare pie sitting around that you could use to teach them counting skills! And all that spare time to devote to smartening up the workforce that will be wiping our butt in a nursing home.