And So It Begins: Bargain House Project

Hick has been sick with a cold. Now Old Buddy has it too. And ME! But on Wednesday, Hick and Old Buddy tore off the decrepit back porch area of Bargain House, our newest flip project. In case you've forgotten how it looked, here's a refresher:

In true Hick photography fashion, his picture sent to show me his progress was taken from far away. With the subject almost an afterthought:

I suppose he remembered after he was driving away. I can't imagine he parked SilverRedO this distance from Bargain House when he and Old Buddy were there to work. It's not like they need extra steps for exercise. Or that the street was filled with other parkers there to watch the festivities.

Here, I've tried to zoom in for you:

Bargain House is already looking better! Still a long way to go. I think Hick plans to close in part of the back porch for a laundry room.

A Mixed Message From Hick

Wednesday evening, I overheard the show Hick was watching. It happens a lot. He puts the volume way up. I recognized the voice of Josh Gates, who's on the show Expedition Unknown that Hick likes to watch. But this time, he was asking if somebody was trying to contact him.

"What in the world are you watching?"

"Expedition X. They're in a French castle, looking for paranormal activity."

"I thought you didn't believe in paranormal activity. Why are you watching that show?"

"Well, on Expedition Unknown, they sometimes find stuff. So I was watching this one to see what they're looking for."

"You never believe me or The Pony when things happen to us!"

"Last night, I was in bed and heard a big BANG. Did you close the dryer? It was loud, and right by my head. At first I thought it was the well pump blowing up."

"No. I left the laundry in the dryer until morning, after you left. It was just towels. Even if I get it out at night, I just barely push the door closed, so it doesn't make a noise. I didn't hear anything."

"It was around 1:00."

"I was awake then. Watching the end of Wildcard Kitchen, the rerun from last week."

"I don't know what it was. OOH! Something just flew by them! It gave me chills!"

"Did they show something? Or just say it flew by them?"

"I didn't see nothin'. But they flinched at the same time."

"I believe you heard something last night. But you never believe me or The Pony. I've had something poke me in the back and the neck while I was in bed, after you had left. When The Pony lived here, he would run upstairs from the basement, saying I called his name. When I didn't."

"I've had something try to push me out of bed!"

"Well. Apparently you just won't ADMIT that you believe in paranormal activity..."

The Stories They Could Tell

Sometimes you see things that don't make sense. You try to imagine the scenario that led to such a sight. You rarely discover the truth. 

The Pony sends me pictures of such sights along his route. Like the sidewalk meat. No explanation was ever discovered for that one. Here's one from Monday:

The Pony sent that picture around noon. "Well, somebody in Backroads had a bad day!"

At least it wasn't The Pony this time! It made me wonder why these spectacles were on top of this mailbox. At least that what I think they're on. What reason could there be?

If somebody fell and broke their glasses, surely they would take them inside, or along with them until the glasses could be fixed.

If an ambulance had been called for a fallen person, surely the attendants would have also scooped up the glasses to take with the patient.

It's not grass-mowing season, so a groundskeeper did not likely find the glasses and put them up. Maybe somebody shoveling snow found them. Maybe even caused the breakage. So just left them there, rather than confess and hand them over when getting paid for shoveling.

If the glasses fell out of somebody's purse or pocket, maybe that person didn't know, and a neighbor found them and put them on the mailbox if the person wasn't home. That's the most reasonable explanation, I think.

I doubt this mystery will be solved.

Clearing the Land

Hick always wanted to be a land baron. He grew up not having much. You know, just things like a home that wasn't rented, and an indoor bathroom. He has always worked for what he wanted. At the time I met him, he was excited about an upcoming tax sale. That's when there's an auction on the courthouse steps for property that has delinquent taxes for the past three years.

Hick would look through the local paper for the date of the tax sale, and to look at properties available, and make his picks. Take a day off work to attend. 

Anyhoo... Hick didn't have a lot of money to spend, being between marriages, with other financial responsibilities that came first. This was back in the mid-80s. He bought several properties for under $100 total. 

