Are you sitting down? If not, pull up a chair. A chaise lounge might be good. And a side table, for arranging your stiff shot of whiskey, smelling salts, and perhaps a home defibrillator. I, myself, am still giddy with the news, which I learned on Thursday.
HICK GOT T-HOE AN APPOINTMENT WITH MICK THE MECHANIC!
And it's on MONDAY! Which is today, as you are reading this!
[PAUSE]
There. I had to wait for all to regain consciousness before continuing. T-Hoe will have to stay overnight. He's that sick! So many things wrong. After all, T-Hoe is growing long in the tooth. He's 17 in car years. I don't know how that equates to human years. But I figure T-Hoe would qualify to live in a parking garage for seniors.
Tonight I'm going to give Hick a list of what needs to be checked out. Because he's HICK, you know, and will probably try to skate by with just an oil change and shocks. I know the electronic issue with the radio sometimes going off for five or twenty minutes, and the heat/AC stopping to blow normal outside air, and the seat heaters not working, and the backup beeper not working, and the tire sensors saying I have ZERO pounds of air in two tires, won't be addressed.
What I HOPE will be checked out would be the putt-putt sound when T-Hoe idles at stoplights, making me fear he is dying. [Hick himself admits that he doesn't recall T-Hoe ever having new spark plugs in all these 17 years.] And the instability of the front end, which has supposedly been "fixed" twice. [Hick says it's the stabilizer bar.] The shocks are definitely necessary, T-Hoe having been beaten within an inch of his lives all these years on a mile of potholed gravel road that includes Hick and Buddy's Badly Blacktopped Hill. [I'm not sure why Hick only mentioned REAR shocks. Don't they come on the front, too?] Also, the brakes are grabby, so something seems amiss there. [Hick swears he doesn't notice the brake problem, but his normal braking method is enough to make my head bob like a fake dog in the back window.] Oh, and of course I expect the oil to be changed!
The two times the stabilizer bar was "fixed," I enjoyed a firmness in steering that nearly made me weep! I'm hoping the shocks will stop me from getting seasick with the sailing I do after any little bump. Knowing T-Hoe's engine arrythmia has been fixed will make me more confident while idling. Brakes should give a smooth deceleration, not grab and let go like they're teasing you.
Oh, and I will also add that Hick broke this great news to me while handing me two bills on Thursday evening. The first for $353.28 for two new front tires for SilverRedO. And the second for $116.36, for the alignment of those two tires on SilverRedO. It seems like SilverRedO is always being pampered and groomed, with eyebrow-plucking, mani/pedis, chemical peels, massages, and the occasional Brazilian wax... while T-Hoe is the "before" version of Sandra Bullock as Gracie Lou Freebush in Miss Congeniality.
I have high hopes for T-Hoe's rejuvenation. But at least he'll be getting that oil change.
I think you should include ALL your concerns on that list, not just the few you think Hick will have addressed. Electronic issues, seat heaters, back beeper, A/C, tyre sensors, EVERYTHING. T-Hoe deserves it as much as you do. And if SilverRedO can have such loving care, then so can T-Hoe! The oil change is just the beginning.
ReplyDeleteYou're forgetting how long it took me to get Hick to make an OIL CHANGE appointment! Baby steps! I gave him a list with the five main issues: oil, shocks, stabilizer, brakes, and the putt-putt sound.
DeleteAt first Hick said to just write down to check all the warning messages. When I reminded him that it mentions the backup beeper and the tire sensors, he said, "We ain't getting THAT done!" At least he agreed that T-Hoe DOES need tires. Just not right now...
Add new spark plugs to that list. And why not "right now" when pampered SilveRedO gets a "spa" treatment more than once a year? Isn't it better to get it all done and then he can forget about T-Hoe for another ten or so years?
DeleteShame on him!
Spark plugs are on the list. Only it doesn't say spark plugs. I think it says "timing." Something Hick told me to write on the list. So they're definitely being checked.
DeleteT-Hoe is STILL IN THE SHOP! He might be there for a month if we got EVERYTHING done at once!
In Hick's mind, T-Hoe is the ugly step-child. My husband loves to trade cars. We would have a different vehicle every 6 months if I didn't watch him closely. Our youngest has that same new car lust and she always has a different vehicle when we see her. Her son, though, takes the cake in this department. He currently has a motorcycle, two cars and a truck. Why? He wanted them and he paid for them, and he pays his own insurance. When it comes to other matters, such as his health, he is cheap. He had all 4 wisdom teeth removed under local anesthesia; said he wasn't going to pay extra to be put under anesthesia!
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ. Hick treated his own stepson WAAYYY better than he treats T-Hoe. He was heartbroken when the kid's mom told him at age 11 that Hick wasn't his "real" dad, and prevented him from coming for weekend visits and summer vacation with HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) and The (little future) Veteran. In fact, Hick treats random customers in his shop better than T-Hoe!!!
DeleteMaybe Hick's relationship with T-Hoe is part of his secret plan (I'm pretty sure) to accelerate my eventual demise! Or to keep me from running away like our disappearing pets!