Hick is excited about the return of bingo at the Senior Center. You may recall how he seemed to win a lot of stuff every time he played. Until he didn't...
"We've got somebody new running the bingo. They're supposed to be giving away three hams. Honey hams! I'm playing today!" Hick said on Wednesday.
"WHAT? Maybe that's why I can't find a honey ham anywhere. I've looked at three stores, but only found hickory smoked. I got two, because you know we'll send one home with The Pony. They're half hams. Boneless, since that's all you ever want. Around five pounds."
Of course Hick had to send me a text of his winnings:
"I won a ham. I just won two smart watches and a little cake."
There are his smart watches, with multiple bands. He'll probably sell them at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5). The "little cake" turned out to be petit fours.
This is later that night, after Hick ate two of the vanilla kind. I pointed out that it was April 16, and the date on the packages said they were "best by" April 13. Not a problem for Hick. Or me... I ate a chocolate one last night, and it was pretty good.
The ham came in a box. I told Hick that I had made room for it in the bottom of FRIG II, but to take it out of the box so it would fit.
"Take it out? Well. I guess it will be all right." He took his pocket knife, even though he was standing at the kitchen counter, with a butcher knife and bread knife handy. Sliced open the box. "Oh. It's wrapped."
What in the actual NOT-HEAVEN was Hick expecting? A naked ham sitting in a cardboard box?
It was NOT a honey ham! Now we have three hams. This is the biggest. About 10 pounds. You might note that the white print at the bottom says to "use or freeze by Feb 01, 2025." I suppose it will be all right. Surely they had it frozen until the giveaway, wouldn't you think? We will eat it first, and I can freeze our others. Heh, heh. I'm kind of liking that it's a bone-in ham!
I suppose Hick might have questioned the age of the ham, when he picked up the box to bring it home:
Then again, Hick is not known for his attention to detail.
Oh, Hick. Ham sounds great. Wanna ship one to California?
ReplyDeleteUnless The Pony could bring it all the way, I would worry about it arriving safely, in a timely manner! I just read this week about the trial of a St. Louis USPS worker who was in a check-stealing ring. Somebody else may be running a ham scam!
DeleteHick had some nice winnings. I would have been excited to have won those prizes...especially the little cakes:)
ReplyDeleteHick loves anything he gets for free! The "cakes" were so cute, but bigger than what I think of as a petit four.
DeleteLOL! You guys are a stitch!
ReplyDeleteAnd soon to be stuffed with expired ham!
DeleteThat 2025 looks more like 2026 to me but I still have cataract in one eye so I could be wrong. I like that it's pre-sliced. I prefer smoked hams over honey hams and usually buy a double- or triple-smoked ham at Christmas. But always a small one, maybe a pound and a half or less since it's just me here. I LOVE Petit Fours! They're so cute and often really prettily decorated.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that's 2025. Especially since the ham was packaged in a Christmas box. I don't think the company would package it that way so far ahead of this Christmas.
DeleteI ended up eating the chocolate petit fours. The only thing I didn't like was the candy beads on top. They were pretty, but can be tooth-breakers!
Surely, no one would give away a ham that old! It gives me the icks thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteI imagine it was frozen. When you think about how hams are cured, that is way more disturbing to me. Also how steaks are aged.
DeleteCure 81 are known to be one of the best hams. My mother always bought one at Easter & they're not cheap! 2 smart watches will sell so quick. Hick is one lucky person. He should try his luck buying a lottery ticket.
ReplyDeleteExpired or not, this ham had a very nice flavor! Hick has NO luck with lottery, unless I buy the tickets for him.
DeleteI love a good ham, but it makes my hands swell! You would think getting old would have more advantages when it comes to food!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your ham affliction! I suppose you should also avoid the olives and pickles that I like to have with my ham!
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