As you might imagine, they were not prime real estate. One was a narrow strip of land between a garage door business and the road. A couple were lake lots not level enough for building, but good for getting access to a lake development for recreation. A couple were in towns. We sold one of them several years ago, to a guy who had been planting his garden on it, thinking no one would be the wiser. It was a friendly transaction. No strong-arming, no lawsuit threats.

Our real estate tax list is becoming unwieldy. These properties are just an annoyance when writing out the tax payments, now that we have flip properties to deal with as well. I think the highest one is $35 or less. Some are single digit amounts. 

Anyhoo... we are listing these little properties for sale. Not the strip of land. Hick is just letting that sit there because nobody will want to buy that. Realtor told him at the closing for Bargain House that this little strip of land will be an issue if the owner of the business there tries to sell, because he won't have a clear title. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Anyhoo... the best lot is in Backroads. At one time Hick thought he might put a basic house on it. Or some storage units. Then we got into the flipping business. We've listed this lot with Realtor. It does not even have a numbered street address. It's wooded.

I told The Pony we had listed our town lot, and gave him the street name.

"It's on Realtor's website now. Don't know if anybody will want it, but someone might. The description says it's on a blacktop road."

"I know where that is! It's at the end of my route. Somebody just built a house right next to it, that I deliver to. As for being on a blacktop road... well... I guess you could say that. It's where the blacktop road ends!"

"Whatever. If somebody wants land to build a house in town, it's there."

The Pony is such a jokester. He sent me a text on Saturday afternoon:

"Oh look! It's your [Town Street] land!"

"Heh, heh. Yes it is."

The Pony's picture is more descriptive than what Realtor used. That was just a map with plot numbers. Perhaps that's just as well.

Bananadrama

Is this a sign of the apopadopalyspe (as Hick calls it)? What is going on with bananas these days? I have never seen such a sight in all my years of buying and eating bananas.

Several days ago I bought these bananas at 10Box. I buy them there all the time. They have good bananas. The ones from Save A Lot are sometimes WOODY, and a couple times I got fruit flies from there. The bananas at Country Mart are often a bit too ripe by the time I get there on Thursdays. Anyhoo... I've never had a problem with 10Box bananas. Until now.

That's what I'd call a banana split, heh, heh! And not the good kind with chocolate, strawberry, pineapple, whipped cream, nuts, and a cherry.

This banana was fine when I picked it out in the store on Wednesday. It was on a bunch of five. All were fine. Mostly yellow, with a slight green tinge. The kind I always pick out. I bagged them myself, with only another bunch of slightly larger bananas for Hick. They went straight from the store to T-Hoe's rear, then had a 10-minute ride home, where Hick carried them inside and set them in the glass bowl on the kitchen counter.

Thursday I looked at that bunch of five bananas, and peeled off the one that looked most yellow. The other four were fine. Friday, I did the same. All bananas were fine. Saturday, when I picked up that bunch, THIS BANANA had a big split down the side! What in the Not-Heaven??? Hick had been picking from his own bunch of bananas. Can't blame him (for once)! I didn't try to eat this banana. I tossed it off the back porch and had another.

Sunday, I went to get the one remaining banana from this bunch. It had a tiny split, about an inch long. I peeled it and ate it anyway, cutting out a small light-brown sliver that was under the beginning of the split. Hick's bananas all look fine.

I've never seen this. Bruises, yes. Bananas that are hard like a tree limb. Bruises. But not a split. Other than that, these bananas were perfectly normal in appearance and taste. 

The Universe MOCKS me!

Some Good News, and Not

Hick went by the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house on Friday to check on the frozen water line situation. THE WATER FLOWED! He said all the faucets worked again, normal pressure. There was no sign of any water leaking anywhere in the house. No sign of water leaking in the yard. 

Hick says he will continue to go by and look, just in case there's a leak underground. He doesn't think so, because a leak in the city pipe underground would most likely result in less pressure when trying the faucets in the Beauty Shop. I guess Hick's efforts with the propane heater outside where the water line comes into the house had some effect on the thawing, because temps only reached the lower 30s on Friday.

Friday afternoon, Hick had a call from Realtor with an offer on the Double Hovel from the people who viewed it on Thursday. It was for 2/3 the listed price. NOPE! This offer was $10,000 less than the previous two offers we've had.

