Hick, in the Casino, With a Dope

Reports of Hick being an asymptomatic superspreader are greatly exaggerated.

 

We went to the casino on Thursday. The Pony was feeling a bit indisposed, and did not make the trip with us. So it was just Hick and me in line at the grill for lunch. We were looking forward to the FAIR FOOD that we'd glimpsed last trip. [You'll see the fair food tomorrow.]

 

At 2:30, Hick met me at the entrance. It's an open area on the back right side of the casino. It used to be called the Lone Wolf Express, but with the new ownership since January, it's called Express. You go through a line, looking at pie slices in a glass case, and the menu on the wall up near the ceiling. Then you order at the register, get your foam soda cup/lid/straw, and head to the soda fountain. NO REFILLS!

 

The Pony would have been proud of Hick this time. He actually waved his palm under the sanitizer dispenser at the entrance to Express, rather than pushing on it, whacking it, and shaking it. We were sanitized up to our elbows as we walked across the tile to the pie cooler. Of course we were masked, as that's a rule to gain entrance into the casino, and not get tossed out on your ear. I, myself, felt prepared to perform surgery. Hick, I wouldn't have trusted to play a game of OPERATION! Not for sterility reasons, but because he doesn't know water-on-the-knee from a wrenched ankle.

 

Anyhoo... Hick walked ahead of me, and I didn't think to complain. He does that all the time, almost as if I am not worthy. Besides, I was thinking about what FAIR FOODS I wanted for my meal. I was standing behind Hick, still thinking, when the man ahead of him turned around.

 

"Hey, buddy."

 

Buddy did not speak back. In fact, he looked a little unfriendly. Then it dawned on me what his problem was. Hick had dared get within four feet of his back! I guess Hick sensed his perceived faux pas. But he held his ground. 

 

"I'm on MY circle, buddy. Yours is over there." Hick pointed ahead to the next circle, over by the brick wall.

 

Indeed, Hick WAS standing on the six-foot circle. Buddy was in No Man's Land. He'd been looking up in the air. Maybe he was really far-sighted, reading the menu on the back wall. I had assumed he would either go towards the line proper, or we'd pass around him. The only other person in Express was a little old lady standing at the register about 20 feet away! 

In fact, there were THREE more six-foot circle decals between newly-relocated Buddy's spot, and the little old lady. Buddy stood there until she paid and went out into the eating area. Then he walked across the three other circles to order.

Hick and I ordered our FAIR FOOD [tomorrow, I told you!] and proceeded to a table. The tables are set up at least 10 feet apart. Maybe 15. They've taken some of them out. Of course once we were served our food, we took off our masks to eat. 

 

Midway through our feeding frenzy, I glanced over at the table Buddy had chosen by the entrance. He had been joined by a buddy. They were both dressed in jeans and flannel shirts. It's kind of a uniform around here, even in summer, although temps were in the 70s that day.

Buddy was wearing his mask, so I figured he had finished his meal, and was chatting with his buddy, whose back was to me. Then I saw Buddy pick up something, and lift it towards his mouth! I was distracted by Hick asking something, and took my eyes off him momentarily. I swear, I'm pretty sure Buddy shoved a morsel of food up under his mask to eat it!

Ooh! Yuck! I can't imagine how much gunk was embedded in the weave of that mask, after wearing it around the casino, and touching it to adjust it. And now Buddy was shaking it loose right over his mouth, moving it to put food into his probably-gaping maw. Yet he'd been worried about Masked Hick standing within four feet of his masked self. I guess next time, Buddy will plop himself on a distancing decal forthwith. 

Of course, he'll probably expect the next person to allow three empty circles between them. That is crazy, baby! To wear a mask while you're eating! If you're that skittish, perhaps you shouldn't come to a freakin' casino!

It takes all kinds of kinds, I suppose. As Miranda Lambert sings.

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Did I mention that tomorrow, I'll tell you about the FAIR FOOD? With pictures!

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