Monday, September 21, 2015

Aren't Y'all a Little Late With That Intervention?

Hark! Do you hear what I hear?

Said the Hick man to the lovely Val
Do you see what I see
Over by the Sword Shack, lovely Val
Do you see what I see
A shed, a shed
Standing so upright
With jars on a shelf to this height!
With jars on a shelf to this height!

Said the lovely Val to her old man Hick
Do you hear what I hear
Ringing through the air, old man Hick
Do you hear what I hear
A snap, a snap
Of the ol' purse strings
No shed over my dead body
No shed over my dead body

Yeah. Do you hear what I hear? It's not the pounding of a hammer as for building a special shed to house jars and bottles. That's Hick's latest plan. He sprang it on me yesterday, when I was still weak as a kitten with my sickness. The latest plan, from the man who can't build his wife a writing shack out back, but has, since telling her to go to Lowe's and pick one out, built a Sword Shack, made space for a bottle house, and contemplates a new cabin up on the other property by the creek where the rocks were dug out, making a waist-deep swimming hole.

You might hear something. That would be a power saw. Hick had his oldest boy bring him some giant pallets, and he found out he couldn't hammer them apart. So he spent yesterday afternoon sawing through nails.

He really needs to get a business license and charge admission.

12 comments:

  1. His activities might be questionable but his energy is impressive.

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  2. Hick could be like that Bob Ross, except instead of oil paintings, he will create outbuildings before the audience's very eyes,,,

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  3. Does Hick ever accomplish anything (& I use the word "accomplish" with the widest definition possible)?

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    1. Hick accomplishes starting a lot of projects.

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  4. Y' know, if he could link all those buildings (sheds) together, he might win some kind of architectural award. Or something. Better not mention it to him.

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    1. Then he would build vestibules and foyers and annexes. Oh. my!

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  5. People these days are in the market for tiny houses, aka sheds. Just think, he could build and sell themed sheds. You could also find yourself overrun with squatters this winter if the word gets out about your out buildings. I did not say out houses.

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    1. Yes, and those people are paying up to $100,000 for their little wheeled shacks that are not even as functional as a camper trailer!

      HIck builds outhouses, too. Come and get 'em!

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  6. I am quite sure he can justify every single out house he builds. Just as mine can justify every trip to the hardware store for things that are sure to fix all the crap that remains in a state of needing repair.

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    1. Of course he can. But he can't build me a writing shack because he doesn't understand what I want. Even though I drew him a plan. Let the record show that my team always wins at Pictionary.

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