How Many Devil's Handmaidens and Manservants Does It Take to Exchange a Pinwheel?

Four.

As you may recall, I was overcharged at Walmart on Sunday. On Monday, I packed up my troubles in an old kit bag overpriced pinwheels (and an empty pinwheel container showing the correct price) in a Walmart sack, and headed to The Devil's Playground to cause a stir.

I'm mad as Not-Heaven, and I'm not going to take it anymore! I've bitten the bullet eaten the onion that was the only good one in a bag of four, and tossed the three rotten ones off the back porch. Several times. Then quit buying onions from The Devil. I've also taken a loss on their rotten potatoes, and refused to buy bagged lettuce that was already showing brown spots with 4 days still to go before expiration. I told Hick I was NOT going to eat this $6 that I was overcharged on pinwheels! He fired me up like the crowd in The Legend of Billie Jean. Fair is fair!

Guarding the gates of The Devil's Playground was one of his Handmaidens. She was a bit long-in-the-tooth to be termed a "maiden," but at least she was a single-headed, two-legged, tailless version of Cerberus. She was actually quite polite, and also helpful. "You'll need to ask for a manager or a supervisor. The girls at the Customer Service desk won't be able to help you alone."

Lucky for me, only one other customer needed servicing, and he got his happy ending as I walked up. He nearly mowed me down in his haste to leave, but he DID apologize, in spite of his Millennialness. I think it helps when the Millennial has a little cowboy in him. Or is at least wearing one's boots.

The Devil's Handmaiden working the desk got all flustered. I told her as soon as she asked if she could help me, "Probably not. The lady at the door said I'd need a supervisor or a manager." The Devil's Manservant working beside her stepped over to help. And thus commenced the most ill-fated attempt to accomplish a mission since the Keystone Cops.

I tried to be helpful, pointing out the apparent wrong label, for SUBS, not PINWHEELS. And the package weight of 20 oz, not 5 oz. I'm pretty sure they finally understood that. At least the Manservant, who I noticed later had a badge proclaiming him to be a manager of some sort. They were quite polite, and seemed as if they truly wanted to solve my problem. Which was quickly becoming THEIR problem, since the register did not compute what they wanted to do, which was void the two $5.98 transactions, and replace them with two $2.98 transactions. Manservant knew what he was doing, but technology wouldn't let him do it.

While they were fiddling about and manhandling my pinwheels, a new Handmaiden showed up. Manservant asked her opinion, her being higher up The Devil's chain of command than he, and she agreed that he was handling matters correctly. She touched my shoulder (Val is not a touchy-feely person!!!) and said, "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. I'm on my way over there now, and I'll check the shelves and make sure they know."

Manservant was pecking away at that cash register like Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy, but without the attitude. THEN he pulled a CYA, and told his companion Handmaiden, "This works for me!" At which point he MADE IT RAIN!

By my calculations, I was due back six dollars plus tax. That's for the difference in two pinwheels at $5.98 each rather than the proper $2.98 each. I'm a virtual calculator, you know. My middle name might as well be CASIO, because I'm that SHARP, and I ain't no TEXAS instrument. Heh, heh, get it?

I think I was due a refund of $6.35. I have no idea how the Devil's Handmaidens and Manservant arrived at my refund of $9.70. But I'm TAKIN' IT!

I'm quite relieved that they didn't hand me $6.66 for my trouble.

Not only did I make a profit on the error of The Devil's ways, but my faith in his henchmen was strengthened. It was a good example of CUSTOMER SERVICE by that Manservant, who passed out the cash to placate me, even though the transaction didn't fit within the narrow confines of The Devil's policies.