Back-of-the-Book Blurb Friday #10

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to entice you to buy my fake book. You should. Because I struggled to fake-write my fake book this week. It was like all my creative juices had dried up. Turned to stone. As of 4:38 p.m., I still had nary an inkling of what I could do with that picture. Then it came to me. Like a rock tossed through a window with a note tied to it. But without the note. Just a rock that hit me in the head. Which I'm sure you can imagine, after reading my blurb, and fighting to get your hands on my fake book.

The Nanny that Rocks the Cradle

Nan was a hard-nosed little gal. Kept her nose to the grindstone, so it didn’t get out of joint. She kept it clean, and out of the air. Never stuck it where it wasn’t wanted. Her brother Bert was another story. He had a nose for trouble.

Nan thought she had Bert under control. He was in a permanent state of jump-readiness, just waiting for her to say how high, or point out which hoop. What Nan hadn’t counted on was Bert’s total disregard for the rules set in stone by their parents. Bert was constantly sneaking out of their glass house. He couldn’t wait to cast the first stone and kill two birds with it. Leaving no stone unturned to find a solution, Nan called SuperNanny Medusa.

It only took one look from SuperNanny Medusa to make Bert behave. Will Nan remain stoned for eternity as well? (148 words)

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Fake Reviews For Val’s Fake Book

The Thinker…”Try as I might, I can't imagine a single redeeming quality in Thevictorian's fake book.”


Abe Lincoln, from His Memorial…”It's all I can do not to stand up and run away from this sorry piece of fake literature. I would hurl it into my fireplace rather than read it. The only good thing about it is its ability to provide more light with which to read a real book.”


Venus de Milo…”Pardon me if I don't applaud this fake book. I feel no love for Thevictorian's tale.”


George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt…”If only we had bodies so we could run far, far away from this abomination of the written word! Thevictorian's fake book should be banished from the face of the earth.”


Plymouth Rock…”If I had seen Val Thevictorian's ancestors disembarking from the Mayflower, I would have pinched off a boulder and crushed them to prevent her very existence, and the future publication of this fake book.”


David…”I don't embarrass easily, but I feel nothing but embarrassment for Val Thevictorian. Does she not know that throngs of people point and laugh at this fake book, and her shortcomings as an author?"


Christ the Redeemer…”There is absolutely no redeeming value in Thevictorian's fake book. Even a translation to Portuguese would not help.”