Last Friday, I took four savings bonds to the bank to redeem them. Oh, I have more than four that I need to unload, but I have to ration them to make sure the bank doesn't turn me away. It seems to be a major production at my facility. In fact, I got a 3-part episode out of it a couple years ago, on the quest for the elusive MEDALLION needed to verify the transaction:
Medallion, Medallion, Who's Got the Medallion?
What the Puck Does This Have to Do With a MEDALLION?
And Now, For the BONDage Faux Pas
I haven't really had a problem with taking a few bonds at a time. Sure, I should have taken these in January, February, March, and April. But now is better than later. I still have time to get the rest of 2019's in before the end of the year. Gosh! Bonds mature so fast! Seems like only yesterday they were earning interest.
These are Series EE U.S. Savings Bonds. They're like a triceratops, or a coelacanth in the animal/fish world. You can't even get them in paper form any more. They've been electronic since 2012. Val kicks it old-style, though. They were given to me in paper, and I had no desire to convert 169 of them to electronic. Technology is not Val's friend.
Anyhoo...I waltzed into my bank branch (refraining from pirouetting so as not to show off) with my four matured EEs and my death certificate. Well, not MY actual death certificate, but my mom's, which belongs to me. A customer had just left, and I was the only one in the lobby! Even rarer, TWO tellers were at the counter.
I could have gone to either one, but they were both playing the Public Employee Standoff Game. Head down, ignoring me. Oh, I don't think so! Val is well-versed in the Public Employee Standoff Game, after five years working for the state unemployment division. Neither teller was fiddling with any paperwork or computer screen. So I strode purposefully to the right. The time for waltzing had ended.
I chose to go right, because I thought the teller on the left was the one who'd intimated that I'd brought her a counterfeit cashier's check from my credit union after SHE had called the wrong institution to verify it. Back when Hick and I were buying the $5000 house.
Anyhoo...Blondie, the early-20s teller I dared to expect to help me, looked up when I set my folder on the counter. She was nice to me. Fake nice. She really needs to up her Fake-Nice game. I'm also well-versed in Fake-Nice, having made it through 28 years of teaching with one of the lowest parent-complaint rates among my colleagues. I attribute that to having a super-secret blog on which to vent.
Anyhoo...I told Blondie
"I have three things to do. I'd like to buy a roll of nickels, make a withdrawal from my account, and redeem four savings bonds."
I'd have worked from the simplest to the most complex, but Blondie pushed aside my two dollars for the nickels, my counter withdrawal slip, and went straight for the bonds.
"Do you have your driver's license?"
"I do."
I pushed it across the counter, along with Mom's death certificate with the official seal, since the bonds were in her name, with mine as TOD. And THAT'S when it got interesting.
"Does she have an account here?"
"Um. No. She's deceased."
"I know that."
"Since 2015."
Blondie called over the other teller, who thankfully was NOT the counterfeit-crier.
"SHE [gestured to the bonds] doesn't have an account here. Can we cash these?"
SERI-OUS-LY!!! They're 30-year bonds! I'm so sure people take them back to the exact place they got them! And why would having an account there be a condition for redeeming them? I think they're a little bit different than a personal check drawn on another bank.
Anyhoo...the other teller gave the go-ahead.
"Should I keep this?" Blondie held up the death certificate.
"No. But it wouldn't hurt to keep a copy, just in case, for your transaction."
Good thing! Because those certificates cost $13 to get with an official seal! I'm not doing that two more times to cash in my other 8 bonds for 2019! I think SHOWING verification is plenty. They don't have to KEEP it!
Anyhoo...Blondie hacked away at her keyboard. I said I wanted the money deposited in my account, not cash. She seemed a bit slow, like maybe she needed to ask more questions. I pulled out a form from my folder.
"I usually get one of these forms. For taxes."
"It's going to take a minute!"
Well. I was only trying to help. She went and copied the death certificate, and came back with such a printout for my tax records. She counted out the cash for my withdrawal. She forked over a roll of nickels for my two dollars.
Blondie got nicer the closer she got to getting rid of me. I don't know why she cared. As a former Public Employee Standoff insider, I know that whether she served ME the rest of the day, or a hundred other customers...she was getting paid the same.
Sometimes it seems the slower it is, the more of an imposition it is to service a customer.
ReplyDeleteYes, especially if more than one person is working. They try to wait each other out. Like a game of chicken. The loser is the one who caves first and calls the customer.
DeleteThis kind of hassle always used to drive me mad but since I've joined the idle rich (oops, I mean scraping by on Social Security) I've got all the time in the world so I just stand there and wait.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind waiting in a convenience store line for my 44 oz Diet Coke or scratchers. Or in a grocery store line, unless there is some tomfoolery afoot. I DO mind being ignored on purpose, because I know that game they are playing.
DeleteI don't even know what savings bonds are. I've heard of them, here as well as other places and I know they get redeemed for cash, but how do they actually work? does someone pay a certain amount for that piece of paper which then accrues interest over the years? I don't think we have that sort of thing out here.
ReplyDeleteIt's a safe investment. You buy the bond, and after 20 years, it's worth twice what you paid.
DeleteMy dad bought one each payday. He paid $100 for the bond. In 20 years, it could be redeemed for $200. Or you could let it keep accruing interest until it was 30 years old. Then it "matured," and no more interest was paid on it. So it was worth the $200 and whatever interest it made.
They come in different denominations. I guess the problem could be if people lose them or forget to redeem them. My dad always kept them in his safe deposit box at the bank. In later years, Dad bought them for the grandkids, with their names on the bonds. Otherwise, it's best to have them set up for Transfer on Death, to the person you want to have them. Then all they have to do is provide ID and the death certificate.
You know I don't think people should work at jobs they do not enjoy. I really dislike individuals who work in a service industry and obviously hate their jobs.
ReplyDeleteLike the saying goes, "I was looking for a job when I found this one." They should be actively looking while working the job they hate, rather than just complain about it and be miserable. Or go ahead and quit, which might make them look harder for a new one!
DeleteI always feel the need to question them, "You really don't like your job, do you?" "Too bad you aren't rich, then you wouldn't have to wait on me." "Ever thought of doing a different job that wouldn't involve serving people?" If they give me any crap, I insist on a manager. I love being on the other side of the counter!
DeleteI got the same teller today, and she acted like we were best friends! SO polite and courteous. Didn't even seem fake. I think it helps when they KNOW you've got their number. And I don't mean telephone digits. They respect someone who knows their game. It's not personal.
DeleteOf course, my opinion of the wrong-bank-calling, counterfeit-cashier's-check-suspecting OTHER teller IS personal!
You are so bold! I appreciate how you call them out. It's not like they can jump over the counter and smack you, but I am still reticent to confront them directly. I prefer passive-aggressive comments...
I completely understand what you mean about how they wait each other out. ALL the time at our bank, too. Much snow out there?
ReplyDeleteI think it's more of a reflection on how the employees interact, than on displeasure servicing the customers. At the unemployment office, it was like a group effort to wait out the slacker in the midst. Thankfully, I was in a department that made the phone calls to employers, not the one taking the waiting claimants to their desk.
DeleteWe had a smattering of snow, but mostly a glaze of ice. If I was a working woman, I could have had two days off!