When it rains, it pours. Unless you're Val. When it rains, it's a deluge. Bigger than a mere downpour. Almost out of control. Like...rain for 39 days and 39 nights. Rain on Val's parade, rain on Val's tin roof, rain on a new suede jacket with a pink-and-white striped lining.
Let the record show that Val has had a lot on her green metal camping plate (cost: $1) lately. And today her plate was full of rain! Overflowing with rain. Torrential rain. Yet not literal rain.
The week was going to be busy from the get-go. First full week back on the job, an appointment for The Pony, the closing on Mom's house, jury duty papers to turn in at work, Hick's bidding to do, AND A GARAGE FULL OF FURNITURE to find room for.
Yesterday at 4:30 I found out that the office gal had given me the wrong date for The Pony's appointment. IT WAS TODAY. So I hastily arranged to take the first of my 100 sick days last evening. Yeah. I could make it work.
The more you anticipate a day off, the more off your day will be. So sayeth Val Thevictorian.
I took The Pony to school. Turned in my paperwork. Got ready to leave.
I was delayed until my replacement showed up.
I went home to put away some inherited stuff.
Genius sent a text. He was in a texting mood. Far be it from Val to crush the needy needs of her child.
Sis sent a text. Needed me to call bank with info for escrow, so we can close on house tomorrow.
Called bank. Gave info.
Went to basement to wrap camera lens to ship to Genius.
Bank called for more info. Which was upstairs. Hiked up and gave info.
Hick sent a text. Cousin doesn't want house contents now.
Sent a text to Sis with Cousin info.
Sis called me with instructions to meet her and sign bank paperwork.
Got email from lawyer.
Got text from Hick regarding email from lawyer.
Left for post office (dead mouse one) at 11:30. Closed until 12:00. Waited. Mailed package.
Met Hick and picked up Pony for appointment.
Filled out paperwork and waited 90 minutes for appointment.
Sis sent text that she was called out of town, couldn't sign today.
Left appointment with 35 minutes to get to bank for signing.
Sis sent text, frantic that if I couldn't sign, closing would be delayed by another week.
Hick drove like a madman (madder man) to get me to the bank before 4:00.
On the highway at 3:44, got email that I need to send digital file of my contest winners for publication.
Arrived at bank at 3:51. Signed one form, gave copy of driver's license photo (!) to loan agent.
Text Sis to tell her I signed at 3:56. And that she gave me the wrong name of the loan agent.
Hick told me there's a black Chevy Suburban for sale by the donut shop. We need to look at it because we need a newer car.
Because, you know, there's not enough going on this week.
My head is spinning from all that activity.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it is more a function of your Whirling Dervish exercise routine.
DeleteWait? Was it raining?
ReplyDeleteApparently, Val nodded off during the metaphor lesson.
DeleteOkay....I don't get the title...I don't think I read anything about the Morton Salt Girl OR the Stay Puff guy....Hmm....Has Val totally "lost it"?!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't think I didn't notice your "borrowing" of my recent blog post info..... :)
Well, they can't all be gems. This one is cubic zirconia. Sometimes Val goes astray, what with churning out 730 blog posts per year.
DeleteVal is well known for her sticky fingers, her last acquisition being "Little Barbershop of Horrors," first coined by Sioux in reference to Hick's barber building. However...try as I might, I cannot pinpoint what I have borrowed from you, so I will await the filing of formal charges.
FYI, Val's favorite cake flavor is chocolate with a hint of big honkin' file.
A Suburban? Those are bigger than Tahoes. Big enough to put a body in. (At least that's the car Tony Soprano recommended.)
ReplyDeleteYes! A Suburban and a Yukon are virtually interchangeable, both of which I used to pilot before downsizing to T-Hoe. Is this your way of asking me to get rid of a body for you?
DeleteI wouldn't have needed any encouragement to head for the donut shop after a day like that!
ReplyDeleteYou ain't a-woofin'! That's what Hick did on the way home, even though it was closed, and he's not supposed to eat donuts. He discovered that his MUST SEE vehicle was a 2008, with $150,000 miles. T-Hoe is the same age, with 90,000.
DeleteVal, you can't go on like this. Your head and tail will be meeting, at this rate. Post Office closes for lunch or just doesn't open till then?
ReplyDeleteSome people think they have already met, at a high rate of speed, forcing my head into my tail.
DeleteThe Post Office closes for lunch. But the hours change every couple of weeks. In fact, they're never right on the page my BFF Google shows me, and taped to their front glass is a sheet of computer paper with the current hours. No permanent sign for them!
Yikes! Pony really needs that drivers license! I have been in such a fog that I didn't even realize school had started.
ReplyDeleteYou're preachin' to the choir! We have set a tentative date of October 22 for the license test. I'll keep you posted.
Delete