What We Have Here Is a Failure to COINmunicate

Do you see what I see? NOTHING! No coins were found this week to apply to Val's Future Pennyillionaire Fortune. That's a shame. With the end of the year so close, I was hoping to break records in all categories. Oh, well. Still a few weeks left. Maybe a young 'un will drop a piggy bank out the window...

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That's 0 COINS this week, for 0 CENTS towards Val's Future Pennyillionaire Fortune!

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2022 RUNNING TOTAL

Penny          still at 115.
Dime            still at 20.
Nickel          still at 7.
Quarter       still at 7.

 

2021 FINAL TOTALS

Penny        124
Dime           14
Nickel           7
Quarter         6
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Casey's May Go Broke From Lack of Hick's Business

Hick's schedule was thrown for a loop on Thursday, when the Senior Center didn't serve lunch, but offered breakfast instead. Hick talked about it all week. Of course he went for breakfast! It started at 9:00 and went to 10:00, but Hick was there at 8:30, and had a cup of tea.

 

The menu was a sausage patty, scrambled eggs made into patties like McDonald's, hash brown, biscuit, gravy, and a cinnamon roll. Hick enjoyed it for his $3.

I think it was just a one-time thing. Lunch was not served. I hope Casey's doesn't go broke from losing Hick's donut business! Of course, I'm ASSUMING that Hick didn't also pick up donuts before his Senior Center breakfast... He did take his daily banana with him as he went out the door.

The Pony Is Not Sure-Footed

This was not exactly a surprise. I got a text from The Pony on Monday.

"Oh, yeah. I got distracted with holiday stuff, but want to see my bruise? I fell out of an LLV [Long Life Vehicle] on Wednesday and got a nasty one from smacking the bumper on the way down."

 

  

"YOUCH!"

"I actually worried for a bit until the knot went down that I might have broken one of the arm bones!"

"You really should be more careful."

"I mean, it's not like I intend to fall out of trucks!"

"No. But consciously get out safely, says the mom who closed her leg in the car door twice."

"It wasn't getting out! I was swapping a pivot over to someone. So it was falling out the back. The side I landed on was fine! It's just that I smacked either the wall, floor, or bumper with the other arm. Guy that I was swapping with wasn't sure if I just stepped out too far and missed my foothold, or if I stepped on the edge and my foot slid off the bumper."

 

"Dang! You had a witness, to add insult to your injury."

 

Let the record show that The Pony has broken both elbows, from falling in the hall at the high school on his way to my room after getting off the elementary school bus, and on the steps of the middle school on his way to lunch. 

He is not one you would want to ride down the trail of the Grand Canyon...

The Windows Are the Eyes to the Cold

When I stopped by on Tuesday, The Pony's day off,  to pick up his 8th house payment, I asked if his house was still cold.

"It's okay."

"Did you get curtains like I suggested?"

"No. I have blinds."

"Blinds don't insulate like curtains."

"But curtains have to hang down past the windowsill."

"No they don't. They can come down just to the bottom of the window."

"One of my windows is below the level of the bed."

"So?"

"If I have curtains, then they will interfere with the blanket."

"I don't get it. You mean your bed is AGAINST the windows? No wonder you feel the cold! Curtains would insulate. So you wouldn't feel the cold as your heated air gets chilled against the window. You know you can move the bed a couple inches away from the window, to allow the curtains to fall."

"But then something might fall off the bed and down against the wall! And I would have to move the bed, which is on wheels, to get it!"

Sometimes, trying to reason with The Pony is like trying to reason with Hick.

Not Every Day Can Be a Banquet

Hick was happy to leave a doctor appointment in time to have lunch at the Senior Center near The Pony's house. He didn't know what was on the menu, but he likes eating there for the low, low price of $3. Sometimes, you get what you pay for. This was a new meal he hadn't mentioned before.

 

"What did you have for lunch?"

 

"Potato soup. And a baloney and cheese samwich. With some peas and cheese. They had some kind of white sauce in them. Maybe it was mayo. Oh, and a slice of cherry pie for dessert."

 

I'm pretty sure that was worth $3 for Hick. The cherry pie alone would have drawn him in.

 

"What's on the menu for tomorrow?"

 

"Some kind of taco something."

