Friday, December 8, 2017

Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #88 "Sleeping With the Dishes"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week, Val brings you the tale of a spoiled little rich girl. Unfortunately, her riches only went as far as her daddy's mansion door. Marriage has made getting what she wants more challenging. Even the tiny things. I hope this fake book's fake sales go swimmingly. C'mon! Don't be a drip! Order your fake copy today!


Sleeping With the Dishes

Margo's having second thoughts about her tiny house. She'd persuaded her husband, Chip, to withdraw his teacher's retirement money to finance the itsy-bitsy home. Now that it's built, Margo wonders what she's gotten herself into. Right now, it's the bathtub. Technically, it's the country sink. Chip, against it, put in an extra large one to make a point. It would also act as bathtub and washer.

Chip decrees they'll cut back on other items. Cleaning supplies. Margo's eyebrows double as Brillo pads for dish scrubbing. Which bathe with her, as Chip drives the tiny house to its new location, sloshing water acting as an agitator for the three pairs of his pants Margo wears to wash. And keep warm. No water heater here. Only Margo's body heat.

Will Margo come clean about her change of heart? If so, will she be sleeping with the fishes instead of the dishes? (149 words)

__________________________________________________________________

Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

A Kitchen Sink..."They can cut back on everything but me! Speaking of cutting back, a certain fake book editor had better not show her face around here. This whole debacle could have been prevented if Thevictorian's fake book had been trimmed of fat."

Garbage Disposal..."I am willing to do my part in making the world a better place. Toss Thevictorian's fake books this way."

Dish Drainer..."Thevictorian is all wet."

Dawn Dish Soap..."A little duck told me that if he has to see another fake book from Thevictorian, he will seek out an oil slick and let death take him."

Alan Jackson..."I's all right to be little bitty, it's all right to live in a little bitty house, but it's NOT all right to have not even a little bitty bit of talent, and fake-publish fake books. Who's cheatin' who, Thevictorian?"

Surendra Kumar Apharya..."A grain of rice is too much space to allot to Thevictorian for her next fake book."

Texas..."No room here for Thevictorian and her fake books. Hit the road, Val."

Rhode Island..."It pretty much goes without saying that I stand with Texas."

A Certain Part of Michelangelo's David..."Thevictorian shows her shortcomings as a fake author with this fake book. If only she shared certain attributes with the Venus de Milo, the literary world could have been spared. Eighty-eight times."

12 comments:

  1. A tiny house is where this author and her tiny talent should live.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see this as positive. Because I am being allowed to LIVE, and I have TALENT!

      Delete
  2. That's cruel, Stephen; funny, but cruel!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's allowed when he takes off his gentleman hat and puts on his fake-reviewer hat.

      Delete
  3. i love it when you segue from the kitchen...to country music... to Michael Angelo's, David's appendage. Your brain is always at work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the way my brain storms sometimes. One idea piggybacks on another. I never know where I'll end up.

      Delete
  4. After reading your reviews, I've concluded that you're preoccupied with Alan Jackson... along with a certain part of David.

    Hmmm.

    The idea of the house being moved around while clothes are agitated is brilliant.

    Thanks for playing along, Val. If I wrote a post--whether it's late or on time--and no one responds... Does the post really exist?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alan Jackson and I go WAY back. To when Genius was a baby, and his song Little Bitty was a hit, and Hick made us listen to WIL in the car. Which was a country station back then. I don't know about now.

      Yes, your post exists. In the same way that when I fall in the basement and nobody hears me scream, I still hurt.

      Delete
  5. Alan Jackson is a favourite here too, nice to see "his" comment.
    The book actually sounds interesting, a portable mini house built around a giant multi-purpose tub. When they drain the water, do they line it with blankets and pillows for sleeping in?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. Everything in the tiny house must have multiple uses. Except the toilet. Only one use for that, unless you count #1 and #2.

      Delete
  6. Poor Margo! There is no way I could live in a tiny house. In fact, the older I get, the more room I want in my house. I want bigger!!! (I think I'm scaring my hubby!). I think Margo will put her foot down and stop the craziness!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This tiny house trend reminds me of The Emperor's New Clothes. Why do people go to the trouble and expense of building a tiny house, when it's already been done, more efficiently and cheaper, and it's called a camper?

      Delete