Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Scared the Brown Right Offa Him, I Tells Ya!



Mother Nature went on a rampage last night. Mother Nature does not appreciate being ignored. I didn’t get to bed until 2:30 a.m., and by 3:00, the thunder and lightning woke me. Actually, it was the wind whipping the raindrops against the front wall of the house that woke me, finally a-snooze on the back side of the homestead. I guess that’s the sound that makes me worry. More so than run-of-the-mill lightning and thunder.

“We’ll just have to blow away. I’m too tired to get up and check for tornado warnings.”

My sweet baboo lent me an ear. “No tornado. My phone would have given me the alert. I didn’t hear it.” Let the record show that this is from the man who sleeps with a quilt over his head. A man who cannot hear my normally-spoken words when I sit right next to him in a waiting room.

“Did you check it for alerts?”

“No. I guess I could.” We wouldn’t want Hick to overexert himself taking five steps to the bathroom, where his phone charges overnight on the counter. “No. No tornadoes. Just thunderstorms.”

“I hope my rocking chair, my rocking chair that I used for rocking Baby Genius, the rocking chair you put on the front porch to make room for the piano…won’t be coming through the front window.”

“That rocking chair ain’t goin’ nowhere.” Still, I heard Hick stump his way to the front door to look out. I imagine his hair, if he had any, would have been forced back like that of the 1970s Maxell stereo guy in the chair.

This morning, we found many small branches that had been separated from their limbs. They littered the field and the gravel road. The creek wasn’t up. More wind than rain, I guess.

I suppose Even Steven knows Mother Nature. She must have wanted to apologize for her bad behavior, taking off those branches. On the way to work this morning, I saw a sight that gave me pause. Actually, it didn’t give me pause, because I was driving, and could not stop in the middle of the road for a picture.

“LOOK! AN ALBINO SQUIRREL!”

The Pony saw it, but had no time to snap it. At least he can verify my story. That pale critter scampered down a tree trunk and darted across the yard of an upper-class home in the lake subdivision.

Maybe Mother Nature likes rich folks better. Or they know where to buy albino squirrels.

11 comments:

  1. My daughter had a White Squirrel in her yard in NC, but she moved and the squirrel stayed put.

    This lady is collecting information on white squirrels.
    http://www.untamedscience.com/biodiversity/white-squirrel/

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    1. Who knew you were so squirrelly? I submitted my info. Let the record show that Val is always willing to lend her fingers to scientific research.

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  2. I've never seen an albino squirrel. Glad you guys weathered the storm okay.

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    1. After looking at Joe's squirrel site, I might not have seen a true albino! I might have seen a MORPH! Still, it looked just like an eastern gray squirrel, only white.

      I was not close enough to see the reds of its eyes, so I can't prove the albinism. Those things scamper pretty fast down a tree and across a yard when one is driving 10 miles over the speed limit.

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  3. That albino squirrel? That's a sign.

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    1. On the off chance that you are not baiting me, I had to consult my BFF Google! You mean like good luck? Like that UT squirrel on the Texas campus? Or some sign like this gal mentions across the pond, on the ISLAND of England?

      I don't know about a sign, but I saw that white squirrel Wednesday morning, the same day we closed on Mom's house, where I picked up a substantial check. Which some might consider good fortune. ;)

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    2. https://mrssmartybreeks.wordpress.com/2014/05/31/the-white-squirrel-a-mutant-with-a-message/

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  4. Mother nature let her hair down here, too, but the chairs on the front porch stayed put. An albino squirrel. You sure it wasn't the cat in your header? If it really was an albino, I'd be wondering of your oldest were tinkering with the O board.

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    1. My poor kitty has been gone a long time. The neighbors took her, according to Hick, whom she hated, and in fact sliced his arm with a needle-sharp kitten claw when he tried to coax her out of the pet carrier when we first brought her home. That was the high point of their relationship.

      I hope "taken by the neighbors" is not Hick's version of "went to live on a farm."

      I have heard no more of the O board. I have also heard no more from Genius. If he doesn't contact me wanting money soon, I might start to worry.

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  5. I think you should be working on a collection of nothing but Hick stories.

    That could even be the title (but I expect some residuals).


    "Nuttin' But Hick."

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    1. Well, Madam, I might as well unhang my shingle and turn off the lights if everyone demands a cut of my action! Whatever happened to flattery being the sincerest reaction to imitation? You should be flattered if I use your title! Only this, and nothing more.

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