 

That's another one I haven't heard him mention. I'll have to see what's included when he comes home. 

They asked Hick to play Santa, but he declined. Some other guy is going to play The Grinch. Hick has his own Santa costume, and will be donning it for his yearly pre-school group breakfast. Not sure why he wouldn't play Santa for the seniors. Maybe they should have tempted him with more than a bologna sandwich before asking.

I Don't Mind Waiting, But I DO Mind Being Ignored

Sunday afternoon, I stopped by the Liquor Store for scratchers. Only two cars were in the parking lot, if you don't count the line at the drive-thru window. They have their own cashier, so they don't concern me unless the line is blocking the entrance to the parking lot.

Nobody was waiting at the counter when I stepped inside. The clerk was doing something at the register. I know she knew I was there. They have a freakin' COWBELL on the door. So it clangs when people go in or out. I waited patiently for her to finish whatever she was doing.

Hmm. What WAS she doing? At first I thought she was putting a roll of coins in the register. I heard the tinkle of coinage. Perhaps there had been a shift change. I waited.

A woman came in, cowbell clanging, and stood behind me at the counter. A couple minutes passed. Still no greeting or go eff yourself from the cashier. We might as well have been invisible. ANOTHER woman came in, and went to the soda fountain. The cashier from the drive-thru register passed through, to fetch a soda for a car-bound customer. Still nothing from our clerk.

If it wasn't such a big deal for me to limp my way into the store, and shuffle down the blacktop ramp when leaving, I would have taken my $11 elsewhere! But it was easier to wait than huff out in a fit of pique.

FINALLY, with three of us in line, the clerk stepped out from behind her duck-blind-like wall of assorted last-minute-purchase trinkets. Still no greeting.

I told her what I wanted, shoved the money across the counter, and left with my precious scratchers. Which yielded not a single winner.

Would it have killed that clerk to say, "I'll be with you in a minute." Or "Just let me finish up my register." 

Probably not. Good thing LOOKS can't kill...

Val's Latest Weirdo, a Presumed Son of a Biscuit Eater

They always find me. The weirdos. I guess it's nice to know my magnet is still functioning, though I wish it would pull in more winning scratchers than weirdos.

I was in Country Mart on Friday, getting a jar of dill pickle chips for Hick. I don't know why he likes them. They remind me of the big plastic tub of dill pickle chips sitting on the condiment table in the school cafeteria, waiting to be stabbed with a plastic fork.

Anyhoo... I turned to push my cart down the aisle, and a man was standing at the end, blocking my way, with the help of a support pole. Leaving a space through which no cart could fit. He looked kind of like David Koechner, the actor/comedian from SNL, who played Todd Packer on The Office, and Lainey's dad/Murray's friend Bill on The Goldbergs. He was wearing jeans, and I swear a weird little vest like a fisherman might wear.

This was not my first weirdo rodeo. I did not make eye contact. I stopped my cart, and turned to peruse the selection of pasta across the aisle on my left. Surely that weirdo would come up the aisle and free my escape route. But no. He started to WHISTLE! Some Christmas tune, though it was not the one playing on the store's muzak. It was like a public employee stand-off. Neither one of us was going to move. We were prepared to wait it out.

I cracked. More like my KNEES cracked. I don't stand well. Moving is better. I was NOT going to turn and go an entire aisle-length out of my way. I wheeled my cart/walker toward the Whistling Weirdo. He stopped whistling. Didn't move. Stared at me. 

"Excuse me." Still he didn't move. I was trapped like a rat in a weirdo's lair.

"Stuff is so expensive these days."

"Yes. I agree."

"See these biscuits?" He cut his eyes to the two tubes he was holding with both hands, end-to-end, in front of his chest. "They wanted $5.98 for these over at Save A Lot!" 

"Huh. I usually find Save A Lot to be cheaper than here. This is the most expensive place I've ever shopped." 

I didn't look closely at the biscuits. They might have been tubes of Pillsbury Grands. Or maybe store brand. I've bought both there before. I don't remember the price.

"These are only $3.48!"

"Oh. Well. That's good."

While he was preoccupied by the biscuits, I edged my cart closer, and he stepped aside without realizing it. I made my escape while he stared after me.

I guess I'm lucky Fonzie wasn't there, ramming a cart into mine.