Hick came back from town (most likely having donuts at Casey's), and saw his Walmart-bag-wrapped fake sweets. He heaved a sigh and stumped off to Genius's bedroom. From there, he proceeded to the footrest of his La-Z-Boy (where I was ensconced with HIPPIE), and laid a large soft item and a Walmart bag on my lap.
Once I rescued HIPPIE from possible smotheration, I saw my Valentine's Day gift from Hick:
It's a GAMBLING QUILT! Not to take to the casino, of course. Just a gambling themed quilt, for warming myself here. I LOVE IT! The picture didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. We were having an overcast day, and the lights of the living room didn't do it justice. It's a full size quilt, but not heavy. You know. Not all quilty. Not stuffed with stuffing. Just right.
Hick said there were two up for auction, and he was going to buy them both, and give one to my sister the ex-mayor's wife, but another guy outbid him on the first one. He made sure to get the second one for me. I don't mind getting a gift he bought at the auction. It's not like he gave me AUCTION MEAT.
The only drawback was when I spotted a HAIR on my new gambling quilt. I might have slightly screamed, and told Hick to take it off my lap. He said it was JUST a hair. That it might even have been HIS. I said that he might have sat on it and got his poopy butt on it, too, but that didn't mean I wanted a poopy quilt. So Hick said, "Well, you can always wash it."
I think perhaps Hick should have washed my hairy quilt before giving it to me. It being a gift and all. But I still love it, and I'll wash it myself.
Hick also gave me a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and a box of chocolate XOXO. They were from Walmart, and did not need washing.
At first I assumed you were going to make fun of a crappy gift from Hick. Then I saw the quilt and thought it was really cool, but still assumed you would poke fun at it, I was glad to see you loved it and just saved a rogue hair to complain about.
ReplyDeleteHang it out side and wack it with a tennis racket a few times... it will be fine.
You don't know how thrilled I was to get this quilt instead of a $3 change purse and two boxes of Sno-Caps. There's nothing to make fun of here. I don't even want to whack it!
DeleteAww, Hick just melted my cold and stony heart. It's the perfect gift for you. Run it through the washer and dry it in the sun, then wrap yourself in it.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget his original intention to also get the other one for my sister the ex-mayor's wife! He said he stopped bidding at $10, and the other guy got it for $10. Then Hick got mine for $9.
DeletePut some vinegar in the water the first time you wash it. It will set the colours so they don't run. Nice quilt.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip! I don't have any experience washing gambling quilts!
DeleteIt is almost like Hick actually put some thought into his gift to you!! Had he taken it one step further and laundered it before presenting it … hell might have frozen over!!! Just goes to show you that they CAN think and sometimes do. I got chocolate covered strawberries! I cooked the requested tacos, along with homemade refried beans, Spanish rice and chopped all the lettuce and black olives for him. You will recall, I am sure, that I do not care for chocolate. He ate the strawberries for me. It is the thought that counts!!
ReplyDeleteI know! This is close to being the best of his gifts, the number one spot being held by my original office rolly chair!
DeleteGlad "you" enjoyed your strawberries!