Realtor said, "I know your answer on this offer already, but I'm obligated to make it." She agreed with Hick that such a lowball offer was an insult. The Pony asked if Hick countered with our bottom-line selling price. No. That would give legitimacy to the offer, and the prospective buyer would try to play the "split the difference/split the difference" game with us, and walk away with a giant bargain.

Realtor did not mention the demographics of the prospective buyer. For example, didn't say if it was a family wanting the extra house for a relative, or a young couple wanting to rent one house to pay the mortgage on the one they'd live in, or an investor. Realtor DID say it was a cash offer, which leads us to think it was an investor wanting to rent both properties.

Let the record show that the pricing on the Double Hovel was suggested by Realtor herself, when Hick had wanted it to be a few thousand more. So it's perfectly reasonable according to neighborhood comps. Our bottom-line price allows some wiggle room for bargaining. We're not reducing the price just because of these lowball offers.

I can't blame investors for trying to get a good deal. That's why they're investors! I'm sure sometimes their tactics work, because some people might be paying a loan on the property, as well as their own mortgage, and run into cash flow problems, and just want to get out from under their obligations. That's how we got Pony House for $23,000. A guy had torn it down to the studs, and then didn't have funds to finish the renovation. He got his money, and we got a bargain.

Anyhoo... good news on the frozen water line, and okay news on the Double Hovel viewing. At least people WANT it. They just don't want to PAY for it, heh, heh!

Rockin' Reuben

Wednesday was Reuben Sandwich day at the Senior Center! Despite his efforts to (unsuccessfully) thaw out the frozen water line at the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel, Hick found time to order us Reubens to carry out for supper. He has to call ahead that morning to reserve them. It's one of the most popular meals. Hick rocks! AND, he paid for them out of his own pocket, not our household money! Of course he also went there to eat one for lunch, too. 

The menu described the meal as:

Grilled Reuben

Potato Soup OR Beef Vegetable

Slaw

Crackers

Brownie or Fruit

They were mostly accurate this time. Only the dessert was different.

Hick told me first thing that "The soup was delicious!" Indeed! It was more than just orange liquid this time. Look at those noodles! And there is actually MEAT in there. If anything, it was light on the "vegetable" part. The slaw is the creamy kind. The Reuben was on the good marble rye bread.

Hick was not happy with the desserts. Would you be? He said he should have told his buddy to make sure it was two slices of pie. Hick HATES applesauce. I am neutral on it, but didn't want this version. That looks like it would be four or five individual cups of applesauce. I don't need half a jar! Besides, I always give my dessert to Hick. So this applesauce was wasted. I threw it out. As for the pecan pie... have you ever seen a sadder slice? I'm sure the taste was fine. Hick ate it, anyway.

I had asked Hick if he was bringing the Reubens home at noon. He said no, that he would store them in the refrigerator at the Beauty Shop like usual, then pick them up on his way home. I reminded him that Realtor was showing the property at 3:00. And the Beauty Shop probably shouldn't smell like kraut when they walked in! [No word back so far from Realtor, but at least I know a kraut smell won't be to blame if the viewers were not interested.]

Hick said he'd keep them in the bed of SilverRedO. For once, this made sense to me. They were in the white foam containers, inside white plastic bags, not soaking up the sun, at 35 degrees. 

Yes, a Wednesday night Reuben has so far been the high point of my week. I stayed home Sunday/Monday/Tuesday because of single-digit daytime temperatures. I went to town Wednesday and Thursday, in the 30s.

Here's the state of our gravel road down alongside the creek, on the way to Mailbox Row.

That's from Thursday. At least four inches of solid ice. Very slippery. As long as you creep along, you won't go into a spin. T-Hoe's 4WD is a comfort to me, knowing that I turned it on, even though it is no better than a regular 2WD car on the ice. IF I would slide off the road, at least T-Hoe would get traction on the rough parts where some melting has occurred.

MAYBE a thaw will start today. It's been since January 4, people, when that storm dumped this on us! And maybe Reubens will be on the Senior Center menu again next month.